


Fine and Dandy

by exordice



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Bullying, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, but reader is not okay, david is a cinnamon roll and gwen is my fave, idk if thats a tag, listen i only tagged the main three, pls dont read this if u think it might hurt u i dont want anyone to feel bad, rating may change if i can really bring myself to write SIN, reader is cis female btw, they are very good at hiding this fact but it is a fact nonetheless, they show up the most
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:43:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 56,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exordice/pseuds/exordice
Summary: After the disaster that was Daniel, no one was quite sure what to make of David's decision to hire another counsellor. This new one seemed to be okay. She hadn't attempted to murder any of the kids on her first day, so that was a bonus. A happy medium between Gwen's less-than-enthusiastic nature, and David's... well, just, David.But no one can keep up an act forever.





	1. Well, This Is Gonna Suck

**Author's Note:**

> soooo yeah. reader's character is pretty well defined. that's a weird thing to say. i didn't want to make a complete oc, but that's basically what she is. no actual name is mentioned, but personality is obviously defined. she also has an age. idk i just find it easy to write in second person instead of first. sue me.
> 
> actually please don't. i have no money. 
> 
> this came about after binging all of camp camp and falling more and more in love with david. he's my complete opposite so of course i adore him.
> 
> like i said in the tags, please do not read this if you think you might get triggered or hurt. i myself actually have depression, and part of this comes from my experience with it, so it'll probably get real at times. 
> 
> hope you have a fun time reading folks

You're pretty sure this is how the world is going to end one day. Crazy, caffeined-up children.   
  
You don't know how or when she got ahold of it, but Nikki had downed an entire jug of black coffee before anyone could even grab it off her. Gwen is now just staring where she used to be, left eye twitching as the teal-haired girl dashes around the room madly, babbling on about how a wolf could beat a bear in a fight, unless the bear was also a shark. Or something.  
  
David's vainly trying to get her to calm down. He keeps saying that 'Being energetic is a good thing! But too much energy could mean that you or others might get hurt. And that would not be a good thing at all.' But, honestly, you're not sure Nikki can even hear anything right now. She's definitely going faster than an olympic sprinter. Sorry Usain, but your record has just been shattered by a ten year old girl.  
  
Max sidles up to you, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.  
  
"You're not gonna try to help him?"  
  
You sigh, pulling your hands out of the pockets they had been resting in, and place them on your hips.  
  
"Listen, Maxie, when you get to being my age you'll realise some actions are futile and even if you try nothing will change. This-" you motion to the carnage unfolding before both of your eyes, "is one of those times."  
  
"I mean, no arguments here." He smirks up at you. "But isn't it like, your job or something? Not worried that you might get fired?"  
  
"Ugh. I guess if anyone would get blamed for this, it'd be me."  
  
"Well, yeah." He rolls his eyes. "You were the one in charge of breakfast this morning. Speaking of which, where's QM?"  
  
"I don't know, I think David said something about him taking a trip? Not sure where though." You shrug.  
  
The kid does have a point, this is kinda your fault. You took your eyes off of them for one moment, just to get a drink. And returned to chaos.  
  
Gwen wandered in at some point, presumably for food, and was the one who found Nikki with the jug. You heard her scream ' **NO!** ' and then a crashing sound.  
  
By the time you ran in from the kitchen, there was nothing that could be done. The jug was in pieces on the floor. Nikki was shuddering violently, dark stains on her clothes. David burst through the doors but a moment later, having overheard the jug smashing on the floor.  
  
Slowly, you make your way over to her.  
  
You think she's in shock. You wouldn't be surprised if she had genuine flashbacks of her time here when she finally left. The shit she tells you she's seen. You really hope it isn't going to be as bad while you're here. But, if this is anything to go by, your wish may not come true.  
  
Gently, you nudge her shoulder.  
  
"Gwen? You, you okay?"  
  
She shakes her head, and stands up straight, slapping her hands against her cheeks.  
  
"I fucking **knew** it was a mistake to keep let Max keep that coffee machine in his tent!"  
  
You take a step back. You are not about to get in her way whilst she rages.  
  
The tanned woman marches up to the middle of the hall, pushing some of the kids out of her way as she does so, and plants herself there.  
  
"The hell is she doing?" Ered asks.  
  
"Fuck if I know." It slips out before you can catch yourself, and you really hope David didn't hear that.  
  
Gwen narrows her eyes, focusing on Nikki as she darts around. You're pretty sure the kid was literally running up the wall at one point. God, what kind of child can do that?  
  
Then, in one fluid motion, her arm stretches out and her fingers close around the back of Nikki's overalls. She yanks the girl upwards, and glares at her.   
  
Nikki, true to character, struggles against the older woman wildly and gibbers madly about wildlife and nature and, and you think having babies? Fuck, the kid's really out of it.  
  
"Wow, Gwen." You nod, impressed. "That was pretty awesome."  
  
"I concur!" Squeaks Nerris, waving what you assume to be a wand around. "If you had a class, it would be rogue!"  
  
"That was some total ninja shit, Gwen!" Laughs Ered. "Good job! She was becoming uncool."  
  
"I have always like the Japanese!" Dolph interjects. You worry about him sometimes.  
  
Nikki stops struggling, and you're fairly certain she's having a caffeine crash. Poor girl. That's gonna be hard on her.  
  
"Alright, everyone!" David starts. "Breakfast has gone on a bit longer than normal, but we shouldn't let that get in the way of all the fantastic fun we're going to have today!"  
  
"Fuck." Max whispers. "I was hoping she'd last longer than that."  
  
"You really shouldn't sacrifice Nikki's safety as a way to get out of camp activities, Max." Neil says, clearly concerned about his friend.  
  
"Didn't you shove a bunch of ribbons down her mouth to prove a point about magic or some science shit?"  
  
The taller of two rubs his neck sheepishly. "Uh. Good point."  
  
These kids. Jesus. This is not what you expected when your parents said they found you a job.  
  
"I really, _really_  hate this place." Gwen spits, stomping out of the cabin with Nikki tucked under her arm.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Only an hour later, you're having pretty much the same thought.  
  
Gwen used breakfast as an excuse to take the rest of the day off, saying she had to take care of Nikki as she came down from her high.  
  
Bullshit. You know she's in her cabin, living it up. Well. Watching trash TV or something. Close enough.  
  
Meanwhile, David had the  **great** idea of teaching the kids a well-needed lesson about drugs and their harmful effects. When you tried to say that maybe—just maybe—giving them fake needles and pills was probably a bad idea, he brushed you off.  
  
_"Oh dear co-counsellor!" He laughed. "The kids will be fine! There's no actual needles in the needles, and the pills are just little bits of plastic!"_  
  
You wish you could say 'I told you so'. Just once. Unfortunately, you're too busy trying to give Space Kid the heimlich manoeuvre. He somehow ate all of the pills without even taking off of his helmet. And then his face turned all weird, so you're pretty sure he's fucking choking.  
  
You fucking hate this place. But can't show it, won't show it, nope it's all just fine and good and yep. You're not on the verge of a breakdown at all. Everything is one-hundred-percent coolio.  
  
Nurf is chasing down Nerris with a de-needled needle. Which wouldn't be so bad, had he not shoved a knife into it.  
  
"Come here magic nerd!" He grins widely. "Time for your shot!"  
  
"I don't need a shot!" She lisps back, terrified. "I cast a protection spell from all diseases!"  
  
"Nurf, put that down!" Cries David, running after them. "We talked about this!"  
  
Space Kid is making strange ass noises, and you're starting to panic. What if he dies? What if this child actually fucking dies? God, you would be fired so hard. Goodbye Camp Campbell, hello disappointed parents.  
  
No way are you letting that shit happen. You're not being sent home 'cause some stupid kid decided it was a good idea to chug plastic balls. As much as you hate this piece of shit camp, it's better than the look your mom and dad would give you as you walked through the door.  
  
You squeeze extra tight, and finally something gives. But it's not what you expect.   
  
He farts.  
  
The fucking kid. Farts.   
  
Everyone turns to look at the both of you.  
  
It lasts a long time. Too long.  
  
If he shits on you, you are going to kick this kid so hard he'll land in fucking Africa.  
  
He makes a noise of satisfaction and the fart finally dies off.  
  
You place Space Shithead down, and calmly ask if he was ever choking at all.  
  
Deafening silence is your answer.  
  
"Right." You say, voice way too level for what just happened. "Okay, everyone, presentation over. Hand everything back to David. Or so help me God I **will** commit some sort of crime here today."  
  
It works. The kids still aren't too sure of your personality yet, and can't tell if that threat is empty. Nor can you, at this point. Even Nurf looks anxious.  
  
After David has collected all of the items (and checked everyone's pockets in case they got any ideas) he turns to you. He managed to get Gwen to come take the kids, though you suspect he had to promise her extra vacation days or something.  
  
He's obviously embarrassed. That's one thing you like about the guy. He doesn't try to bullshit anything. If he fucks up, he admits he fucked up. Even if he does try to put a positive spin on it.  
  
"I'm..." He sighs, rubbing his hand down his arm. "I'm sorry friend. I shouldn't have ignored your warning."  
  
"No. You shouldn't have."  
  
He winces, but he needed to hear it. Still doesn't stop a _tiny_ sliver of guilt from creeping into your stomach.  
  
"I just wanted to make sure they knew how bad it is to do drugs. The incident with Nikki this morning inspired me!"  
  
"David, I don't think coffee counts as a drug. I mean, yeah, caffeine technically is but that's like calling tomatoes a fruit. You still wouldn't put them in fruit salad."  
  
"Right. Obviously." He coughs awkwardly, then smiles at you. "Still, you did an amazing job getting everyone to settle down! Even if it was a little frightening. For a moment there, I actually thought you might snap!" A chuckle escapes his lips.  
  
You feel like it wouldn't be a great move to say you thought you might as well, so you just shrug.  
  
"Someone had to round up those little bastards."  
  
"Hey-"  
  
You hold up your hands defensively.  
  
"Language. Got it. Sorry." You sigh. "But, they aren't around so y'know. Not that big of a deal."  
  
"But you're still so young! When I find myself in a fiddle—and let me tell you, it's more often that you'd think—I like to substitute bad words for something cleaner! I gosh darn heckin' do!"  
  
"David, I'm twenty, not ten. Cut it out, please? Don't treat me like one of them."  
  
His smile falters, but quickly comes back, tenfold.  
  
"Sorry co-counsellor, I just feel like I should be a good influence on you! Since your only other influence is Gwen... Who's nice! And smart! But does not have the cleanest mouth. Or best working ethic. But she's still really great!"  
  
You wonder what his breaking point is. The guy is always so able to bring positivity to everything, you can't help but wonder what he's like when he snaps. You're not sure you'd wanna see it. But part of you does. That dark curiosity.  
  
Shaking off that thought, you smile back at him. Forced as it is.  
  
"Well I'm sure she'd be glad to hear it. Now let's go make sure that Max didn't manage to do anything awful with the needle I saw him sneaking out in his hair."  
  
"Yes, let's-" David's face pales. "Wait, what?! Oh my golly goodness, I better not catch him repeating the same trick he tried a month ago!"  
  
You don't even want to know.


	2. Snake in the Grass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for your hits and kudos and comments!!! just because i'm anxious about replying doesn't mean i don't read them btw. i'm just bad at interacting with people. thank you so much for reading this excuse of a fic
> 
> i hope you continue to keep up with this story, and though sometimes a while might pass without a chapter i won't abandon this until it's done. that much i promise you. 
> 
> anyway!! the new ep of camp camp was fucking amazing as always. QM is quickly rising in my list of fave characters. and seeing inside his store was helpful af with this chapter. i had the idea in the shower this morning and then watching the episode rlly helped out on some details. 
> 
> probably boring u now imma shut up. thanks for reading!
> 
> (sidenote: this chapter delves deeper into how reader thinks and her issues. sorry if it gets a little too close to home and i feel u should be warned once again that reader is not a happy person.)

The day begins at seven in the morning. Being new to the camp and it's schedule, you're allowed to get up later than your co-workers. David's up at six on the dot, and you're pretty sure Gwen never leaves it later than six-thirty. If they aren't up already, the kids get woken up half an hour after you. Which is why it's rare for you to do things like the breakfast shift of watching them and making sure they don't revolt.  
  
Which explains yesterday's disaster.  
  
Gwen spoke to you later on in the day, and without any sense of subtlety told you it was better if you never took the shift again. You weren't gonna argue that. She wasn't being rude, you just got the sense if she had to deal with Nikki on caffeine again she might actually shoot up the camp or something. You really hope that Quartermaster doesn't keep guns around.  
  
But seven is still way earlier than you're used to. You've only been here a week, but the lack of sleep is already getting to you. It really doesn't help you have insomnia and, you suspect, some sort of circadian rhythm disorder. Not that you've managed to get any help for that. Three cheers for living in an ignorant backwater town for most of your life!

It's only been fifteen minutes since you got up, and already you kinda wanna die. Nothing new, of course, but it would be nice to go one day without wishing for death. You can only dream.  
  
You turn the taps of the shower on, and whilst waiting for the water to heat up, strip down to your birthday suit. You wanna finish this as quickly as possible, because in about ten minutes some of the early riser campers will be here. You don't wanna have to deal with butt-naked children. No thank you sir. They can handle themselves in that area.  
  
You get the feeling despite the bathrooms being split between sexes, if some of the boys caught wind of you being in here, they'd abandon any sense of decency in their tiny little brains and attempt to spy on you. For blackmail if nothing else. You're pretty sure Max has a camera somewhere around the camp. And it's not in his tent, you've looked. You're starting to get paranoid. You sometimes hear a click and whip around so fast you snap your neck. The last time it happened, it had just been Harrison showing off a new trick where he tapped his wand to a table and made something appear. Pretty sure you scared the shit out of the kid with how you'd looked at him.  
  
Washing your hair is an ordeal. The humidity of this goddamn place doesn't help. You rest your head against the cool tile of the shower wall for a moment, just taking a breather. You let yourself relax for the first time in a while, trying to calm yourself. Nothing bad will happen. It'll all be fine. You're safe. There's a snake on the floor.  
  
**THERE'S A FUCKING SNAKE ON THE FLOOR.**  
  
Out of reflex, you grab the fucker by the neck. Can't bite you if it can't turn. Now what. NOW WHAT?!  
  
It's green and not too big and you have no fucking clue what kind it is. Venomous? Constrictor? Fuckfuckfuck this is badthis is so, _so_ bad! What the fuck do you do?!  
  
You throw it.  
  
It seems like such a good idea. You toss the snake over the top of the curtain. Well, toss is a bit of a delicate sounding word.  
  
You hurl that bitch like a football and hope for the best.  
  
There's a thud as it hits the wall. Oh God. You didn't think this through. What if it just slithers back into your cubicle?!   
  
Every swear word in the world comes into your mind as you quickly wrap a towel around yourself, and run for the fucking door. You burst out, not caring if any of the kids see this because Jesus fuck you are **not** getting bit by that motherfucker!  
  
And then it happens. The click. And you know—you just  _know_ _—_ that this was all him. That piece of shit child did this. You don't know how, but he did it.  
  
You turn your head around as slowly as humanly possible, and there he is. Camera in hand, smirk on face.  
  
The son of Satan himself. Or, as he is more commonly called, Max.  
  
"Did the water go cold or something? You seem awfully freaked out."  
  
It's like he wants you to shove your foot up his ass. You certainly want to.  
  
"Max." You growl out. "Delete it. Delete it  ** _now_**."  
  
He shoves the camera into the pocket of his hoodie, and tilts his head questioningly.  
  
"Delete what?"  
  
You're gonna kick his shit in if he starts testing you now.   
  
"Holy fuck."  
  
Your head turns to the new noise before you even register what's happening, and  _oh for fuck's sake_.  
  
Those who have decided to take a shower have turned up. Great. Just. Great.  
  
You're pretty sure it was Neil who spoke, as he is now looking away, hands covering his eyes. Thank God one of them is a normal-ish kid.  
  
You pull your towel tight around yourself, and stand as straight as possible.  
  
Before you can even attempt to speak, David pops in out of nowhere. Because the day had to find a way to get worse.  
  
"O-Oh my!" His voice enters a higher pitch than usual, face redder than a strawberry. "Dear co-counsellor, m-may I ask why you are undressed in front of the children?"  
  
"Please don't say it like that David. The only reason I'm out here is become  _someone_ put a snake in the fucking bathroom."  
  
"A snake?!" His demeanour changes in an instant, and he pushes through the kids. "I'll go deal with this emergency immediately!"  
  
He disappears into the bathroom, and you start to back away from the kids. You're not turning around, because this towel is awfully small and you're not certain it covers all of the required areas.  
  
Well, one thing's for certain.  
  
You are going to **end**  Max.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
As you find out later, you threw the snake so hard, you killed it.  
  
Oh, don't worry, it gets worse. The snake was Quartermaster's pet. When he comes back and finds out his pet is dead, you are almost certain he's going to skin you alive.  
  
So, yeah, you're doing pretty great.  
  
Max has managed to hide that camera and you are fucking fuming. You are  _this_ close to fucking threatening him. You just need to figure out what to threaten him with. Maybe you could say you'll get David to sing him to sleep every night. Tell him that poor widdle Maxie has been having nightmares and needs comforting.  
  
That seems like a good idea. If you want to get David put in the hospital. You're pretty sure Max would smash his own guitar against his head. Ugh, you can't get David wrapped up in this. Not his fault.   
  
"Hello my dear friend!" Speak of the devil. "You'll be glad to know I had a talk with Max about his actions, and he seemed to understand what he did was wrong!"  
  
"So, what's his punishment?"  
  
David blinks, smile twitching slightly.  
  
"You... you are gonna punish him, right?"  
  
His smile falls.  
  
"Oh Jesus Christ. You can't just give him a talk and let him get away with it! That snake could've been venomous for all he knew! It could've fucking killed me, David!"  
  
"Max has assured me that he knew the snake was non-venomous and wouldn't have been able to kill you!"  
  
Okay, maybe you could get him wrapped up in this.  
  
"David. Even if it wasn't venomous, I could have been seriously hurt. What if, in my panic, I slipped and hit my head and went into a fucking coma? Would you just give him 'a talk' then?!"  
  
The smile is fully gone, and David looks rather sad. No, you are  _not_ feeling fucking guilty for wanting that little shit punished. He deserves it.   
  
"I-"  
  
"Let me stop you there,  **Davey**." You snap. "You don't even know the full extent of why Max did what he did. He took a picture of me in that fucking towel, I assume to use as blackmail against me when I attempt to make him do something he doesn't want to. The kid is a smart bastard, I'll give him that. He put my health in danger all for a little blackmail material. You can't seriously just let him off with a talk."  
  
"He... He did that?" The guy looks so downtrodden and upset, your stomach starts feeling weird again. Ugh, fucking empathy. "I really thought he was over this sort of thing."  
  
"Well, obviously not."  
  
He grimaces. That might have come out a little too harsh.  
  
"I'll... I'll make sure to find the camera." He promises.  
  
David is nothing if not sincere, so it placates you a little. But you still want Max punished, and say as much.  
  
"Well. I suppose the bathrooms could use a little scrubbing up. Okay!" He claps his hands together. "Every night, after dinner, he'll have to clean the toilets! For one whole week!"  
  
You glare.  
  
"Two whole weeks!"  
  
That's better. You nod in agreement.  
  
"That's fine with me. I'll watch him to make sure he doesn't attempt anything. Oh, and when you get the camera, I want it. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first picture he's taken of me."  
  
David acquiesces to your demands pretty easily. No wonder this guy gets walked all over by the kids. You wouldn't call yourself an assertive person, but he really needs to learn not to back down.  
  
You are going to make Max's life a living hell for these two weeks. It's probably unhealthy to have this much of a grudge against a ten-year old, but you really don't fucking care at the moment. If the kid is going to act out like a teenager, then you're gonna treat him like you were treated.  
  
And you were treated like shit.  
  
But now, it's time for the last activity of the day. And oh boy, is it a **doozy**.  
  
One of Preston's beautiful, heart-wrenching plays. They're actually one of things you like about this hellhole of a camp. They're so awful, they actually cross the realm from bad to good. Plus, Preston's one of the only kids who you can stand to be around for more than an hour.  
  
Over the next two hours you are treated to an amazing rendition of King Lear.  
  
Nurf is the king himself, and this produces some striking results. When Cordelia (played by Nerris) proclaims that there is nothing to compare her love for her father to, Nurf takes it upon himself to ad-lib a couple of lines.  
  
"Wow. That's like, some rude shit right there. Couldn't you like, I don't know, just say you loved me more than the flowers love the the sun, like your sisters did? By saying that nothing could compare to your love for me, you're putting both your sisters down for doing so AND making me feel like I'm nothing. So, like, thanks. Oh and you get no kingdom or whatever. Nerd!" He flips her off.  
  
You are trying so hard not to laugh. This is a tragedy, it's tragic, oh  _god_ you are going to burst.  
  
You make it all the way to act three before it starts to overcome you. Coupled with the bad acting of the kids, and the writing of Preston, it's too much. You actually have to run away from the stage because you don't want to hurt Preston's feelings. You know you'd feel like shit if an adult started laughing at your uh... art.  
  
Okay, okay, calm down. It's not  _that_ funny. It's just that when the blinded Gloucester met his son upon the heath, he called Regan and Cornwall cunts. They did blind the shit out of him, so you guess it's deserved. But you're pretty sure that line was not Preston's. It almost makes you want to forgive Max. What brilliant, passionate acting.  
  
Nah. He's cleaning those fucking toilets.  
  
You miss act four, and act five gets shut down midway through because Nikki thought it would be a good idea to introduce a wolf to the beauty of theatre. You aren't sure how this camp hasn't been investigated by the police yet. It's real lucky that wolf only went for Space Kid, and couldn't breach his helmet.  
  
David took Nikki for one of his talks about responsibility and not bringing dangerous wild animals into the camp, whilst Gwen and you set to giving the kids dinner.   
  
You ask her when QM's expected back, but she just shrugs. You want to be out of the camp when he turns up. You don't fancy being worn like a dress.  
  
She does all the cooking, and in return you wash up. That's the only thing you refuse to do. You do not trust yourself around hot appliances. Breakfast is easy, put some cornflakes and pretty-old-but-still-edible fruit out and you're done. Lunch is usually just sandwiches and chips. Dinner, however, has to be cooked.  
  
You're pretty sure it's some sort of law that they have to have one warm meal a day.  
  
It's usually just something like burger patties (no buns, no budget for that) and some sort of carb? You think it's meant to be hash browns tonight, but you honestly can't tell. Thank fuck counsellors are allowed to buy their own shit to eat. You've got a nice, super-healthy microwave lasagna waiting for you in the fridge. Thank God that Gwen took pity on you and stocked up on them. You'll pay her back as soon you actually get paid.  
  
After dinner, it's time for fun. Watching Max's miserable little face as he scrubs the girl's bathroom.  
  
You're kinda sad he isn't forced to use a toothbrush, but you'll take what you can get it. You can practically feel the anger radiating off of him. You bask in it.  
  
"Oops." You press the tip of your boot to the lid of the toilet he just cleaned, leaving some mud on it. "Seems like you missed a spot."  
  
The look he gives you could destroy nations. But you've been through too much shit to be intimidated by some kid. You smile brightly at him, doing a wonderful impression of David.  
  
"You're doing great, Maxie!" You muss up his hair, and watch his eyes narrow even further. "Just two more to go!"  
  
He completes his job in silence. Maybe he fears reprisal. Maybe he's making a plan for revenge. Either way, you keep a shit-eating grin on your face the entire time.   
  
"Tomorrow, it's the boys toilets. And oh my, you guys are so messy! Bet you wish you'd been a little more respectful of camp property now, don'tcha?"  
  
His only response is to dump the brush into the bucket, and leave the bathroom.  
  
You hope David finds that camera before Max manages to escape to town and get any pictures of you developed or printed or whatever. You're pretty sure he'd post them any where he could.  
  
After putting the supplies away, you head for your cabin. You were a little surprised that each counsellor got their own, but apparently after a lawsuit over some sexual harassment thing when Cameron Campbell still ran the place, two extra cabins were built. What with only four counsellors being needed at one time, this meant everyone got their own. Which you are one hundred percent okay with. You're pretty sure Gwen snores. You don't need any help with not being able to sleep.  
  
The kids are told lights off at nine. Counsellors don't have a set bedtime per say, but you're pretty sure David would get worried if you stayed up past like half-ten. You do not want him bursting into your cabin when you're wallowing in sadness and self-pity. Also, you sleep in just underwear and a shirt, and you **really** don't want him to see that either.  
  
You go make your dinner in the mess hall, eating alone as both your co-workers had theirs whilst you were with Max. And you figure they probably don't want to eat with someone who makes little to no attempt at conversation with them.  
  
Ugh. There it goes again. That little dick called social anxiety. Trying to convince you everyone is out to get you and/or they think you're mean and rude. It's probably right, but you're too tired to deal with this shit right now.  
  
You spend the rest of the evening panicking about Max. Which is worse. Did you go too far?! You probably did. God, David must think you're so fucking weird to be that angry at a kid. And Jesus, what does that boy have in mind for revenge? You have no doubts he will exact it upon you eventually. Paranoia has taken anxiety's place which is greeeeeat.  
  
And then just when you're drifting off to sleep, depression comes in. Reminds you of how awful and terrible the world is and how you should just leave it. By dying. Which is, y'know,  _fun_.   
  
You're used to this whole act by now, but it doesn't ever seem to get easier to deal with. More like you grow distant and apathetic. And then have to force yourself to try and be okay, which then adds to the anxiety that people are gonna see through you and then you get paranoid that they'll ask about it and then depression comes to remind you that they don't care about you at all and the entire universe thinks you're a piece of shit.  
  
Ah, good times.  
  
Tomorrow won't be better.


	3. David and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Co-Worker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i meant for this to be out earlier but then shit happened. i got lost whilst at my friends new home since its in a city im unfamiliar which was a Fun Time. and then i got, as nikki would delicately put it, 'lady sickness'. so it's been an eventful week all in all.
> 
> more david interaction this chapter!! which is very fun to write. and i know ur not all here for my sub-par writing style and lack of a proper schedule. this one's a bit longer to compensate for lateness.
> 
> once again, thank you for all ur kudos and comments and just anyone that reads it tbh. just because i dont reply doesnt mean i dont appreciate im just extremely socially awkward and afraid ill come across wrong if i try to put my gratitude into words. which is probably what's happening now. imma shut up.
> 
> enjoy!!!!
> 
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO TITLE IT ORIGINALLY IM CRYING. JESUS CHRIST I SUCK

Max hasn't spoken a single word to you all week.  
  
It's getting under your skin. He's even stopped glaring. He doesn't deign to look at you any more.  
  
Even Nikki and Neil said he's more subdued. You asked the both of them if he had mentioned any sort of way to get revenge against you. You're pretty sure Neil would sell him out if you pushed hard enough, and Nikki's a complete chaotic neutral. She'd definitely tell you if you bribed her with candy or something.  
  
But no. Nothing. Radio silence. No plans or plots or schemes. Just... nothing. They both seem weirded out by it.  
  
You are beyond weirded out. You area full-blown paranoid mess.  
  
You'd think David having found his camera would be a good thing. But he found it  _inside your cabin_.  
  
Trying to figure out how Max got inside is driving you up the wall. Did you just forget to lock it one day? Or can he pick them somehow? Maybe there a third person involved? He would definitely bribe one of the other kids to get it in somehow. Kid's got no morals.  
  
Well, you would too. But still. He's a little shit.  
  
He's smart and it makes you so incredibly anxious that you might actually throw up. He knew you'd never search your cabin for it. It's like he can sense your weak points.  
  
So now your fear of him has increased tenfold and you hate having to supervise his punishment. Even though you asked for it. Literally. This is exactly what he wants and the rational part of your brain knows it. But the rest of it is screaming  **THAT BOY IS UP TO SOME SHIT FIND OUT WHAT IT IS _NOW_**.  
  
You are more inclined to listen to the louder side. You've been checking behind doors, in closets, under your bed, under _his_ bed and one time in his hair. Can't be too safe.   
  
Your co-workers respectfully disagree.  
  
"You can't keep on going like this." Gwen sighs, watching you pace across the main cabin. "It's gonna kill you from the inside you know."  
  
"There must be something I'm missing." You murmur, ignoring her completely. "Maybe I should start checking his mail..."  
  
"I feel like that's crossing a line." She says, looking away to try and keep up with whatever she's watching.  
  
"What if he's sewn hidden pockets into his hoodie? My God. He absolutely has. I'm taking that fucking hoodie first thing tomorrow."  
  
"Oh good grief." She rests a hand on her forehead. "If this wasn't so tragic it'd make for a good show."  
  
David bursts in, and looks surprised to see the both of you. You think he sometimes forgets that his cabin is also the main cabin and therefore has the only TV and mini fridge. Lucky bastard. You guess he is in charge though.  
  
You stop your movements to look at him for a second, then go back to the task at hand. Figuring out what the fuck Max has got in store for you.  
  
He sidles up to Gwen, careful not to interrupt you.  
  
"How long has she..." He gestures to your frantic pacing "Been like this?"  
  
"Twenty minutes." She flicks through the channels, apparently bored by the lack of drama in the last show.  
  
David gulps. "That's... not good."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Does she still think Max is out to destroy her life?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Has she eaten?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
He lets out a frustrated sigh.   
  
Cautiously, he moves towards you, and brings a hand to your shoulder. You snap back into reality from the sudden touch, and flinch away.  
  
"Ah, uh, huh?" Yep. Those were definitely words. Strung together in a sentence. Not the incoherent mumbles of a madwoman.  
  
"Hey, um, friend?" His words are soft. Gentle. Soothing, even. Or meant to be at least.  
  
In your fucked-up mind, they sound vaguely sarcastic.  
  
"What is it?" You respond, already tired of the conversation.  
  
"Well, you see, it's just... Gwen and I have noticed-"  
  
"Leave me outta this." She interrupts.  
  
" **I** have noticed that you appear to be neglecting your health. As well as some of your duties." He smiles, and it's awkward. Forced. It's so different from usual, your brain decides to calm down a little.  
  
"Right. Yeah, uh huh." An attempt of a sentence made, you nod your head.  
  
"Uh..." He panics, obviously expecting more of a response. "W-Well, it's not good! You could get sick! And I wouldn't want that to happen to my favourite-" He glances at Gwen, who is staring at him, an eyebrow raised in interest. "new co-worker!"  
  
You snort. "I'm your  **only** new co-worker. Well, the only one still around anyway." You've heard tales of Daniel from the kids. David maintains he was just a nice fella who had a few habits which were 'out of the ordinary'. The kids all say he was a cultist who brainwashed and tried to kill them.  
  
You believe the kids on this one.  
  
"Yes, but, that doesn't mean it isn't true! You've been a great help to Camp Campbell, and I would hate to see you become unable to work." The smile is less fake this time, and fuck, you hate his sincerity.  
  
You'd hate that too. Mostly because you'd probably get sent home. Once again, you refuse to disappoint your parents. They would not be happy if they found out you'd been fired because you got too caught up in your own head to work. As they put it 'daydreaming'. Like it was fun, instead of being an uncontrollable nightmare.  
  
You take a few breaths to try and still your mind.  
  
"Okay. Thank you David. I will... try to do better." Your smile is like your current mental state. Fragile, and if questioned about itself it will break into a million tiny pieces.  
  
He tentatively rests a hand on your shoulder, beaming all the while. You stop yourself from flinching this time. It's just David.   
  
"That's all I need to hear! Now, go eat dinner and get some sleep!" Suddenly realising he's treating you like a kid again, he becomes flustered. "Uh, please?"  
  
You allow yourself to chuckle. At least he's trying.  
  
"Yeah okay. Night, David. You too Gwen."  
  
You leave the cabin, and head for your own.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
"Well, that was interesting." Gwen says, a few moments after you disappear out the door.  
  
"Huh?"   
  
"I tried to talk her out of it for about ten minutes." She turns off the TV and stands up. "Then you waltz in, say about three sentences, and ta-da!" She makes a flourish. "Like magic."  
  
David laughs and shakes his head.  
  
"I didn't really do anything! You probably got through to her and I just... finished it up? Like when you ask someone for help with a lid and you've already loosened it!"  
  
"Yeah, sure." Gwen rolls her eyes. "She seemed to  _totally_ understand me through all the babbling."  
  
He scratches his cheek. "Well, maybe she just tired herself out?"  
  
"Maybe." The tanned woman says, still unconvinced. She's got a more plausible (and TV-worthy) theory in mind. Is it weird to ship your co-workers? Probably not, right? Loads of people must do it.  
  
David gives her a confused look. He's as oblivious as ever.  
  
"I'm going to my room." She announces, and strides out the door. She's definitely **not**  going to post about this on some forum.  
  
"Uh, goodnight!" He calls after her, still thoroughly befuddled.   
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Shit. You've been lying in bed for about an hour now, and are no closer to sleep than you were in David's cabin.   
  
You're trying so hard to keep your mind off of Max and whatever he could be planning. But it's difficult. The best you can do is try to block out the noise.   
  
You can't sleep with earphones in so there's no point in literally trying to do that. So you settle for the second best solution.  
  
You open up Tinder. Playing a game would just be distracting and you'd get too into it, and you haven't checked the site since you left college. Oh, no,  **do not** think about college. Nope. Not the time for that.  
  
You scroll through your previous matches. Nothing. Not a single message. Unsurprising, and yet you're still disappointed. Luckily you weren't actually serious with any of them, but it stings a little to see none of them care about you dropping off the face of the earth.  
  
For fun, you start searching for people in your area. You're pretty sure it's unlikely anyone around your age range will be listed on there. In fact, you're fairly certain that only Gwen and-  
  
Oh. Sweet. Jesus.  
  
David has a Tinder profile.  
  
This is possibly the greatest/worst thing you've ever discovered.  
  
But. You can't look. You shouldn't. It's a breach of privacy and probably work ethics.  
  
Eh, fuck it.  
  
His interests are numerous, to say the least. And varied. Huh, in fact, a lot of these seem familiar to the camp activities.  
  
Weird.  
  
Ohohoho. He's got seven pics. SEVEN. Man. That's... actually kinda cute? Slash desperate?  
  
Although—knowing David—he's probably on Tinder just to make friends. You wouldn't put it past him.  
  
Not a single shirtless pic either. Not that you were looking. It's just strange to see a profile that doesn't have at least one. All his pictures are of him in his counsellor uniform. Oh, wait, you stand corrected! He has one of him in normal clothes. If pajamas count as normal clothes.  
  
He wears matching pajamas. A fact you hadn't known, until a few seconds ago. They look hot. And you mean hot as in like, the temperature not the complimentary adjective. How the fuck does he sleep in those things? You can't even manage pants, and he's rocking a stylish striped pajama look.  
  
And not only have you now seen him in PJ's, but you also know his age! He's only four years older than you. Which is kind of annoying, considering how he sometimes treats you like one of the campers. You guess it's because you're not twenty one yet and so technically still not a 'legal adult' in some areas. Or maybe you look young, you don't know. You wish he'd stop it though.  
  
For all your moaning, you do like David. He's nice, if occasionally overbearing. His optimism can be infuriating and inspiring in equal measure. Mostly, you like the fact he doesn't give up. He's not like you. He's determined. He sees things through to the end. Even if it comes back to bit him in the ass.  
  
You bet he made it through college. You know Gwen did. Even if her degrees haven't really helped her.  
  
Ugh. You said you weren't gonna think about college, but here you are. Your greatest failure in your mind. And now, all the paranoia of Max's schemes has been replaced with self-hatred and depression. You never finish anything. You drop out. You're useless. You-  
  
You need to get some sleep.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
What the ever-loving shit has that idiot done now.  
  
You're currently standing on a platform built out of a tree on the edge of the forest, looking at a zip wire that leads down to the lakeside.  
  
You are, without a doubt, one hundred percent certain that this whole thing did not exist yesterday.  
  
How the fuck did he set up a zip line in a day? Did the Quartermaster do it? Is he finally back, ready to skin you alive?  
  
You and David are looking after the kids who decided to stick around after seeing what awaited them. Gwen took those that absolutely refused to get involved. She lucked out. Got Neil, Nerris, Harrison and Dolph. The latter had wanted to do it, but you think he's too small or something.  
  
Nikki loves it. Of course she does. She's crazy. Space Kid is ready to achieve flight at long last. The rest seem lest enthusiastic, but don't want to go make macaroni art with the others.  
  
Max is the one that worries you. You have no idea why he decided to stay, given how he's usually so ready to get out of this kind of thing. You suspect it's because you're here. Maybe he's going to try and kill you somehow.  
  
Which is why you really don't want to go down that death-trap wire.   
  
David has already demonstrated it's 'safeness' himself. But he seems more athletic than you. You're really not sure about this.  
  
"It's fine!" He yells up, trying to coax you. "You'll be fine!"  
  
You are so not going to be fine. You hate this place. You hate this job. But right now, most of all, you hate David.  
  
He'd insisted that as the counsellors you two should show the children they had nothing to fear. Not that any of them did. Since the ones who did, were gone. You honestly questioned his logic most of the time.  
  
You mutter his words in a mocking way, holding onto the harness that is 'supporting' you right now. It does not feel supportive. At all.  
  
You don't even get a helmet. All of them are too small for your head. You are coming away from this experience with some sort of brain damage, of that you're certain.  
  
"Hey, lady!" Nikki screeches. "Some of us want a go sometime today!"  
  
"Shut up!" You snap back, not in the mood to be tested. "I'm almost ready, okay?!"  
  
"Just jump already!" Shouts Nurf. "Even if you like, fall and die, it'll give the rest of us a show!"  
  
Fucking kids. Fine.  
  
You don't exactly 'jump' off the platform. It's more of a controlled fall. Oh God. You are going quite fast.  
  
It's not a long way or even very high up, but that's not reassuring at all. You have to make sure you don't hit the post the end of the line is attached to. That's assuming the wire doesn't up and snap or some shit.  
  
But you end up squeezing your eyes shut. Shit. This is not fun. How anyone could call this fun is beyond you. You are ready to die.  
  
Any moment now.  
  
Hm. You're pretty sure you should've hit that post by this point. And why aren't you moving?  
  
You crack open an eye, and David is really close to your face. It catches you off-guard, and you instinctively push yourself backwards. Which gets you tangled up in the harness.  
  
Well. It would seem David 'caught' you. So to speak. He caught the wire of the harness. He seems to have been prepared that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself, as he's wearing gloves.  
  
You mumble out an embarrassed thanks as the both of you attempt to disentangle your body from the harness.  
  
You're free for approximately four seconds before you trip up and hit your head on a rock. Jesus fucking Christ.  
  
It hurts. A lot. You feel dizzy. Even dizzier than before.  
  
"Oh my goodness gracious!" David rushes to your side. "My dear co-counsellor, can you hear me?! Are you okay?!"  
  
Obviously fucking not. But you don't say that.  
  
"I'm f-fine." You stutter out, weakly. You try to push yourself up, and he gently aids you. Your head is pounding. You are definitely not fine in any way.  
  
"You're bleeding! Oh dear me!"  
  
The campers seem to either find your predicament funny or distressing, from what you can hear. Or you think you can hear. Your ears are ringing.  
  
"I-I'm ok-k-kaaay." You slur out, opening your eyes. Your vision is kinda blurry, and attempting to make sense of everything is hurting your head even more.  
  
"Um, children! Go to the mess hall with Gwen immediately!" David commands.   
  
You think they follow his orders, and you're also pretty sure Nikki whines about you 'ruining' the zip wire. You reach a hand to your forehead on instinct, and feel the area that seems to hurt the most. Well. You are most definitely bleeding.  
  
David pulls your hand away, and urges you not to touch your wound for fear of infection. He helps you to your feet, and pretty much carries all your weight as you both head for his cabin. That's where the first aid supplies are.  
  
Plus, it's the cleanest place in the camp. All minor injuries are treated there.  
  
"Okay, now, if you can just sit here on this table for me..." His voice is fuzzy, but you follow his instructions as best you can.  
  
"Great, that's great, you're doing so well!" He praises.  
  
You hear him moving about, and your eyes try to follow his movements. Your vision is a lot clearer now but the splitting headache you have is making it hard to concentrate. You hear running water, and figure he's cleaning his hands. Makes sense.  
  
After what you think is around a minute passes, he's back in front of you.  
  
"Friend?" He says, and he sounds nervous. "This... I need to disinfect the wound, so this may hurt a little."  
  
"Heh..." You chuckle softly. "F-Funny. Already hurts..."  
  
He brings a wet gauze pad up to your head, and dabs it. Fuck. You really didn't think it could hurt any more.  
  
You bite your lip, in an attempt to distract from the pain. It's futile because you're pretty sure you're already tearing up. Shit. Embarrassing.  
  
"You're doing well!" He repeats, though you're unsure if he's talking to you or himself at this point.  
  
You hiss in pain as he presses a little  _too_ hard, and he apologises instantly.  
  
After thoroughly cleaning the wound, he dries the area with a paper towel. Your mind is starting to get less foggy at this point, and you notice he seems less anxious than before. It must not be as bad as it feels. 'Cause it feels like you just cracked your skull open, buuuut that could also be your mind dramaticizing it. You don't think you've ever hit your head like this before. First time for everything.  
  
David applies a plaster to your forehead. He then smiles at you, but it quickly fades.  
  
"I'm... I'm sorry." He says. His voice is different from usual. More somber, and quiet. "This is my fault."  
  
That startles you so much you barely manage to say 'what' before he cuts you off.  
  
"I pushed you into doing the zip line. I got you hurt."  
  
"David..." You shake your head, then very quickly regret it. Shitting titties, that was a bad idea. "Th-This has nothing to do with you-"  
  
"I said it was safe!" He runs a hand through his hair, and it seems he can't even look at you.  
  
"It  **was** safe David." You counter. Even though you're pretty sure it wasn't at all. But you won't have him feeling guilty for this. "I tripped up after it was over, remember? It was my own stupid fault."  
  
He seems surprised you don't blame him. And even more surprised that you're crying. Not as surprised as you are though. It's not even from the pain.  
  
You couldn't get your worst fuck-up out of your mind last night. And now you fucked up again, and everything is just rushing to the surface. All your fuck-ups. And boy, are there a lot.  
  
"Oh, ah, er-" He panics, trying to find words. "Please don't cry! Does it still hurt that badly?! Did I do something wrong?!"  
  
You hastily wipe your eyes with your arm, making sure to keep from brushing up against your wound.  
  
"I-It's nothing. It's just..." Oh no you are NOT about to fucking reveal your bullshit emotions to him. No way. Nuh uh.   
  
David looks at you, concern obvious on his face.  
  
Fuck.  
  
"I guess it's just that I'm a piece of shit, Davey." You say, jokingly, hoping the statement loses some of it's harshness. "I always fuck up everything I do. Doesn't matter what it is."  
  
And you know you've gone too far already, because the look of concern worsens and you just want to take your words and shove them back down your throat.  
  
"I mean!" You start to verbally backspace. "It's just, y'know, there's nothing I'm really good at and this just proved that and I couldn't even do an activity right and I ruined it for the kids and-"  
  
The shock of his hand touching yours shuts you up. You don't think you've had this much intimate contact with anyone since eighth grade.  
  
"Do you... Do you really feel like that about yourself?"  
  
Now you've done it. Now you've fucked up. He's never gonna look at you like a normal sane person ever again.  
  
"Yeah. I do. Because it's true." Hey, he already knows you're a fucking weirdo, why not go the whole hog? "I'm a worthless piece of shit who can't do anything. God, I couldn't even stay in college for more than a year!" You laugh, though it's completely devoid of any humour. "Tragic, right? Should've been easy. But I still fucked it up."  
  
He is... Boy is he close. It's making you uncomfortable, and not in the lovey-dovey crush way. Just plain uncomfortable.  
  
And then he goes and ruins it all.  
  
"Well I think you're pretty great."  
  
There is nothing except sincerity in his tone, his words, his eyes. He's not mocking you. He means it.  
  
He always does.  
  
"I think you're perfect just as you are."  
  
And that's when you feel your heart do something it hasn't done since eighth grade. Since Johnny Fritzman and his stupid dreamy eyes.  
  
It skips a beat.  
  
And not in the terrified way. Not that you aren't terrified by this new development. You are. You are so terrified.  
  
You've said it before, but you hate his sincerity.  
  
"Uh..." You fumble for words. "Wh-What uh... thank... you?"  
  
He pulls back, hand leaving yours, and chuckles nervously.  
  
"I guess that was a little too familiar, huh?" He looks at you, a small smile on his lips. "But for what it's worth, it's true!"  
  
This fucking man.  
  
If you weren't so stunned, you'd be blushing. Hard. Your heart keeps thudding against your ribs. Trying to beat it's way out of your chest. You swallow, unsure of how to proceed. You can't be feeling anything. You  _can't_. You don't-  
  
"You should take the rest of the day off. Lie down, and take a nap." He's dealing with the supplies he just used on you. "Gwen and I can handle the kids."  
  
"Y-Yeah. Okay." You don't know how else to respond.  
  
David turns back to you, looking over your wound once more, before nodding to himself.  
  
"Can you walk?"  
  
You try, and succeed. Which is good. Because if he had to hold your weight like earlier, you're pretty sure you'd pass out or something.  
  
"I'm going to... go to my cabin."  
  
"Of course. I'll come by and check on you later!"   
  
_Thud_.   
  
Fuck. Every sentence he says that could be interpreted as anything but friendly is now going to have that effect on you. Great. Marvellous. Fucking brilliant.  
  
Head still hurting, heart still thumping, you make your way to your cabin as quickly as is possible.  
  
So quickly, in fact, that you fail to spot the familiar black curly hair of a certain camper poking out from behind a nearby tree.


	4. Here Comes the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO YO YO HOW ITS GOING R U READY TO FUCKING PARTY?! 
> 
> honestly i'm sorry for the long absence i sincerely meant to have this out earlier but life has been a real dick to me lately. updates may be more sporadic from now on just so u know.
> 
> man i loved the last 3 eps of the show btw. i kinda predicted max being a little shit who tries to blackmail people??? who knew. also davey and bonquisha is fucking amazing. it was good to see a little of what he's like in a relationship.
> 
> so this chapter goes dark again about feelings and shit. also srry if u dont like reader being a defined character but idk how to write a character with no history so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. what can u do. as always, thanks to everyone who comments and leaves a kudos or even just reads this shite cause m8. i didnt expect so many ppl to be here.
> 
> anyways, enough rambling, hope you enjoy the chapter!!

Oh Dear God. What are you going to do? You said all that embarrassing shit to David and now he knows you're a fucking freak who's messed up and he's gonna look at you weirdly forever. Not to mention that shit to do with your heart and the skipping of a beat and why this.

You do not like him. Well, no, you like him. But not like, like-like him. Jesus, what are you, ten? Like-like? You can't even begin to wrap your head around everything and it's six in the morning and you haven't slept. Every bad thing that could possibly happen today is running through your mind. You feel sick. You could ask for the day off, they'd probably buy it given what happened yesterday. Ugh, but then what if David tries to get you to go to the hospital or something? Or comes to check up on you?

You had a hard enough time with him last night. Had to rush through the entire encounter to make sure he didn't realise he was leaving you breathless. That sounds so fucking sappy. You're cringing at your own thoughts. But it's the truth. You almost passed out from the conflicting emotions that were battling it out inside you.

So, to recap. You're running on zero hours of sleep, your head still hurts, your heart is being stupid and you admitted you hate yourself to one of your co-workers. Great. Today is gonna be a Bad Time.

No point dawdling. You get up and ready, forgoing a shower because honestly who needs self-care when you just wanna fucking die. You check your phone and notice you've got a message from your mom. Oh, fuck that noise. Enough shit is happening already you are not about to get family problems involved.

Dealing with David is gonna be the biggest item on the agenda. You've decided to simply ignore him unless you have absolutely no other choice. That's an adult way to go about this. Definitely. No way in hell could this backfire at all. You really hope he didn't tell Gwen. You doubt he would, but then again, if he was really worried about you he might think her degree in psychology could help. It's almost funny. You tried to see a therapist for so long but the thought of talking to anyone about anything to do with yourself makes you so stressed you're one hundred percent certain you'd rather lick the toilets in this camp clean.

You step out of your cabin and into the startling bright sunlight. It makes everything so much worse. Every part of you hurts from the lack of sleep you've had lately. Tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back. But you push on. Because it's always better to just force every problem you have down to the bottom of your soul.

When you make it to the mess hall, a couple of the kids are up already. Breakfast isn't served until seven, so they're occupying themselves with other things. Dolph is drawing something, Preston is reciting lines to a fake skull and you spotted Nerris outside playing D&D with two stuffed animals. The one that catches your eye is Max. You almost forgot about him. He's still planning something, you're sure of it. But finding out what it is has been pushed down the list of priorities.

He looks up at you. You expect the same blank stare you've been getting for a week, but no. Oh no.

He smirks.

The little fucking shit. Smirks.

And BOOM. That bitch is back at the top of your list of priorities. He's done it. He's got a plan for revenge. Your stomach twists and turns and fuck you're gonna throw up.

You calmly turn around, walk back outside and make your way towards the toilets. You haven't even eaten much lately so exactly what's gonna come out is a mystery to you. The thought of Max's plan—whatever it is—swirls around inside every part of your being and makes you want to die even more than you already did.

And then your day isn't bad enough, so of course you run into him.

Evidently, the both of you are too busy thinking about something else to notice each other before you bump into each other. It startles you so much you temporarily forgot you're about to be sick.

Then you look up and see his face. And it all comes rushing back in an instant.

It takes all you have not to vomit right onto his shoes. You break out into a sweat, and freeze up. Do something, oh God, do anything just don't stand there like fucking—

"Friend?"

Your heart starts beating rapidly and the sweating gets worse.

"Are you okay? You look pale..." He says, concern in every word. God fucking damn him. Why's he gotta be so nice and worried and shit? Can't he just be an apathetic asshole like everyone else?

"F-Fine." You manage. And then bolt. Because that's a thing normal people do.

You're about to mess up the fine job Max did cleaning those bowls.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Okay. So. You're at least ninety percent sure that no one's gonna know what just happened. If David asks you can just tell him you needed to piss real bad or something. Yeah, 'cause it's totally plausible you'll be able to say that to him without dying inside.

Lucky for you, when you make it back to the mess hall, he's apparently too busy trying to stop Nurf from giving Neil a mega-wedgie. You don't know what that is, and you don't care to look into it. You sneak into the kitchen, and make yourself up a bowl of cereal. Anything to get the taste out of your mouth.

"Well, well, well." For fuck's sake. "What have we here?"

You pause mid-spoonful, and hold back from shoving his head into an oven. Son of Satan has arrived, and is no doubt ready to strike you with his master plan. You don't bother turning around to look at him.

You swallow your current mouthful of food, and ask him what he wants. You sound tired and defeated, because honestly you are. You just want this shit to be over.

"Want?" He says, mock innocence lacing his voice. "Why would I want anything? Am I not allowed to talk to you without wanting something?"

"Cut the shit Max." You sigh, placing the bowl onto one of the counters, and resting against it. "Just get to the point."

You hear him shuffle around, and chuckle a little.

"Point? I don't know what you're talking about, sunshine."

Your blood runs cold.

No. No no no no.

He can't— How does he? No, it's impossible. Fucking impossible.

Dread fills the pit in your stomach left behind from earlier.

"W... Wh-What?"

You can practically hear the grin in his voice when he next talks.

"Oh, it's just my little nickname for you. I think it fits. You're just all sunshine and rainbows, y'know?"

You feel numb. This cannot be happening. No, no this can't turn into high school again it can't.

You can't be bullied by a kid half your fucking age.  
  
Slowly, you turn around, still resting against the counter. You lock eyes with the little fucker.  
  
"That—"  
  
"See, I couldn't help but overhear you and Davey last night, sunshine."  
  
Your heart stops. The face you make must be incredible, because his shit-eating grin widens.  
  
"Such an optimistic ball of sunshine, aren't you?"  
  
He couldn't possibly know, It's impossible. Your eyes burn as you hold back tears. Not again. Not in front of this fucking kid who has no idea what kind of shit he's bringing up.  _He's ten_. You tell yourself.  _Ten. He can't understand_ _._  
  
"Well, I'll be seeing you, sunshine." He does the salute of the camp, and you can only watch as he strides out the kitchen. As soon as he's gone, your head spins and your heart comes back to life. It beats so fast and not the in the same way as when you see David. It hurts, everything  **hurts**. It's not possible for him to know, but your mind searches for the possibility that he somehow found out about high school. Older sibling maybe?  
  
But the truth is, whether he knows or not doesn't matter. Everything is making you remember the worst years of your life. You sink back against the counter, lowering yourself to the floor. Your legs won't hold you up any longer. You can only hope no one comes in whilst you're like this. Helpless. Vulnerable.  
  
Still, you refuse to cry. You force yourself to go numb. That's absolutely the healthiest way to deal with this. Forcing yourself to disassociate from it all. Go about life like everything's normal and fine and cool.  
  
You breath in and out. Deep gulps of air, to make you light-headed. You distance yourself from everything. Just get through the day, just get through it. You know if you don't do this you're going to run back home and then what'll happen? You can imagine the faces of your parents. And you'll have to go to those fucking parties with all your distant relatives and they'll all ask if you've gotten a job yet. As if your entire worth is defined by whether or not you are working and bringing in money. And you'll have to fumble through an explanation as to why you left this on without revealing that you're fucked up and desperately need help.  
  
No one would understand. They never have before.  
  
And that's how you get through the rest of the day.   
  
Gwen came into the kitchen shortly afterwards, and you managed to bullshit your way into doing the first activity of the day with her and her alone. You can keep up the facade around her much more easily. She doesn't ask questions, she doesn't poke and prod. But even she seemed to notice something off about your whole demeanour. The kids too. You were much less easy-going that usual. You didn't joke around with them, you didn't humour Nerris and Harrison's attempts to debate about magic. You told them to give up their silly little feud, and get along for once.  
  
And now it's dinner time. For the kids at least. You're alone, sitting on a bench that's by the shore of Lake Lilac. It's a beautiful day. The sun is setting, causing the water to shimmer softly. If only you were mentally well and able to enjoy such a nice view. You just feel... empty. The side effect of the little trick you pulled earlier. It isn't so easy to just make it go away. If everything comes rushing back at once, you might break down. This isn't your first rodeo.  
  
You stretch your arms up, and then groan in regret. Your emotions may be dulled, but your body still feels the impact of working on so little sleep. Fortunately, you weren't made to participate in anything too athletic. David said it'd be too much of a risk in your condition, and he didn't want a repeat of yesterday. You think he still feels somewhat guilty.   
  
Honestly, you thought he would call out your weird behaviour, but he didn't even seem to notice it really. Or if he did, he kept it to himself. Maybe he's oblivious. He did somehow manage to hire a cultist without noticing.  
  
A sigh escapes you. It's bad to think about him. It's gonna bring you back to reality too soon. You can deal with this shit tomorrow, it's Saturday. No camp activities. You'll be less busy. You might even manage to weasel a trip into town. You know Gwen plans to go in to pick up some extra equipment for the camp. It's hardly NYC but God you'd be thankful to get away from the woods. Even if it's just a couple of hours.  
  
A shadow falls over the ground you're currently staring at, and you raise your head to look who's come to bother you.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Huh. You really hate that 'speak of the devil and he will appear' saying. It's too real.   
  
"Hello, David." You keep your voice cool and your tone formal. Remember he is technically your boss. Since Campbell refuses to run things.  
  
"Is uh... Is this seat taken?" He jokes, gesturing to the rest of the bench.  
  
"Not at the moment."  
  
He takes that as an invitation to sit beside you. You instinctively flinch away, putting a little bit more space between the two of you. You're grateful he doesn't seem offended by it.  
  
"The kids were pretty good today, weren't they?"  
  
"Mhm."  
  
"They probably don't want to get in trouble since tomorrow's Saturday. The one day they get without us breathing down their necks!" He's trying so hard.  
  
"Yup."  
  
He swallows, and it makes you think maybe you should start replying with more than sounds and affirmations.  
  
"Well... This sure is a lovely view!" He holds his hands out, and forms a rectangle with his thumbs and forefingers. "Really picturesque!"  
  
Time to make an attempt at seeming normal.  
  
"You could probably put it on a postcard." You add.  
  
Even though you're not looking at him, you can tell he smiles. The bastard is so proud that he's wearing down your walls.  
  
"Yeah, definitely!" He nods vigorously. Too vigorously for such a small comment. "They probably have those in the town, if you wanted to send one."  
  
You snort. "I'll pass."  
  
Fuck. That sounded more bitter than you meant. But it's not like you have anyone you want to send one too. You're pretty sure if you sent one to your parents, they'll be quick to remind you that you aren't on some sort of holiday or break. Ugh. You almost managed to forget your mom messaged you. You still have to deal with that too.  
  
"The stamps are pretty pricey."  
  
That's not true, and not what you meant. But he's got your interest now. He isn't attempting to make you have some big talk about your feelings or whatever. He's just... talking to you. It's new. And weird. And nice? Kind of?  
  
You flick your eyes over to watch him for a moment. He's looking out at the lake, seemingly as happy as ever. Part of you thinks it must be fake. The other part is envious. You can't remember the last time you were happy for more than like, half an hour. You'd settle for content. His smile is softer than usual, not wide and beaming. The light from the sunset shines in his eyes, and helps you to notice more fine details about his face. Huh. He has dimples. You never noticed.  
  
_He's pretty handsome._  
  
The thought hits you with the force a truck, and you feel your heart start up with that bullshit again. Oh goody goody gumdrops. This is going well.  
  
Oh. He's looking at you. You've been caught staring at him, like a total fucking creeper. Sweet. Totally what you needed when you're coming back down from being numb inside.  
  
But he keeps smiling at you, and you have to quickly flick your eyes back to the lake. You can feel your entire face heating up. God you hope that when you blush it isn't noticeable. Quick, quick, say something to get your mind off of him and his stupid attractive face.  
  
"D-Do you think it's okay if I tag along with Gwen tomorrow? To, uh, go to town?"  
  
"Hm?" David seems almost surprised, like what you said was something strange. Was it? Oh God, did you fuck up? What if—  
  
"Sorry, I didn't catch what you said."  
  
Oh. That was it. That's not like him though. He usually pays close attention. Ugh. That means he probably noticed how weird you're being right now or something.   
  
"I-I..." You take a deep breath. "Iwasthinkingmaybeit'dbeokaytogowithGwenintotowntomorrowifthat'sokayyeah?"  
  
Good job.  
  
"Uh..." He pauses, and you don't know if you're gonna be able to say it again. Your heart thumps wildly, and your head is getting fuzzy with the rush of emotions again.  
  
"Can I  _please_ go into town with Gwen tomorrow?" That didn't sound desperate at all.  
  
"Oh!" He laughs, and you feel your face flush again. The embarrassment makes you want to curl up and die. "Why, that should be fine! I'm sure Gwen wouldn't mind having company."  
  
You breathe a sigh of relief and, for the first time in a while, smile. It's small and weak, but not forced.  
  
"Thanks, David." Your tone is not formal and your voice not cool. You've messed this right up. But at least you can relax a little tomorrow.  
  
You stand up, and mutter a 'seeya later' to him whilst walking in the direction of the mess hall.  
  
If you had bothered to look at him, you might have noticed the unusual expression on his face as he wondered if you knew how pretty your smile was.


	5. A Trip into Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAYYYY LMAO IM BACK not that i was ever rlly gone 
> 
> man my sleeping is fucked up. writing this on literally 2 hours of sleep so if theres any mistakes please tell me. ill reread it when ive got a couple more hours. which could be next week for all i know but ya know thats whats so fun about insomnia. 
> 
> anyhoooooo hope u enjoy this chapter. it's fun to write gwen. she comes to me so easily probably cause we r the same person. i hope to include more of her in the future.
> 
> oh also i found a song that perfectly fits the reader btw. if ur interested it's called antidote by faith marie. i listen to it when i need to get into the mood.

You've been in the car for what feels like ages. But it's probably been about fifteen minutes at most. You never realised how far the town was from the camp. It's a little worrying. How long would it take for an ambulance or fire truck to get there? You don't doubt you'll find out soon enough. One of those kids is bound to start a fire eventually. Accidentally or not.  
  
A catchy pop song blasts from the radio. You're glad you don't have to fill the silence with awkward small talk. Gwen seems nice enough, but you don't know how to act around her. She's more grounded in reality than David, that's for sure. That doesn't mean you're exactly eager to talk about all your anxieties and various problems. Even though you've already done that with him. Though it's not as if you were in the greatest frame of mind at the time.  
  
She hums along to the tune, clearly familiar with it. You have no clue what it is or who it's by, and that makes you a little self-conscious. You haven't been focused on what's considered popular or cool since... since high school.  
  
You're still not over the fact Max called you sunshine. It still makes you feel sick. You've decided there's no possible way he knows what the little nickname means, but that doesn't make it any easier to stomach. He probably thinks he's just irritating you. But there's more to it. He wasn't the first to give you that moniker. Fuck admitting that to his face though. He might be more a vicious shit than you give him credit for, and use it even more to hurt you on purpose. He's ten, but that really doesn't mean much. Plenty of children get bullied by other kids that age. You're not about to be twenty and let it happen.  
  
Well, technically, twenty one. As of today. Yeah, it's your birthday. Wild.  
  
You're not gonna make a song and dance about it, because honestly, there's no real point. Birthdays are less fun when you don't like living. No real reason to celebrate another year of dragging your ass out of bed and forcing yourself to keep going. You  _really_ hope David and Gwen don't have some bullshit surprise party planned or something. They might technically know your birthday, as it was on your application form, but it's a minor detail so they might've forgotten.  
  
You doubt David could keep anything secret for long anyway. Especially as you just saw him last night, and he didn't seem any different from usual. A little more subdued, but that's possibly 'cause you were the one acting weird.  
  
So, here's to another year of being alive and hating every moment. Woop-de-fucking-doo. On the plus side, you can legally purchase and drink alcohol and shit. Sweet.  
  
It was your mom who reminded you through that text in the end. When you finally worked up the courage to look at it, it was just her wishing you happy birthday early and telling you how proud she was that you finally had a job. Which you are 99% sure is a subtle way of saying 'lose this fucking job and you'll forever be a disappointment'. She also said she sent some money to your account. You're gonna check how much in town.  
  
You hear your name being called and jolt back into reality.  
  
"Hey, you okay?"  
  
Shit. She noticed you were in your mind and now she thinks somethings up. If David said anything to her you're so fucked.  
  
You nod, and force out a small laugh.  
  
"Yeah, shit, sorry. I'm fine. Just thinking about what I'm gonna do in town." Only half a lie.  
  
Gwen shrugs. "If I'm being completely honest, there's not much to do. We have to get some supplies of course, but other than shopping I don't think you'll find anything entertaining. And if you do  **please** tell me about it. God knows I could use a break."  
  
You chuckle, and give her a grin. It's easier to relax when it's just her. No kids to worry about, no Max to ruin your day, no David to get in your way with his stupid cute face—  
  
Okay you need to stop finding him attractive right now. 'Cause it's not gonna end well. You are not able to have any kind of healthy relationship with your fucked up mind and  _especially_ not with your boss slash co-worker slash friend? Sort of?  
  
Aaaand just like that every part of you that was relaxed is thinking about stupid shit like 'emotions' and 'feelings'. Pffft, who needs 'em, right? Better to shove everything down inside and let that shit fester until it becomes uncontrollable.   
  
Another song starts playing after the last one died down, and Gwen groans and switches the radio off. Obviously not a fan. You briefly wonder what kind of station plays a pop song and then screamo, but you suppose there must only be a couple of them this far out in the middle of nowhere. You shift in your seat, wondering if this is the part where you're meant to act normal and talk about things. Like boys and make-up and all that stereotypical shit. Though you're probably a couple of years late to the game.  
  
Luckily, you can see the car approaching your destination. And boy Gwen really wasn't kidding. The place is pretty much a ghost town. You can see a couple of old dudes walking about, and a few different kinds of stores, but other than that? Nada. Nothing.  
  
Coming from a backwater yourself, this shouldn't be all that surprising. And yet.  
  
She can obviously sense your dismay, because Gwen smirks and gestures out in front of her.  
  
"Welcome to Sleepy Peak. Breathtaking, isn't it?"  
  
"The name fits well enough." You mumble, looking for a sign that there might be, oh you don't know, ANY place that someone under forty might go?  
  
Gwen parks the car up beside a small general store, and you feel your heart sink. This is just sad. No wonder she's always watching soaps at the camp when she needs a break. There'snothing here.   
  
Correction: there's one thing here. A bar. You notice it as you exit the car. You still doubt anyone your age will be inside, but all the same, you ask her if it's okay to check it out and then meet her in the store later.  
  
Upon confirmation that it's fine, you make your way there, but stop just outside. There's an ATM nearby, which you need to use before you go anywhere.  
  
You pull your purse out of your hoodie's right pocket, and fumble about for your card. The nice thing about the weekend is you're not required to dress in the official Camp Campbell counsellor uniform. David and Gwen still did, regardless. You suspect David's reason was out of respect and love for his job. Gwen's decision was probably more one of convenience than anything. The uniform was designed to be used on warm, sunny days and certainly kept you cool. However. The shorts mean you have to shave your legs.  
  
Well, you don't _have_ to. But if you don't then you're pretty sure you'll get weird looks from some of the kids and possibly your co-workers. Though something tells you David genuinely wouldn't care. You can't tell if it's your developing ~feelings~ for him trying to convince you he's even nicer than you already know he is, or just the fact he's so dense he probably wouldn't even notice. Probably both.  
  
But still, society's many pressures have weighed on you for too long to be comfortable showing off what should be natural. You don't know how Gwen does it to be honest. Your shorts are longer than hers, and you still can't be bothered to shave more than once a week. Which you will be doing tomorrow night, as usual. So on the weekend you wear stuff that covers your legs, like jeans or whatever. The hoodie is nice for covering up your arms too.  
  
Your shirt doesn't have the shorter sleeves that theirs boast, but it still feels uncomfortable that one little slip could mean someone sees something you really, **really**  do not want them to. Let's not even get into that.  
  
You punch in your pin, and wait as the obviously ancient machine does it's best to display your balance. The screen's a little fucked up, and you have to lean in and squint to make out what's on it.   
  
Oh, shit. Mom must be really glad you're gone, cause she gave you a hundred and fifty bucks. Usually you'll get like, seventy at most. That's awesome. Sucks that it's never gonna last because you're gonna fuck this all up, but still. Awesome.  
  
You then make your way back to the bar's entrance, and actually make it inside this time. The place is empty, which makes sense 'cause it's probably only like eleven. You're not sure why it's open this early, but hey, who are you to complain?   
  
The man behind the bar gives you a small nod of acknowledgement, and goes back to wiping a glass down. Ah, the oldest cliches are the most comforting. You take a quick look around, but there's nothing interesting. Ugh. Even the place with alcohol is boring. Just your luck.  
  
Wait. Alcohol. You're twenty one. There's alcohol.  
  
It's not as if you've never drunk beer before. You went to college after all. It's nearly impossible to do that and not go to some kind of function with people getting fucked up and having a good time. Hell, even people in your high school drank. It was less common, sure, but it happened. Just like weed and other drugs that would give your parents a heart attack if they found out. Not that you ever did anything but try a cigarette and then almost cough up a lung.  
  
But beer is more familiar. Even though you haven't had any since you dropped out. Your parents are not the kind to let you break the law. If you'd asked either of them to buy you anything even resembling alcohol, you would've been in for a fucking lecture. Not worth it.  
  
Now, it's legal. Completely so. As of like, 1am. Since you're pretty sure that's around the time you were born.  
  
You make your way over to the bartender, and order 'one beer please'. He looks at you blankly, then asks for ID. Fuck. You do not currently possess any form of ID, so there goes that idea. Maybe not the greatest way to order beer to be fair. Shows your inexperience. But it's not like you know what kind of shit they serve here.  
  
You pout the entire way to the general store, somehow even more miserable than you were ten minutes ago when you first saw this stupid, empty, geriatric town. When you meet back up with Gwen, another idea comes to mind. But it does involve telling her it's your birthday.  
  
Eh, fuck it. You're pretty sure she wants to throw a party even less than you want to have one.  
  
"Heeey, Gwen?"  
  
"Yeah?" She replies, bending down to grab a few boxes of cereal from the shelf.  
  
"Would you be willing to buy something for me? I'll transfer the money to you later."  
  
She shrugs. "Sure."  
  
Huh. That was pretty easy.  
  
"As long as it's not like, beer or whatever."  
  
For fuck's sake.  
  
"Oh." You fail to hide your disappointment.  
  
The older woman turns to face you, and raises an eyebrow.   
  
"You really think we're allowed to drink around the kids?"  
  
"Well, I mean I wasn't— I didn't—"  
  
You attempt to fumble out an explanation, that you would never drink around them, only in your cabin late at night or whatever. And you'd never get drunk or have a hangover or whatever.  
  
"Then why would you want shitty beer?"  
  
"Hey, some of us happen to like the refreshing taste of a can of Coors Light™."   
  
She looks at you, completely unconvinced.  
  
You groan.  
  
"Listen, Gwen. I promise you today is my birthday. I'm twenty one. I will not drink around the kids. I will not drink more than one beer a night. It's just... I do like the taste. Kind of." You like it because it reminds you of one of the most fun experiences of your young adult life. Your overall college experience may have been shit, but the first party you went to was pretty amazing. You were able to let loose for once, not caring about what other people thought of you. It wasn't like they'd remember you the next day, everyone was so out of it.  
  
You even kissed a couple of people. Just for fun. To experiment, a little. Nothing ever came of any of the interactions, but they were worthwhile nonetheless.  
  
Gwen sighs.  
  
"If David finds out about this, you bought them yourself. You take responsibility."  
  
"Deal!"  
  
Gwen's the best.  
  
Why couldn't you have developed feelings for the cool chick, instead of the super nice but obviously law-abiding, rule-following dude? You suppose it's just another way for your brain to fuck you over. That's all it is anyways, just hormones and bullshit. That perfectly describes love and all it entails.  
  
Wait, love? No. No you do  _ **not**  _love him. It's way too soon to say that kinda shit, even internally. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? You know someone who's not a piece of shit to you for a couple of weeks and you jump into 'love' territory? Fuck that. This is a crush and it will not develop any further. Not if you have anything to say about it.  
  
Which you absolutely don't, as you're pretty sure you haven't had any semblance of control over your emotions since age eleven. That's about when life goes downhill for most. Or maybe just you.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
The trip into town was worthwhile after all. You sneak the beers into your cabin, and hide them under your bed. You hope it'll be cool enough under there for them not to go gross. When you want one, you just gotta put it behind some of the other shit in David's mini fridge, and then take it out when it's ice-cold.  
  
For once, things seem to be going okay.  
  
But life's a real bitch sometimes.  
  
"Why, hello there and welcome back, my fellow co-counsellor!"  
  
David bursts through your door, nearly giving you a heart attack. Thankfully, the beer is already hidden from view, but that fact doesn't stop your heart from racing a mile a minute. And it's not entirely out of panic, but you'll deal with that later.  
  
"D-David! Hi! Hello!" Way to go, champ. That's how ordinary people talk.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry if I startled you, friend! Gwen just notified me that your shopping trip went well!"  
  
"R-Right."  
  
"I just wanted to say, job well done!" He beams brightly, giving you a thumbs up with both hands. It's as embarrassing as it is uplifting. You don't think you've been congratulated so sincerely in a while.  
  
"Uh, yeah it was r-really nothing." You laugh anxiously, rubbing your neck. "I got to check out the town, at least. Oh, wait!" You remember your impulsive purchase at the till, and pull the small card out of your pocket.  
  
David looks at you curiously as you push it into his hands.  
  
"Um, th-this is for you. 'Cause of yesterday, remember?"  
  
He looks down at the gift, and blinks. Then he laughs, and it's honestly one of the best sounds you've ever heard. You'll never admit that in a million fucking years.  
  
Gwen had given you a strange look when you put the postcard down on the till at the last minute, but didn't question you.  
  
"I do!" His laughter dies down into a chuckle, and he rubs a thumb across the picture of Lake Lilac fondly. That small gesture makes your heart leap into your throat. You briefly wonder what it'd feel like if that had been your hand and, fuck, you make every interaction with him a hundred times more awkward through stupidly imagining impossible scenarios.  
  
"It's, uh, not much but I..." you swallow, nervously.  
  
"I thought of you when I saw it."  
  
He tears his eyes away from your gift, and meets your own. There's a moment of prolonged silence and you want to Die. You feel so awkward and oh God, did you really just say that?! He must find you so weird and creepy and—  
  
"Thank you." He says, voice quieter than usual. That soft smile from the previous afternoon is back on his face. Seeing it face on makes your stomach flutter in a way that is entirely too pleasant.  
  
Well, that image is burned into your mind forever. Good luck getting over your crush now, loser.  
  
"You- Uh, you're wel-welcome." You stutter out, suddenly finding the wooden walls of your cabin so incredibly interesting to look at.  
  
"I'll treasure this." Shit. Does he have to be so fucking cute and nice all the time? If he keeps this up, you're gonna melt.  
  
"It's ju-just a postcard." A mindless mumble, but he still hears it.  
  
"It's not 'just' anything. It's proof of our friendship!"  
  
Friendship. You can deal with that. Being friends is good. He calls you friend all the time.  
  
So why does it feel like a punch to the gut? You do  **not** want to be anything more. It's not a matter of wanting anyway, you couldn't be. It's impossible. You two don't fit and David is oblivious and you know jack shit about love—  
  
And there's that word again and when will you  _learn_.  
  
"Of course." You smile, and it is so forced that you're certain even he notices. But he doesn't comment.  
  
"Oh, Gwen asked me to ask you if you could cover lunch for her! It's just sandwiches and chips today, so you don't need to worry about cooking!"  
  
Since she bought you those beers it would be rude to refuse. Also she might tell on you.  
  
"Sure."  
  
His face brightens back up, the gentler look all but gone. "I could help you out, if you want!"  
  
Huh. If you were the type to speculate, you'd think that almost sounds like he's trying to spend time with you. But it's David. So no. It's just him being nice. Being a good **friend**.   
  
"Nah, it's okay." You lie. Sort of. You both want him to come and also don't because how long can you really act normal around him? You've calmed the stammering down, sure, but now you're sweating profusely.  
  
"Oh." Well that seems familiar. Almost like when Gwen said 'no beers' earlier. Except it can't be, because who would be disappointed about getting out of lunch duty?  
  
"I'll uh, change, and then go get a head-start on it then." You can always put tights on under the shorts. Even if it will be hot as fuck.  
  
"Right! Good idea!" He smiles. "But, you don't have to change if you're comfortable as you are now! I certainly don't mind."   
  
If it were anyone else, that last bit would almost come off as flirtatious. But it's David. So that's literally not possible. Still makes your dumb ass heart go into overdrive though.  
  
"Okay." You give a small, not entirely fake, smile. "Thanks."  
  
"Then I suppose... I'll see you later?" He seems a little confused. Lost for words. It's unusual. But hey, like you're one to talk.  
  
"Yep. Seeya."  
  
Those are the last words you say to him as the both of you exit your cabin and go your separate ways.  
  
If you had bothered to look behind you, you would have most definitely seen David staring forlornly at your retreating figure as you made your way to the mess hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOY HOWDY i sure do love to tease ya with the end thing don't i. it's almost like i fuckin dont know how to write it in more obviously or whatever. 
> 
> lmao as i wrote this i found out the right way to spell forty is not with a fucking u btw. thanks school for teaching me that and making me feel dumb af that spellcheck was right for once
> 
> is it okay to write notes at the beginning and end?? well whatever. i doubt anyone even reads my lame ramblings so YOLO
> 
> i need to sleep now bye


	6. We Didn't Start the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UMMMM EXCUSE U THE SEASON FINALE DID NOT MAKE ME CRY AND I FOR ONE RESENT THESE BASELESS ACCUSATIONS lol jk i fucking bawled my eyes out like the weak piece of shit i am. fucking jesus man. hit me square in the crippling depression why dont ya. if they do this every season we're gonna have problems and by problems i mean im gonna flood my flat.
> 
> it did inspire me to write more doe so there's that. seeing david act the way he did made my stupid fucking heart flutter and i was like haha, why cant i love actual people this much. gotta have them fake unattainable boys cause all the real ones just send dick pics.
> 
> COPY AND PASTE THE URL BELOW TO ACCESS SUPER AWESOME FANART OF READER AND DAVID PLS GIVE IT ALL THE LOVE CAUSE IT'S AMAZING!!!!  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BYeZJF-D_oY/?taken-by=seekee520

It's still your birthday. And everything still sucks, but hey, what's new?  
  
Lunch was pretty normal at first but quickly devolved into a war between the two magic dorks. Nerris and Harrison have this sitcom rivalry shit going on and, to be honest, you're not about to stop it. It's kinda your favourite. Makes living at the camp more bearable. Just a tiny bit.  
  
So, there you were watching them have a makeshift duel, running around and ducking behind tables as they pretend to zap each other. It was the stupidest thing you've ever seen. You loved it.   
  
The other kids are all ignored them. You figured it must happen pretty often. The only one who seemed half interested was Nikki, who stared wide-eyed and made sound effects each time they fired a spell at each other. Pretty adorable given her usual overly-energetic nature.  
  
And then it happened. Then your goddamned shitty fucking life had to go and fuck things up.   
  
Magic Geek 1 and 2 went to 'take it outside'. You were not about to miss that for anything, but you couldn't leave the kids alone in the mess hall. So you moved to sit by the window and watch outside, whilst keeping your ears tuned for the other kids. But it was evident that you just could not catch a break.  
  
Max dropped his sandwich (on purpose, you fucking know it) and you had to go fix him a new one. Well, you didn't _have_ to, but the look he gave suggested unless you wanted him to call you sunshine in front of all these people you better hop on it. That thought was enough to have you scrambling into the kitchen before the Nerris and Harrison even started to brawl.  
  
You tried to rush through it, and of course this ended in you cutting yourself with the knife. Why wouldn't it? At least it was only a small cut, nothing major. You rinsed it off under the tap, cursing under your breath, and went back to making the stupid sandwich. You had half a mind to spit in it. And a tiny part whispered  _rat poison_ but you'd rather deal with your inner darkness another time.  
  
So, you go make your way back into the hall, and that's when the world crumbles in front of your eyes.  
  
All the kids are at the window, pressed up against it to look out. And you just  _know_ something is very wrong. Your gut twists and turns, and you shakily place the plate onto a table and make your way towards them.  
  
And then you see it.  
  
A fucking tree is on fire.  
  
Like, on **fire**. Not, oh it's smoking a bit, this bitch is  _ **burning**_.  
  
"Kids!" You yell, voice strangely calm for this very much panic-inducing situation. "Go outside, go to the cabins, and find David and Gwen! Stay away from the tree at all costs! You disobey me, you die, by my hand or the fire's!"  
  
You're honestly not sure what you're meant to do other than get your two actual Adult™ co-workers and keep the children away from it. They can't stay inside, the mess hall is made of fucking  _wood_ so if that fire spreads it isn't in any way safe.   
  
Pushing your way outside, you see Nerris and Harrison. You think they should be scared, but instead they're arguing. In front of the flaming tree. For fuck's sake.  
  
"Look what you've done now, Harrison!" The elf-lover lisps. "We're gonna get in trouble!"  
  
"Me? _You_ are the one who said I could not produce a proper fire spell!"  
  
Oh Jesus Christ.  
  
"Hey, kids?"  
  
They both whip around, eyes widening as they see your face. You must look as pissed and scared as you feel. Which is very.  
  
"If you're done arguing maybe you can, I don't know, **FUCKING GET AWAY FROM THE TREE**?!" Your voice breaks slightly, you're not used to raising it this much, but dear God if any time is the time for screaming this is it.  
  
The two immediately scramble away from the fire, and that calms you down a bit. So you can be authoritative if needed. Or was that just you scaring the shit out of them? Eh, it worked.  
  
Now. How to deal with this before the entire camp burns to the ground. Because then you'll 1. be out of a job and 2. be sued because this is kinda your fault. You should have stopped them from going outside, stopped their stupid little feud. But you didn't. And now the forest is on fire.  
  
At least it's contained at the moment. It's one tree, but the flames are flickering and growing fast and you have no doubts that an entire section may soon be alight. You have to phone the fire department. But first, get somewhere more safe. But also stay in range so that Gwen and David know where you are. But also your phone doesn't have much signal around here it's better at the cabins or the theatre stage. But also your legs won't move out of the now crippling fear that is rapidly consuming you.  
  
You've never been this close to an actual  _fire_ before. Like, a life-threatening and destructive one. Your legs are shaking, but you're frozen.  
  
Move. You have to move. You'll die. You'll  **die**.  
  
Isn't that what you want? You wanted it so much at one point. So much so you tried to make it happen. Tried being the key word. You failed. You always do. You're a failure.  
  
And this is not the time for a mental breakdown but it's not like your brain fucking cares. Your eyes are fixated on the flames, and your mind is a million miles away. You couldn't even die right. Maybe you can fix that. Maybe you can—  
  
The breath is knocked back into you as a feel something hit your shoulder. Huh?  
  
"Run, you fucking idiot!"  
  
And you do. You turn around and bolt away from the fire. You cough as you do so, having inhaled quite a bit of smoke. Your shaky legs get you half-way to the stage before they crumple and your on your knees. The coughing worsens, but you have to focus, you have to use your phone.  
  
You hear your name being called, and the shock of that causes you to drop it.  
  
"Hey, Jesus, are you okay?!" It's Gwen.   
  
She kneels beside you, and puts an arm around your trembling form. You open your mouth, and only cough some more.  
  
"Hey, hey, it's gonna be fine." Her voice is soothing, too soothing to be real. "I called them already, they're on their way." A hand rubs up and down your back.  
  
"It's—" Another coughing fit. "—m-my fault, I didn't- I-I couldn't—" Coughing again. "A-Are the kids alright?"  
  
You look at her, eyes filled with tears from the repeated coughs and also your emotional state. If any of those fucks are hurt or worse you'll never forgive yourself. Never.  
  
Thankfully, Gwen nods.  
  
"David took them somewhere safe. The fire shouldn't spread there they are before help is here. We need to get further away, okay?"  
  
You don't say or do anything, but allow her to help you up as you both head to wherever the kids are. Then you remember whatever hit your shoulder and the voice before. It didn't sound like Gwen at all.  
  
"Gw-" God, this coughing is getting annoying.  
  
She just keeps walking you to your destination, rubbing your back. The contact would usually make you uneasy and tense, but it's appreciated right now. Almost calming. Reminds of you being a child and being sick. Your dad would sometimes do the same. If he wasn't too busy to notice.  
  
Ah. That's where they all are. The kids are gathered in the main camp activity area. Most seem pretty bored, a few scared or worried and Nikki looks almost excited which is just so unsurprising. That helps to wash away your nervousness. It's all normal, everyone's fine, they're all—  
  
Where the fuck is Max.  
  
"Looking for me?"  
  
Son of Satan comes out from the bushes. You suspect he purposely hid himself in order to give you a heart attack. It worked. You hate the little fuck.  
  
"Max." Your co-counsellor says sternly. "Don't be a shit."  
  
God, you love Gwen.  
  
She helps you to sit down, back resting against Ered's skater ramp thing. You were never cool enough to learn the proper name.  
  
"I'm good, thanks."  
  
You give a weak and totally unconvincing smile, and break into another coughing fit.  
  
Taking a look around has most of the kids looking at you. Normally you'd feel anxious and exposed, and the feeling's still there, but it's been pushed down. You notice quite a few seem worried. That's almost heartwarming.  
  
But then you remember how the fire is your fault and oh boy you are so fired. You could lie, but literally all the kids know. They wouldn't cover for you. You don't expect them to, considering you almost just got them all burnt to a fucking crisp.  
  
You rub at your eyes with the back of your hand. They're still watering. You didn't even think about how the smoke might have just as much to do with that as your unstable emotions.  
  
It takes ten more minutes for the fire department to arrive. In that time, it spread to maybe three trees. Gwen and David are managing all the responsible stuff, like talking to them and dealing with the kids. You're just sitting on the grass, feeling useless and knowing your inevitable fate of being fired and going back home.  
  
You're lucky that it's a pretty cool and damp day. Otherwise the fire could have spread so much further and you could have been more than fired and possibly sued. That does not make you feel any less upset. At yourself, at life, at just... _everything_. You can't even make a sandwich without an entire forest almost going up in flames. If that doesn't prove you're the most incompetent person in the world, then what would?  
  
You're a failure.  
  
Another half an hour later, and you're sitting in the main cabin. David's cabin. Your two co-workers are sitting in front of you. They had a firefighter check if you needed to go to hospital or anything like that, but she had said you'd be fine with plenty of water and rest. Which is good. Because you do not have the money to pay for any kind of trip to the hospital.  
  
Now the three of you are alone. The kids are being supervised by an officer or park ranger guy, you're not really sure. He and his partner wanted to question them all, to make sure this was a complete accident. You've got to tell them before he does. Tell them this is all your fault.  
  
You gulp down another glass of water. You have a blanket over your lap, and are in the comfiest chair. David insisted, because of course he did. He probably thinks you're some kind of victim in this, not the reason it all happened. With a shaky sigh, you meet their eyes.  
  
Gwen looks uncharacteristically concerned. That makes you feel worse. And David? Let's not even talk about how his expression makes you feel inside. A mixture of warm, cold, nauseous, and also like you wanna die.  
  
"We just want to know what happened." Gwen starts, voice soft. It makes you feel uneasy. "So that when those guys come back, the report filed is accurate."  
  
"Right." David nods in agreement. "We want you to know, you aren't in trouble, this was all just an accident!" He attempts a jovial chuckle, but it dies out pretty fast.  
  
You feel  _awful_. They still think you're innocent.  
  
Your fingers are tapping at the glass, and you nervously glance away.  
  
"I... Y-You're wrong." You look back, noting the confusion on their faces. If that doesn't just twist the knife in your gut.  
  
"I did this. It... It w-was all my fault." You breathe in and out, in a vain attempt to keep calm. "I, ah... I-I'm the reason it happened. I w-wasn't... I—"  
  
A sudden crash interrupts your confession. Can't even confess without some shit going down.  
  
Since you're faced away from the door, you're the only one who can't see what happens. But you do hear.  
  
"It's our fault!"  
  
A chorus of two very distinct voices.  
  
Their little feet come running up, and they stand either side of your chair, looking up at Gwen and David with pleading eyes.  
  
"It was me who challenged Harrison!" Nerris splutters, waving her hands wildly. "I'm the one who said he couldn't do what he did!"  
  
"Nerris provoked me, but I should've known better!" Her arch-nemesis replies, gloved fingers gripping onto the arm of your chair. "I set the tree on fire by accident when trying to show off!"  
  
They keep on for another minute, spouting off reasons why it's their fault, not yours. You can't believe it. They're trying to cover for your stupid ass. These little magic dorks are trying to save you.  
  
You could cry. You do. It's not like you have much control right now. A few silent tears roll down your cheeks, and  **God** , you must look dumb as hell but you can't bring yourself to care. They're being so sweet and nice it almost makes you forget that even though they set the fire, it was your negligence as a supervisor that led to it.  
  
"Kids—"  
  
Another set of footsteps marches in. It's one of those police/ranger guys. You're still not sure which.  
  
"So that's where you two ran off to." He lets out an exasperated sigh. You know the feeling.  
   
"Tell them, tell them what we said!" Nerris pleads, pointing towards your co-counsellors.  
  
He strides into view, and you peek up at him, nervous about what's happening. He stops just in front to the left of your chair, and crosses his arms. His face is stoic and betrays no emotion. What is going on?  
  
"These two have taken full responsibility for the incident. They say that when the young lady here" he motions to you "left to make a sandwich for a child who dropped his, they snuck outside and accidentally caused the fire."  
  
That's not true at all. They were outside before you left. Because you didn't stop them.  
  
"They also say that the young lady was the one who helped them when they afraid of the fire. She got them away before it got too big."  
  
Another lie. They did not seem scared at all. Which you found kind of weird, but hey, maybe this has happened before.  
  
_Wait_.  
  
Has it? Has this occurred before? Most of the kids seemed unbothered by the fire, after all. More concerned after you started hacking up your lungs.  
  
David has a wide smile on his face, looking extremely pleased. You think he must be proud they admitted that it was their fault. Even though it wasn't.  
  
"That's no—" You begin to speak, but a small hand clamps onto your arm. It's Harrison. His eyes shift from you, to the other adults. He wants you to keep quiet? This kid is willing to take the rap?  
  
"It was us! All us!" Nerris exclaims once more. "She was just trying to be good and we took advantage of it! Dark forces flowed through our veins, corrupting our cores and—"  
  
"Okay! Okay Nerris, we get it." Gwen says, but she sounds more amused than tired. "You're the ones to blame. Don't worry."  
  
"If I have to come out here to file a report for another fire before this summer is up I'm gonna be real mad." The man says bluntly.  
  
**Another** fire? How often does this happen exactly? What?  
  
"I promise it won't happen again, Gordon!" David stands up, and offers a hand to the man. He pointedly ignores it and walks out of the cabin, mumbling to himself about 'damn kids' and 'sure it won't'.  
  
What the flying fuck is going on. Is it because the kids owned? Surely the camp would still be in trouble? Or not? As it seems?  
  
Gwen notices the confusion on your face. She gives you a small smile.  
  
"Don't worry about it. This isn't the first time, as you've probably guessed."  
  
Nerris and Harrison seem elated.  
  
"Working together, we saved the day for real this time!" The young girl cheers.  
  
"Yes, we did not suck, we were awesome!"  
  
David coughs to get their attention, a more serious look on his face.  
  
"You two are in trouble!" He says, trying to sound as stern as he can. Bless his little heart. "You could've destroyed a lot of poor animals homes, you know! Not to mention, you worried our poor new counsellor here!"  
  
The kids stop cheering, and look up at you. They want help for covering your ass. They deserve it. You let out a nervous laugh, and rub at your neck.  
  
"Uh... David, I, I think it's fine. Th-They owned up after all. It wasn't like any of it was on purpose." You stumble on your words, still unsure if you should own up to the fact it was actually more your fault than they think.  
  
"I don't know, I think they still might need to learn a lesson..."  
  
"David." You say, trying to keep your voice from shaking as you look into his eyes. His pretty, pretty eyes. Fuck.  
  
"Y-Yes?"  
  
Did he stutter? No, not the time to think about—  _Is he blushing_ _?_  Wait, fuck, not the time!  
  
"I uh..." You swallow. "It's... It's fine. You know? No one was really hurt, we, we're all fine a-and... Yeah." Very convincing.  
  
Gwen stands up and stretches her arms out.  
  
"Listen, I agree with her." She says, through a yawn. "No harm, no foul. And wow they actually acted like decent humans for once and didn't let her take the blame for their mistakes." Her hands come to rest on her hips. "I think it's fine too."  
  
Outnumbered, David backs down easily. Though you think Gwen was more persuasive than you and your stupid stumbling words.  
  
She herds the kids out of the door, and tells the two of you she'll deal with them all somehow. You feel guilty, as it was gonna be your turn to do afternoon activities since she did most of the morning ones. But you don't think you're in much of a state to.  
  
Now it's just... you and David. Him and you. In his cabin. Alone.  
  
Haha. Oh Boy This Is Bad.  
  
Your fingers are tapping in the empty glass that you are still holding.  
  
"Oh, did you want more water?" He asks, noticing your nerves.  
  
"Uh... y-yeah. If th-that's okay."  
  
"Of course!"  
  
You hand him the cup, and your fingers brush against his. Just for a second. The feeling sends several sparks flying through your skin. You pull away quickly, as if you've been burned. Fucking Christ, what are you going to do? You can't even touch his hand without it being weird.  
  
He doesn't seem to notice, and fills it up then returns it. Again, your hands touch. Again, the sparky-feeling thing happens. And it's weird and wrong but also  _right_ and an amazing feeling that makes your dumb heart leap into your throat. You shove it back down by chugging the entire glass of water.  
  
That's definitely a normal thing to do.  
  
"I have to admit" David says, sitting back down in one of the chairs opposite to you "I didn't expect those two to ever be able to work together on something." He sends you a smile that gives you strange feelings in strange places and you need God.  
  
"Ahaha..." You giggle, unsure of what to say. "I-I guess fires have a way of uh, uh, bringing p-people together?" You're so stupid. That's stupid.  
  
But he laughs. It's not a belly-laugh, but soft and small and you want to record that shit and put it on repeat. Fuck you're weird.  
  
"I think it's more that you're so amazing, you made something impossible happen."  
  
Holy. Fuck.  
  
If he compliments you like that you'll die. Like actually for real have a heart attack.  
  
"D-David..." You mutter. "You c-can't be serious. It h-had nothing t-to do with me." A half-truth, but it's too late to own up to shit now.  
  
You're purposefully avoiding his gaze, but can feel his eyes on you. It makes your skin feel hot and you know you're blushing and it's daylight and he can probably see right through you and—  
  
"Yep." He says, as if confirming a fact. "You're amazing."  
  
You're gonna hyperventilate. You've never been good with compliments, but ones coming from the guy you're crushing _ **hard** _ on are even worse.   
  
You've gone from one actual fire, to one your body is trying to start. You're sweating and it's uncomfortable and you're pretty sure you might spontaneously combust if he keeps this shit up.  
  
For a moment, you're able to look at his face. And if you didn't know better you'd say the half-lidded eyes and dreamy smile he has plastered on his face is almost expression of someone with a  _crush_ but haha, no, just no. You're definitely projecting. Because fuck off does this nice, pure, genuinely sweet and good guy have feelings for trash like you.  
  
The thought alone sends your head spinning. You stand up, letting the blanket drop to the floor. David's expression switches instantly, into one of worry. He starts to stand as well.  
  
"The fire lady said I should rest so I should rest!" You practically yell in his face, turning so fast and bolting outside.  
  
You are not dealing with feelings, not today, not in this camp. You make for your cabin, ready to just fucking cry yourself to sleep over the fact you're in so deep you're now imagining that  _David_ likes  _you_. As if that could ever happen in a million fucking years.  
  
No. Time to rest and shove your emotions back down and maybe go back to being apathetic because feeling nothing is far preferable to getting your hopes up that someone could ever like you like that. You're friends, and that's enough. That's more than you expected when you came to this shithole of a summer camp. Far more.  
  
What a fucking birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was way more dramatic than i originally intended lol. this was meant to be a funny thing but then i was like hmmmm would reader actually not blame themselves tho??? like i know if that happened to me id be like WELL I AM OFFICIALLY THE WORST CONGRATS
> 
> i promise next chapter will be more humour and shit but also im a sucker for emotional shite so ya know. also another song if you liked the last one i recommended is thoughts by michael schlute. especially fitting for this chapter given the lyrics but in general it fits the reader.
> 
> SEEYA


	7. Echoes from the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO ONCE AGAIN
> 
> i just wanna say a genuine thank you for all the kudos and comments and im just so overwhelmed by the praise bc honestly i suffer from low self-esteem and basically think everything i do is shite so ya know. that includes my writing. i didnt think so many people would enjoy this fic and im so, so glad that you all do!! 
> 
> enough of the sappy shit or else i might make myself cry ANYWAYS this chapter has been in my head a while but i had no idea where to put it so u know i thought why not here?? here is good. 
> 
> THIS MIGHT BE A BIT SPOILERY BUT THERE'S SELF-HARM STUFF IN THIS CHAPTER SO PLEASE BE AWARE OF THAT!!!! i dont want anyone to get triggered by it okay please be safe so i updated the tags bc Boi I Cant Believe I Forgot That Shit What Even Am I
> 
> now that thats out of the way please enjoy!!!

You did as the firefighter told you, and rested for the remainder of the day. If by 'rest' she had meant 'think about how awful you are whilst also focusing on the way David complimented you'. And then also getting paranoid that everyone would find out that Nerris and Harrison had lied to protect you. Even though you didn't plan it and were going to own up. You still felt anxiety gnaw away at your gut.  
  
Gwen and David tag-teamed in checking up on you. You obviously preferred when it was the former. Much less awkward. But either way, it still made you feel useless. The second time you've fucked up and had to have them take care of you. It's no wonder David seems to treat you like a kid. You might as well be a camper at this point.  
  
You had also downed two beers just before going to bed. They weren't even cold. You're an animal.  
  
Now, as you toss and turn, you can't help but regret that. You've been trying to get to sleep for two hours. But there's a problem.  
  
To put it rather delicately, nature is calling you.  
  
You check your phone for the time. 12AM. Great.  
  
No one ever died going out in the dark at midnight at a campsite. That's totally not the story of every horror movie ever.  
  
You groan in frustration, and rub your face with your hands. It's not that you're afraid of the dark or anything. But anyone would have second thoughts. You're in the middle of the woods, with the nearest town being about five or six miles away. You don't know why your paranoia hasn't brought this thought up earlier. Someone could totally break into the camp and kill everyone in it as they slept.   
  
Ugh. Great. Now that's in your head, you're even more reluctant to leave. But you know if you don't, you're absolutely gonna wet the bed and your age that is  _unacceptable_. Also if anyone found out—which they absolutely would, given your luck—you'd actually kill yourself because fuck that. No dramatics, you're pretty sure your brain would literally kick the depression and anxiety into overdrive and you'd try the old 'die and you don't have to deal with it' trick again.  
  
You've been shoving the memory down because that's the healthiest (read as: only) way to deal with it that you know of. But as you've been at this camp, it comes up again and again.  
  
What you did.  
  
Why you did it.  
  
Where it got you.  
  
Where it got you is in the fucking middle of nowhere, at the dead of night, needing to piss. This is so not the time to be dwelling on it.  
  
You pull yourself out of the bed, and flick the lamp light on. You fumble around for a bit, putting on jogging pants and slippers, finding a flashlight and then you're out. You don't take the keys because there's no point in locking the door this late at night.  
  
Okay. So it's creepy. And dark. And spooky. Which is the same as creepy and you don't know what to do other than rush to the toilets. So that's what you do. As quietly as possible.  
  
Nothing bad happens on the way there. But then you remember the less than stellar plumbing you guys have. You're pretty certain that it gets worse later at night. Which is just perfect. Whatever, you've come too far to give up now.  
  
Oh good. The lights in there don't turn on at night. You forgot about that. Fun!  
  
No. You are  **not** giving up. This is a matter of principle now. You always give up, and by whatever deities exist out there you are going to do this. You have a flashlight. That's enough.  _You can do it_.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
You manage to do it. Which is, honestly, quite surprising. Maybe it's stupid to be a little giddy about managing to piss in complete darkness whilst also alone in the woods, but whatever. You've tasted success and it is sweet. Although you did have the flashlight so the darkness wasn't really that complete. This victory will not be tainted by trivial details!  
  
As you make your way back to your cabin, you notice something. Something reflects the light you shine into the dark. Oh. Oh no. Okay so, this is definitely how you die and God you wish you could've done more but hey at least you can't disappoint people in the afterlife wait can you—  
  
"The hell're you doin'?"  
  
You let out a shriek so loud it could wake the dead.   
  
The voice was gruff and deep, a man you reckon, and Jesus it is most definitely the voice of a killer. You're about to be killed.  
  
"I-I'm sorry!"  
  
You're not sure who or what the apology was for, but it was the only thing that came to mind.  
  
And then he steps into the light.  
  
Oh for fuck's sake.  
  
"Is... is that you, Quartermaster?"  
  
His lifts his hook hand to his face and scratches at his moustache.  
  
"Sure is."  
  
"Well... wh-what are you doing back? Weren't you on holiday or something?"  
  
"Sure was."  
  
Great. Just great.  
  
"And...?"  
  
"M'back."  
  
You stare at him blankly.  
  
"In the middle of the night?"  
  
He folds his arms across his chest and stares back. Well maybe you still might get murdered after all.  
  
"Late plane."  
  
Riiiight. You slowly start to edge away from him. It's then you remember you may or may not have killed his snake. Shit.  
  
You edge faster.  
  
"Well, I-I need to get back to my bed, so, so yeah! Nice to see you, uh, hope you keep in touch, and have a wonderful night!"  
  
He doesn't stop you. He doesn't stop staring either. You'd only known the guy for two days before he fucked off to the Caribbean or something and right now he is not changing the first impression of 'axe-murderer' that you got from him. Is that hook even allowed? What are the health and safety rules around here?  
  
You start to power-walk back the cabin. Okay. No more creepy stuff or people, no more dark, just a warm and sort-of comfy bed. Yeah, you just need to sleep. Just for a bit.  
  
And then you're being tackled to the ground.  
  
Well, so much for that plan.  
  
You grunt in pain. The shock of the impact winded you, and you can't make any other noises.  
  
"Stop right there, fiend!"  
  
FOR GODS SAKE.  
  
It's David, because of course it is. He's sitting on top of you, because of course he is. He's holding both your wrists above your head in one hand and is restraining you way too efficiently. Because why not.  
  
If you were in a place to be rational and logical, you would assume he woke up because of your earlier scream and came out to investigate, then mistook you for an intruder. But you're not. So all you're currently thinking is _DAVID IS ON TOP OF ME SWEET JESUS CHRIST LORD IN HEAVEN_. Which works too.  
  
"What the fuck."  
  
Ah, and here she is. Your lovely other co-worker. Carrying a flashlight, like the one you had until David knocked it the fuck out of your hands and pinned you.  
  
She shines it over the two of you and sighs heavily. Gwen is sick of your shit and you should feel bad. But you don't. You don't feel anything other than a certain camp counsellor's body on top of yours. Said camp counsellor lets out a shocked gasp when he realises just what he's done. He immediately pulls his hand off of your wrists, and falls backwards. His legs are still somewhat tangled in yours.  
  
"Oh, oh sweet cheese on a cracker!" His voice is much higher than normal, and he sounds so embarrassed he might die. Well, at least you're not alone. "I'm s-so sorry friend!"  
  
You're just a girl, lying on the ground, remembering the feeling of David being so close to your face you could almost feel his breath. Your brain has short-circuited. It refuses to think of anything but him. Which is just **great** for all those feelings you've been repressing.  
  
You pretty sure you hear Gwen mutter something about 'romantic fanfics' and 'erotica' but you can't catch it all. You breathe deeply, chest rising and falling.  
  
"Fr-Friend?" He says. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did it?!"  
  
The panicked tone of his voice helps bring you back to reality. You squeeze your eyes shut and sit up, pulling your legs away from his.  
  
"I..." You have to take a breath, because it hurts to talk. "I'm... I'm fine. Don't worry." It's so hard not to stutter like usual. But this is not where you break down and confess your crush. This is real life, so you just have to deal with the awkward situation.  
  
"Thank goodness!" He lets out a relieved sigh, as well as a small laugh. It sounds strained for some reason. "I ah..." You can actually hear him swallow. "I was worried I-I might've—"  
  
"David. I'm fine."  
  
Maybe it comes out a bit short, but if he keeps talking this will not end well. You're not sure why, but your stomach is clenching and it is both unpleasant but also kind of nice? Oh, the joys of having emotional problems.  
  
"You sure?" Gwen shines the torch up a bit, avoiding your eyes. "That sounded like a pretty hard tackle."  
  
"Yes." You're gritting your teeth. In truth, your chest still hurts a bit but you can't be sure if that because of David or... well, because of  _David_. Your heart is hammering against your ribs and you can still feel him touching you which sounds way more dirty than it actually is.  
  
Okay, so it's a little dirty but it's not like it's your fault he chose to fucking pin your wrists down. What the hell are you meant to do, not think of that happening in another situation? Be a normal person? Not likely.  
  
Gwen offers you a hand and you accept it gratefully. David has also pulled himself up, and is brushing the dirt off of his pajamas.  
  
Wait. Pajamas. You're in pajamas.  
  
You quickly glance down your arms and are relieved to see that despite the loose sleeves of your shirt, they didn't roll up or anything. You're safe. For now.  
  
"What was that?" Gwen asks.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The noise earlier?"   
  
Ah.  
  
"I had to... go do something. And when I was coming back to my cabin, I ran into the Quartermaster."  
  
"He's back?"  
  
"He's back!"  
  
They speak pretty much at the same time. David sounds excited. Gwen sounds as confused as you were.  
  
"Yeah." You nod, tugging at your sleeves self-consciously. "He uh... said he got a late plane?"  
  
Gwen looks exasperated. David looks delighted.  
  
"We should throw him a welcome back party!"  
  
"Absolutely not." She shoots him down immediately. "Remember the last time you tried to do something nice for him?"  
  
It's a little too dark to see the look that crosses David's face, but you feel a sudden chill in the air. Whatever he did, it clearly went very wrong.  
  
"Uh, guys?" You interject.  
  
They both turn to you.  
  
"Um..." More tugging. It's just habit at this point. "M-Maybe we should check on the kids? I might have accidentally woken them up or some, something?"  
  
"Right." Gwen says with a sigh. "David, you do it." She then points at you. "We can go back to our cabins together."   
  
"What?" He sounds a little upset. That's weird. "W-well, why should I? I think maybe you might be better at checking up on them!"   
  
She picks up the flashlight you dropped and shoves it into his hands.  
  
"Go do it. And don't be stupid. We both know you'd be better at comforting them." She then mumbles. "Not that they'd need it."  
  
He attempts another protest but it dies down when she glares at him. Even without light you can tell that's what happens. He shrinks back like a scolded puppy, and then walks off towards the kids tents.  
  
You're kind of glad to be walking back with Gwen. If it was David you'd find it so awkward. It'd feel like he was escorting you back home, and then you'd have that weird rom-com moment of 'wanna come in for a coffee?' except that no, he wouldn't and you have no actual coffee. Also you're not dating. Someone mistaking you for a criminal and tackling you is not a date.  
  
You part ways with her, and stumble inside your cabin. You're thankful you turned on the lamp on earlier, because getting around without the flashlight would be much harder.  
  
After removing the slippers and taking the pants off, you remember to lock the door. A part of you briefly wonders if leaving it unlocked really was the best idea, but you figure you can deal with the consequences of your actions when you've actually slept.  
  
Then you see it.  
  
Laying on your bed, all innocent and inconspicuous.  
  
A hand-drawn picture of the sun.  
  
And you know, you just  _know_ , this is the work of that little shit.  
  
Max.   
  
He did this.  
  
Your blood runs cold and your hands tremble. You can't tell if it's from fear or rage. It could be both.  
  
You reach a shaking hand out and pick up the piece of paper. This is pretty much the equivalent of receiving a note telling you how you're shit and deserve to die in the most awful, painful way possible.  
  
You stare at it. Into it. Through it. You're not sure. You're just... blinded. Your mind is being assaulted by memories of it all. Of the adorable little nickname he's chosen to torment you with.  
  
_"Well if it isn't sunshine!"  
  
__"She's so bright and wonderful, isn't she?"  
  
_ You can still hear their mocking voices, dripping with false sweetness.  
  
You see a tear hit the paper before you know you're even crying. You quickly rub your eyes with your free hand, and crumple up the paper in the other. You throw it at the wall but it's too late. You remember. You remember it all.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
_High school. The best or worst time of your life, depending on a variety of factors. The most important one being your popularity.  
  
If you aren't pretty or talented in a 'cool way', you basically have zero chance of being popular. Some people make it through being friends with those who are already well-liked. Others have charm._  
  
_You did not._  
  
_You weren't cool or pretty or even funny. You were the person who ate alone at lunch. The one who sat in the middle of class so as not to be noticed. You didn't have a group or a clique. They're different than movies make out, sure, but they exist. And you weren't in any of them._  
  
_It all changed in senior year. You made a friend. An actual friend, who wasn't just with you because they were also alone and hadn't yet figured who they fit in with. She was so nice. So kind and sweet. A student who'd transferred because her mother got a promotion, but had to move to take it._  
  
_She always made you laugh with innocent jokes. Ones that didn't hurt other people, you hated those ones. Mostly because you'd been on the receiving end of them more than once. Being invisible didn't exclude you from that._  
  
_But she made you feel real and important. Like you were worth something._  
  
_You felt like you could tell her anything._  
  
_So you did._  
  
_You told her about the sadness that ate away at you. How you'd cry at night, so your parents wouldn't see it. The way your brain seemed to take any little bad thing and make it a thousand times worse._  
  
_She listened so attentively. She comforted you, told you it was okay to feel like that._  
  
_So you showed her the scars._  
  
_You cut them into your upper arm, above the elbow. It hurt, but that was the point. The pain distracted from the other feelings, and let them out. Albeit in a very unhealthy way. But you didn't know what else to do._  
  
_The few times you tried to talk to your parents, they either passed it off as 'puberty' or 'teenage angst'. So you stopped talking. You stopped communicating with them at all really. Beyond pleasantries and talks about your grades. Which usually made you feel worse._  
  
_She hugged you and soothed you as you cried._  
  
_And then she stabbed you in the back._  
  
_She found herself a friend in one of the popular boys. She started to drift away from you._  
  
_You were scared of being alone again. So scared. And you were afraid she might tell them about your problems._  
  
_You lashed out. Screamed at her. It was a breakdown, you'd later surmise. You were so unused to feeling the fear of loss, since you had nothing to lose. You didn't know how to deal with it._  
  
_You were given a suspension. Three days. Your parents were not happy._  
  
_When you came back, it felt like everyone was looking at you. You thought maybe it was just like usual. But this time it felt more **real**. Like it wasn't just your mind making it up to mess with you._  
  
_Then they started to wave at you and greet you. And they always called you that name, sunshine. It left a taste in your mouth. You knew they were mocking you but you didn't know why. Not at that point._  
  
_It got to lunch and you couldn't stand it any more. Even the grades below you had started snickering in your presence. Not everyone, but anyone. You weren't sure who would laugh or who would use that name._  
  
_And then your already shitty life took a sharp turn for the worse._  
  
_The boy she'd become friends with confronted you. Richard Tucker._  
  
_Tucker grinned and it was at that moment that you knew what was going to happen. You knew he knew._  
  
_"Well, if it isn't Miss Brightness herself! How you doin', sunshine?"_  
  
_The way he crooned out the nickname made you want to vomit. You couldn't even talk, so you just quietly let out a 'no'. You wanted to deny this was real, that it was happening._  
  
_Tucker laughed. Loudly._  
  
_"You might be wonderin' why people around here keep callin' you that, huh?"_  
  
_His smile was sickening._  
  
_"Well, your little friend told me all about you. How you're so incredibly happy and joyful!"_  
  
_The sarcasm in his tone was so obvious that even David would have noticed._  
  
_"So I figured, why not spread around a cute little nickname for ya?" He leaned against the lockers, eyes locked onto yours. Tucker was one of those people who was popular because people were too afraid to push him out. Because this was the kind of thing he did._  
  
_You stumbled backwards, nearly falling over. Your heart had stopped in your chest. Everything started to blur together._  
  
_"The nickname fits, don'tcha think?" He chuckled. "Because you're all 'sunshine and rainbows'!"_  
  
_It wasn't even clever or funny or original but it **hurt**. And he knew it._  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
You were ridiculed for the rest of your last year. You barely graduated in the end, and your parents were never the same to you again. Always had this look on their faces. One that reminded you that you're a failure.   
  
Everyone called you sunshine. Even people who didn't get the 'joke' started to pick it up. One time a teacher did it. You were mortified.  
  
The one friend you made since coming into high school had betrayed you. You never let anyone else get close, no, not after that. Not even at college. You pushed people as far away as possible. Any interactions were meaningless and shallow things. Maybe that's why it made some of the better memories. Because nothing mattered and you didn't care. Well, until you did. And dropped out.  
  
You're standing there, crying. Over a stupid fucking picture. God, you're pathetic. A fucking mess of a human being.  
  
Why even bother living? What're you going on for? You're never gonna have a good job or a relationship. You don't have any dreams and even if you did, guess what, you can't go back to college. Your parents would throw a fucking fit. You don't have enough money.  
  
You wait for several minutes, trying to calm down, before crawling back into the bed. You turn the lamp off, and curl up. You don't know what to do any more. You don't. When summer ends, what then? You'll be gone. Gwen and David will be gone. The kids will be gone.  
  
You're going to lose it all again. It makes your chest ache. The emptiness will come back.  
  
It'd filled a hole inside you. You hate this job. You do. But there's a point to it. There's something to be gained. You don't have to see your parents every day. Their faces. Their expectations. Their dismay at having such a worthless, good-for-nothing daughter.  
  
You don't even have a real CV. The one you sent in here was made in like ten minutes. No job experience, no credentials. You don't even know how you got hired.  
  
_You're amazing_.  
  
The words echo in your head.  
  
You're not. You never will be.  
  
But you want to believe him. You want to be as amazing as he seems to think.  
  
You don't know what he sees. You don't know why he picked you.  
  
But if David sees it. Maybe... maybe it's there. He wouldn't lie, not about that.  
  
He isn't like she was. Neither is Gwen. They're both so nice. In very different ways.  
  
You tried to keep your distance but look what's happened. You want to be best friends with one of them, and you're in love with the other.  
  
What's the point in denying it? This is beyond a crush. If he can give you hope when you feel like this just because of two words, then yeah, you love him. You are so hopeless.  
  
With a long sigh, you cuddle up to one of your pillows, and try not to start crying again.  
  
Tomorrow might be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now you know why reader hates that name. i bet that was eating away at ya. or not. BUT YES. that is what happened. based slightly on a similar experience i once had in school. went differently bc im in england not america but yeah. weren't great my friends. didnt feel good.
> 
> as always i hope you liked the chapter and sorry i lied about funny stuff lol but we'll get to it soon!!! its a coming!!! i promise!!! (pls dont kill me if i fuck up and make the next one sad as well)
> 
> and hey, if you're someone who feels like reader does, i want you to know your feelings are valid and dont make you less of a person. if you dropped out of college or high school or anything, you still have worth. your value as a human being is not determined by your education or your job. 
> 
> hell, i didnt even make it through high school. i left when i was like 14. i couldnt deal with being around people and being taught things i already knew or subjects that i didnt care about. i dont have a job and i live with my mum so yeah. if people appreciate me, then my value must lie in who i am. not what i do. and that goes for you too.
> 
> OKAY DONE WITH THE SAPPY STUFF NOW BYE


	8. Fear and Loathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYBODY SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT YA KNOW WHEN LIFE JUST HITS U LIKE A TRUCK
> 
> yeah but no really peeps im sorry this took so long but good things come to those who wait! or well mediocre fanfic at least. thank you for being so patient!! this is why i dont keep a schedule tho lol cause i know id break it. i cant even get up some days to like take care of myself so i would have no way of sticking to a plan.
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy this cause it took me forever to get through. my brain is just fucked atm. idk whats up with it but i just. i misspelt the word 'activities' like seven times.

Surprisingly, tomorrow  _is_ better. Or, well, today. Whatever.  
  
Despite yesterday's incident, the day is going fairly well. As well as it can be for you anyway.  
  
No major fuck-ups, the kids are behaving, your co-workers are being helpful and even Max is staying out of your way.  
  
It's suspicious.  
  
Nothing in your life has ever gone right, so you're paranoid. You know disaster's gonna strike when you least suspect it. So if you always suspect it, it can't. Or something. You're not doing too great mentally.  
  
You're washing up the kids plates from lunch. There wasn't even a food fight or anything. Lucifer's son hasn't talked shit to you or called you that lovely traumatic nickname. Plus, there's no activities planned today. Barely any work to do. Yet you keep looking over your shoulder waiting for something to happen. For someone to come in and ruin this. Even though you're already ruining it by being unable to enjoy the temporary peace.  
  
Gwen's by your side. She offered to lend a hand. It was strange but you agreed. It's rare for her to be so ready to help. Maybe she thought you'd fuck it up? Probably that. You do fuck up a lot. So much. So it's weird you haven't yet, right? Yeah. Weird.  
  
"Jesus, your hands!"  
  
Huh? What? Hands?  
  
You snap back into reality from worrying about every possible way this situation could go wrong, only to see it has. The hot water you were using to rinse off the last of the plates is burning your hands. Well. It's probably concerning that you were so easily ignore the scalding pain that you are now starting to feel, but let's save that issue for another day.  
  
She quickly fumbles with the faucet, turning it off with a wince. The metal is probably really hot as well. This place has the shittiest plumbing you've encountered and, considering some of the places you visited whilst in college, that really says something.  
  
You're pull your hands back and stare at them. The right one is definitely the more injured. It hurts like a bitch. Your mouth opens, but no noise comes out. Probably just shock. The skin is all red and looks sore. Feels sore. Right. This is your body. You can feel it. This is definitely not the kind of time you should be disassociating.   
  
"Okay, listen." Gwen says, causing you to look up at her. "I'm gonna get some ice and put it on the burn, just stay here, okay?"  
  
"Ice isn't good for burns."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's better to run cool—maybe even lukewarm—water over them." You shrug. "I remember it from school."  
  
"...Okay?" She quickly turns the faucet back on, fiddling with it until she's sure it's of an alright temperature. With uncharacteristic gentleness, Gwen guides your hands under the water. You hiss. It stings, but also feels good. Helps your brain to stop trying to pull away from real life and you feel a rush of emotion. You're not sure which one, so 'emotion' works for now.  
  
"Anything else you remember from school?" Gwen asks. You think it's an attempt at a joke, but her face looks serious.  
  
"Don't we teach first aid here?"   
  
"Well, yeah, we do." She sighs, still holding onto your wrists. "But that's where I learned the ice thing. So I'm guessing the info came from an out of date book, or some stupid site."  
  
"I'm sure it's, ah, a common misunderstanding." You bite your lip. The pain makes you wanna cry. Just a bit. But fuck doing that in front of someone else. You've done it in front of David, and there's no way you're gonna repeat that.   
  
Imagine if you started falling for Gwen just 'cause she comforted you in a moment of weakness? Then you'd be in love with both of the people you work with, and that would not end well. Not to mention you'd die if you had to be alone with either of them. Or around both of them. Which is basically all the time.  
  
"Doesn't matter what it is, we're teaching stuff that's wrong to the kids." Another sigh. "This camp is already shitty enough, but we're even giving them bad advice too."  
  
Huh. You didn't expect her to really care about that sort of thing. Gwen's in no way a bad person, but she's pretty apathetic about most shit. She seems to feel bad they can't really do what the brochures for the camp say.  
  
"That's... That's not your fault. Like I said, a lot of people probably think that way." You're attempting to reassure her. This is new territory. To be honest, you really don't know what to say.  
  
So you focus on the burn instead.  
  
"I ah, do remember something else though. I have to hold it here for about, like, twenty minutes? Though it doesn't look like I burned myself too bad, so maybe it won't come to that." You pull your hands from the water, to check on them. The sudden movement forces you to bite your lip to stifle a whimper.  
  
Gwen also lets go of your wrists, and strangely enough the prolonged contact hadn't bothered you. Maybe you're finally getting used to being touched?  
  
Though if it were David, it might be a different matter.  
  
But now is **not** the time to think about your ~feelings~. You check over the injury, and it looks like your initial impression was correct. Your left hand was barely scalded at all, with only a small red mark on the edge of your palm. But the right has a much bigger and more irritated wound, going midway up your pinky and ring finger, and ending just above your wrist. It's basically half of your hand.  
  
"That doesn't look great." Gwen comments, sounded worried.  
  
"Yeah." You swallow. "Doesn't feel great either."  
  
You hear her chuckle. "I can imagine. I think it's better if you take your own advice, and run it under the faucet for a while."  
  
There goes another fifteen minutes of your life. Wasted because you couldn't stop being paranoid something would happen. Which made something happen. Your life is just one vicious cycle of that shit.  
  
"Okay. You can look for the plastic wrap then."  
  
"What?"  
  
Oh right. You need to explain things.  
  
"Plastic wrap is uh, good for burns. Keeps moisture in, cleanest thing you'll find outside of a hospital and it's a flexible covering."  
  
"Got it." She says, staring to search through the drawers. You don't really use it too often, so it's not like any of you know where it is off the top of your heads.  
  
You put your right hand back under the faucet, and lean against the sink. Standing around for ages is gonna be boring as hell. Not to mention give your mind the time it needs to tell you what a fucking piece of garbage you are for getting injured  _ **again**_. You really just get in everyone's way, don'tcha?  
  
You close your eyes, trying to block out the thoughts. Not now. You can fill your self-hatred quota when you're in bed tonight. Right now just focus on fixing your mistake, and making sure you don't have to go get checked out. Because you can't afford that shit. And you very much doubt the camp has any kind of funds for it.  
  
"Found it!" Gwen's voice startles you a little. Isn't that what you into this trouble in the first place? Spacing out? Why can't you control it, even after what happened?  
  
A yawn gives you an answer. Ah. You're tired as fuck. That's why.  
  
The paranoia doesn't help, certainly. But the fact you haven't had any actual sleep in like three weeks probably has more to do with why you keep fading in out of reality.  
  
She sets the plastic wrap on the counter, and gives you a smile. It isn't even forced or strained.  
  
"You seem to know quite a bit about this sort of thing."  
  
Oh no.  
  
"Maybe you could give the kids a lesson on Monday?"  
  
Oh  **no**.  
  
You've never been the one in charge before. For good reason. You are most definitely not responsible enough to be in charge of anything. Let alone ten kids. No way. No way in hell.  
  
"I don't think-"  
  
"Well, hello there my friends!" Good. Because this situation needed to get worse. "You were taking quite a while with the dishes, so I came to see if I could help! Lunch is nearly over, you know! And-"  
  
His little speech stops when he notices your odd position. And probably your expression.   
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"Nope! It's, uh, a-all cool David." Yeah, like he's gonna believe that.  
  
Gwen gives you a look, and then focuses on him.  
  
"She just got a little hurt. It's nothing big. No need to worry."  
  
That does not stop him.  
  
"Oh my goodness, are you okay?!" And God you wish he wouldn't get  _so close_. He practically pushes Gwen out of the way to stand by your side. Which is weirdly inconsiderate of him.  
  
"Fine and dandy!" What the fuck. Who even says that. What are you, fifty? Jesus Christ.  
  
"You don't sound fine!" He reaches out, placing a hand on your shoulder. Yep, as you thought. David is a different matter altogether. Even through your hoodie, you feel his thumb gently rubbing in what you assume is meant to be a comforting gesture.  
  
Instead it makes your insides twist in a way that is both the best and worst feeling in the entire world. You attempt to turn your face away from his eyes, but since you have to stay put at the sink it's kinda hard. If he catches you blushing like you know you are, you might as well die because your life will be over.  
  
"I'm good!" You blurt out, shifting a little. "It's all good in the hood, haha!"  
  
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.  
  
You  _know_ you heard Gwen snort. The traitor. How can she laugh at you at a time like this?!  
  
"Are you sure?" David doesn't comment, because he's David. He just sounds concerned.  
  
"Y-Yep." Your voice is getting higher pitched every time you're forced to answer him. "I w-was just stupid and burned myself! That's all."  
  
He gasps. Oh dear lord.  
  
"Burned yourself?!" His hand on your shoulder grips a little tighter, and after yesterday that's all it takes for your thoughts to stray to a place that they never should about a pure soul like him. "That-"  
  
"David." Gwen cuts him off. "She's fine."  
  
"But-"  
  
"She isn't a kid, David. She can take care of herself. If she says she's fine, she's fine. Right?"  
  
"R-Right." You say, turning your head back to face them.  
  
"Don't infantilize her."  
  
Gwen is a goddess. That's what you've decided. She managed to take your scrambled thoughts and put them into a sentence that wasn't too harsh but just enough to get David to stop freaking out.  
  
He looks between the two of you, and finally takes his hand away from your shoulder. Thank fuck for that.  
  
However, you don't miss the way he doesn't just lift it off. He gently glides it away, taking his sweet time. It leaves your entire body tingling, and you thought you'd gotten over the blushing but nooope. It comes back in an instant.  
  
Luckily for you, he's looking at Gwen. And Gwen is looking at... you?   
  
What is that look about? Self-satisfied, a smirk on her lips, eyes glinting conspiratorially... Oh. Oh God.  
  
 ** _She knows._**  
  
Gwen knows about your crush on David. How long for?! Did she just figure it out?!  
  
You narrow your eyes in a _you little fuck_ sort of way. She sees, and you're pretty sure her smirk gets even bigger. God damn it. She's not about to let this go.   
  
"I guess you're right." David's voice cuts through the tension between you two. "Maybe I overreacted, just a little."  
  
You make as neutral an expression as possible when he looks back at you. It's hard to do so with the small embarrassed smile he's wearing. Does he really have to be so fucking cute all the time?   
  
"I was worried. I didn't mean to treat you like you're not an adult." He rubs his neck, looking at you with a flush on his face Ugh. Now he's even cuter. This is unfair. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's... It's okay." You smile, and as is happening increasingly often, it's not forced. "I'd do the same if it was you."  
  
His eyes widen.  
  
Where did that come from?! Holy shit, could you be more obvious?  
  
"I, ah, I-I mean you're such a good friend and all! Of course I'd b-be worried!"  
  
Nice save, dipshit.  
  
Behind him, you can see Gwen visibly facepalm. David doesn't seem to notice though, and just stares at you.  
  
"Okay, so it's probably been long enough under the water now!" You laugh, quickly twist the faucet off, and pull back your hand. "Gotta uh, wrap this up!"  
  
You reach for the plastic wrap, but Gwen get to it faster than you.  
  
"Someone else should probably do it for you." You can tell from her grin where this is going. "David, do you mind? One of us should probably get back to the kids before they manage to burn down the forest. Again."  
  
That last remark makes you grimace despite knowing it wasn't intended to be a snub. The guilt pools in your stomach. Along with something else.  
  
Because there's something more important to focus on here. David is about to be touching your hand with his hands for an extended period of time. Thanks Gwen, you utter fuck. There's no way this is going to backfire wildly and cause a traumatic incident.  
  
"Of course I don't mind!" He says, with way more enthusiasm than is necessary. He takes the wrap from her, and smiles brightly at you. His face is still flushed pink, which confuses you. He doesn't seem embarrassed any more.  
  
The thought that it's possible his face is like that because of you causes your heart to do the thud thing again. It used to hurt but you've gotten used to the reaction it has to anything vaguely resembling romantic situations with David involved.  
  
Gwen exits through the door, but gives you a thumbs up before it closes completely. You don't know when she figured it out, but you're getting the impression it was before all this. Maybe she's tired of seeing you get all awkward around him.  
  
Such a Judas move though. She knows you can't escape this situation without coming across as rude or weird. And you don't want him to think you're either of those things. Although you're pretty sure he already thinks you're the latter. But it's David so there's a chance his oblivious ass hasn't noticed.  
  
"Plastic wrap, huh?" He says, examining it.  
  
You pull your right hand to your chest, and manage a shaky reply of 'y-yeah'.  
  
Being alone with him impairs your ability to act like a normal human being. It wasn't great to begin with either.  
  
"It's uh... I-It's better f-for burns 'n shit." Eloquent. "Bandages w-wouldn't keep moisture in s-so well."  
  
"...I didn't know that."  
  
He almost sounds ashamed.  
  
Oh. Right.  
  
If Gwen felt bad about teaching the kids the wrong information, how would David feel? He actually thinks the camp is good. He likes it, and wants it to be a great experience for them.  
  
"You sure do know a lot."  
  
Fuck. You can't stop your face from heating up at the compliment. Not to mention how he's smiling at you again.  
  
"N-nah." You cough, keeping your eyes on anything but him. "J-Just remember some stuff from school. That's all." That really is all it is. You have a good memory for remembering information that you should probably use for more useful stuff. Like science or math.  
  
It was just one of those day things. Like 'fire safety' day and all that. Some paramedic guy came in and rambled on about first aid. Since this was middle school, most everyone didn't really give a shit or pay attention. But—before your life went to shit—you actually liked learning. Even though at that point you probably already had depression. You kind of threw yourself into school because you wanted to ignore the weird feelings. Trying to talk to your parents was a bust, so ignoring them was the obvious way to go.  
  
You're realising you haven't learned much since age eleven basically. You still do the same shit.  
  
"Well, it's more than I know!" He sounds chipper, but there's a hint of self-depreciation in there. David may like to build people up, but he's never torn himself down to do it before. It makes you feel uncomfortable.  
  
"I doubt that." You shake your head, actually attempting to look him in the eye for once. "Y-You run most of the activities after all. And from what I've seen, y-you're pretty knowledgeable."  
  
It's not a complete lie. He knows a lot. Some of it's a bit wrong, but that's the case for most people. New things are discovered every year after all, and old facts become false.  
  
"I think you're pretty smart."  
  
You expect him to do what most people do when they self-deprecate. To refute it, to deny the compliment. Like you did to him just a minute ago.  
  
You do not expect his face to go from pink to red.  
  
That's puzzling.  
  
"Uh... I-I mean, yes, no, um, thank you! Friend!" You don't think you've heard him stumble for words before. It's adorable. And bizarre.  
  
You've complimented him before, right? He's never acted like this.  
  
"It's just the truth." You smile. Seeing him be the one to act like this actually makes you more confident, surprisingly. "Now, we should uh... Get on with the thing."  
  
"Oh! Right!"  
  
He fumbles with the plastic wrap. Wow. What has got him so... like this?   
  
 _Maybe it's not the compliment, but who it's coming from that has him flustered?  
  
_ Whoa there buddy. You push that thought away as soon as it comes. Because no. There's absolutely no way.  
  
You turn every bit of your attention to your hands to keep your mind from making up such ridiculous fantasies again. The left really didn't get it so bad. It doesn't even hurt.  
  
However, the right one has a blister forming. Thankfully, it isn't too big, but you're not gonna be able to use it for much. Once again, making yourself useless. Yesterday you fucked up lunch, became unable to help with anything, and now you've done it again. At least it was the weekend, and not on a day with activities. But you doubt this gonna be healed on Monday morning.  
  
A despondent sigh escapes before you can stop it. Ugh. You must seem like a moody child right now.  
  
Oddly, David doesn't notice. Weird. When you've done something like that before, he always asks if you feel okay. But he's still grappling with the wrap.   
  
He's pretty focused in on the task. Picking at the end, trying to get it to even out.  
  
"David." You shake your head, hiding an amused smile. "It doesn't have to be perfect. We can just, uh, make sure it's covered with what we have."  
  
"No, no, I've almost got it." He mumbles, half-ignoring you.  
  
Since he's technically doing this to help you, you're not going to give him shit for it. You let him try for another minute until he finally gets it.  
  
He turns to you triumphantly, grinning like he's won an olympic medal for this shit. You can't help but giggle. He really is adorable.  
  
"Well done! Only took you, what, half a year?" You tease.  
  
His face had begun to calm down, but it flares up again. Interesting.  _Really_ interesting.  
  
You raise an eyebrow and hold out your hand. Usually this situation would be reversed. It's strange, but him being nervous makes you unable to be so as well. You haven't really ever been around anyone who acted more anxious than yourself, so it's all very new.  
  
"Fix me up, doc."  
  
He nods, and carefully begins to fold the wrap around your hand. He goes for the palm first, avoiding getting your fingers tangled up in it. He's obviously trying not to touch you, and you're thankful for that for a variety of reasons. This whole confidence thing could go down the drain in an instant if he does.  
  
Next he works on your two injured fingers. It would've been worse if they'd been the other two, or your thumb. You can probably still grab things at least. If only lightly. It's hard to move the first two fingers without the others following.  
  
He accidentally pulls the wrap a little too tight, and you let out a yelp. You immediately regret it as his face fills up with guilt, and he apologises like a thousand time. You assure him it's okay, it was just a mistake.  
  
By the time you're done, he's still saying sorry.  
  
"O-Oh gosh, it sounded like it hurt pretty badly and I really am-"  
  
"Jesus, David, quit it!" That came out a little harsh, so you quickly add. "I know you didn't mean to. It didn't hurt that much. More than anything, I was surprised. I'm  **fine**." You put emphasis on the last word. To make it final.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Didn't Gwen already tell you to stop treating me like I'm ten?"  
  
"Oh." He blushes, most likely out of shame. "Right. Sorry. I mean, no, I'm not! W-Wait, I am, but I'm not apologising for the other thing!"  
  
It's so different to see him like this. For him to be the one who keeps getting anxious. It fills you with unease but, again, makes you feel more confident in yourself. How does that even work?  
  
It fills you with enough confidence, that you attempt to tease him again.  
  
"Wow, keep that blushing up, and someone might think you've got a crush on me."  
  
You regret the words before they finish leaving your mouth. Today is a day filled with so many regrets. So many.  
  
David's entire body stills. Like a deer caught in the headlights. His mouth is agape, eyes wide, and his entire face has surpassed any shade of red you've seen before.  
  
"...Th-that was a joke." You say, with a little cough. "O-Obviously."  
  
He snaps up, straight as an arrow, and laughs. Loudly. Too loudly.  
  
"Yes, obviously! A joke!" His voice is strangled. "A funny _joke_ from my  **friend**!"  
  
What the hell is going on. There's a strange meaning to those words that you are not getting.  
  
After all, he couldn't possibly...  
  
There's no way he...  
  
"Hey, D-Dav-"  
  
"What are you idiots laughing about in here?"  
  
 _Excellent_ timing from Max there. Really. So great.  
  
He strolls into the kitchen, without a care in the world. Unaware of what he's just interrupted.  
  
"I should go! To help! Gwen!"  
  
He runs away from you faster than Nikki on coffee.  
  
"What the fuck was that?"  
  
Glad to see you're not the only one confused by this turn of events. Even though he had some part in them.  
  
You glare at the kid, and fold your arms. Then unfold them because  _ow_ not the best course of action with a burned hand you idiot.  
  
He glances at it, and his expression twists into something unrecognisable.  
  
"The fuck did you do?"  
  
"What's it to you?" You spit. You're still bitter over the name thing. Not to mention that fucking picture he left you. Haven't forgotten about that shit.  
  
He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Just curious." He mutters.  
  
Okay, why is everyone acting so weird today? David, and now Max? He's being so unusually passive.  
  
"Thanks for the picture, by the way." You sneer. "Real lovely. I think I'll frame it."  
  
He looks confused. But it's only for a moment, then he realises.  
  
"Oh. That."  
  
"Yeah.  _That_."  
  
The 'you little shit' goes unsaid but implied. You're trying to rile him up, but not too much.  
  
"I thought that-" He cuts himself off, frowning. Just what is going on in that prepubescent head of his?  
  
"That what? That'd I'd appreciate it?" You laugh sharply. Your irritation is obvious.  
  
"Nothing. Doesn't matter."  
  
"I think I'll be the one to judge that, thank you very much."  
  
"I said it doesn't matter." Oh, now he's getting annoyed? Little fuck. He has  _no_ right.  
  
"Listen here, shithead." You hiss at him. "I don't know what you're trying to do here, but if you think I'm gonna let this go, you don't know a damn thing."  
  
"Jesus, what the fuck's got you so angry?"  
  
"Oh, what's got me so angry? I wonder, I sure fucking  _wonder_ Maxie." You grit your teeth.  
  
"It's just a nickname, calm down already!"  
  
Your hot blood suddenly runs cold. Right. He doesn't know.  
  
You always forget that. He acts so much like they did. Like he knows what he's doing. Like he knows what it means to you.  
  
But he doesn't.  
  
"I..." You swallow, all your self-confidence suddenly crashing to the ground. You go to tug at your sleeve out of habit, and whimper. Fucking right hand, shit. This is gonna be more a pain than you thought.  
  
Max seems pretty thrown by your attitude. His hands are help up, defensively. You've been obviously annoyed at him before. But anger is new.  
  
"Whatever. If I find another one of your works of 'art' in my fucking cabin, I'll do a lot more than make you scrub the toilets for two weeks."  
  
And with that you storm out of the kitchen. Everyone in the mess hall looks confused at your sudden entrance.   
  
The feeling of having so many eyes watching you, assessing you, _judging_ you starts to make your head spin. It really is like high school all over again. Your stomach drops, and the last splash of confidence you had trickles down the drain of anxiety and panic.  
  
You calm yourself enough to walk out of the door like a fairly ordinary person, and then bolt for the amphitheatre. No one will be there at this time. Preston's the only one who might, but you saw him in the hall. It's unlikely he'll go there afterwards. He spends more time at the shared area where they all have their little activities.  
  
This has all been building up into one shitstorm of a crying session. Last night wasn't too bad. Sure, you got triggered into remembering a massively horrific time in your life, but you didn't really get to let it all out. You shoved down the tears after the initial few minutes.  
  
Now a session can last for a while. The last one you had was just after you dropped out of college and moved back home. And boy was it a doozy. You were in your room for about four hours. Three hours of crying, one for recovery. Had to wash your face to make it look like you were fine. Couldn't have your parents questioning you about it. You know their reaction wouldn't be great.  
  
 _What have you got to cry about? You chose to drop out. Ungrateful little girl.  
  
_ They might not have said it out loud, but you knew that's what they thought. That you wasted their money. Their time. And that you leeched off of them. You'd heard one of the neighbours saying it. How she wouldn't put up with her children being so 'lazy and entitled'.  
  
Every bad thing you've ever thought about yourself rings in your ears. The tears aren't here yet, but they'll come. You can feel it.  
  
When you reach the theatre, you're almost out of breath. Running had been hard, since you couldn't really move your right arm too much. Couldn't make a fist and all that.   
  
You force yourself to walk a bit further, and make your way behind the stage curtains. You sit down against one of the walls, and lean your head back against it. Your hand hurts. Your heart hurts. Everything hurts.  
  
Ah, and here they come. The tears. Tears of frustration, sadness, anger— all of 'em. The whole gang's here.  
  
You exhale shakily. This was bound to happen sooner or later. You just hope no one comes after you. You're not going to be able to explain this one away.  
  
A hope that is quickly dashed when you hear one of the curtain's being pulled back. You don't even bother to look. It doesn't matter who it is. Your life is ruined no matter what.  
  
Whoever they are, they're quiet. Standing still. Maybe you imagined it? Could be the wind after all.  
  
"Are you- Are you  _crying_?"  
  
Wait... that voice.  
  
"M-Max?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOA HO HO ISNT THAT A CLIFFHANGER FOR YA
> 
> just call me stephen king or idk someone who's good at cliffhangers??? listen. i dont read okay i know its a shock. but i especially dont read horror books bc im a massive coward.
> 
> tbh u probs saw it coming. im not great at setting stuff up but i try my best!!! and thats what counts
> 
> i tried to make this longer to compensate for the wait but i hope it doesnt feel dragged out bc of it. thats always a worry i have.
> 
> thanks for all ur comments and kudos and just for reading it as usual!!! ur all great!!!! love u!!!!
> 
> the title is a reference to the song not the film btw. listen. im not good at titles. im just gonna rip them off until i die k thnx
> 
> til the next time folks!!


	9. A Particular Point of View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHATS GOOD MY FRIENDS HERE I AM BACK AT IT AGAIN
> 
> it's been a while huh. ive had some trouble at home so sorry this wasnt done sooner but ya know life dont stop happening and shit cause i got things to write. inconsiderate bastard
> 
> anyways, this chapter is near and dear to my heart so i had to make sure to get it perfect. the thing with writing first or second pov fics is u cant always show how others feel and what theyre doing. which is why its good to slip this kinda stuff in.
> 
> as always, thanks for all the comments kudos ect. i assure you i read every one of them and i am so flattered that so many people like this fic cause honestly i literally started this just for me lol
> 
> so!!! i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. seeya at the end

You're crying. He can see that, even in the dim light the both of you are currently in. It filters through the cheap fabric of the stage's curtains.  
  
Hell, even if he couldn't see it, he'd know. The shallow breathing and quiet sobs are quite telling.  
  
Max is not a creature of empathy, but this situation feels distressingly familiar.  
  
He remembers tears that threatened to fall. He remembers David's face, a mixture of sadness and sympathy.  
  
And he remembers the feeling of being unwanted. Unneeded.  
  
How could he forget?  
  
_I told you._  
  
**_They didn't care.  
  
_** He chest hurts. He doesn't know why. Well, okay, he does but he's just going to shove those repressed feelings back down where they belong.  
  
"Why... Why are you crying?"  
  
"Oh gee!" You laugh, and it's so obviously fake that it makes him cringe. "I-I don't know, I wonder!"  
  
He has no idea what he's supposed to say, or do. Your body is coiled tightly, knees up and back hunched, like a snake waiting to strike. He doesn't understand.  
  
"Sunshine?"  
  
The noise you let out after hearing that name is somewhere between another sob and hysterical laughter. Max is beginning to regret several recent choices.  
  
"Why does that word make you so..." He searches for the right word, but eventually settles on just gesturing to your current state. "so like this?!"  
  
He hears you try to slow your breathing, and watches as your body begins to relax. You tilt your head backwards, and let your legs fall to the sides. He winces as he sees your injured hand hit the floor as your arms lay limply beside you.  
  
He can't decide if he prefers this eerily calm shit you've got going on, or if the wounded animal thing was better.   
  
"Do you really want to know?"  
  
Your voice is different too. He shifts awkwardly, this whole scene becoming weirder and weirder.   
  
He thought it was just an irritating nickname. But clearly something's up.  
  
"Uh... yeah?"  
  
You roll your head and meet his gaze. It's severely uncomfortable. Your eyes are vacant, he can't make out any kind of emotion.  
  
He liked the anger better than this.  
  
"It's not a story for kiddies, you know." You chuckle and it's somehow  _worse_ than the fake as fuck laugh from before. It sounds wrong. "There's no happy ending here."  
  
He looks away, and scuffs his shoe across the wooden floor of the amphitheatre.  
  
"Yeah, well, not like happy endings even exist anyways." He shrugs, trying to act casual instead of massively freaked out. "We're all aimlessly wandering around on a floating rock in space and one day we're all gonna die."  
  
There's a long pause after his remark. Max can't help but think he's fucked up again. He doesn't even know how he fucked up the first time.  
  
It wasn't meant to be like this. But looking back, he did notice you had this strange look on your face when he first called you by the nickname. He was too busy being pleased that he got under your skin to pay it any real attention.  
  
And he ignored the fact you didn't want anyone else to hear him call you sunshine. He assumed that was because you didn't want it to be a new thing, like when you first came to the camp and Nikki almost got everyone to call you 'Not-Gwen'.   
  
"I've missed that scathing wit of yours, Maxie."  
  
Huh. You haven't called him that in a while. It's with faux affection, because he's certain that there's no way you can be feeling anything whilst you're like this.  
  
Also, you most likely hate his guts.  
  
"Mm." You hum, as if in thought. But everything about you still seems hollow and wrong. "I don't think I want to relive that particular nightmare today."  
  
You say that like it's a fact. There isn't an ounce of humour in your statement.  
  
He can't help but be reminded of that time when he pushed David to his tipping point. The rain and the bonfire. How he even managed to make him swear. He broke supports he probably shouldn't have, and he still feels lucky that it all didn't come crashing down.   
  
So he won't push this.  
  
He shuffles closer, still avoiding any eye contact. He's pretty much right in front of you now, and he realises he hasn't got any plan. Why is he even still here?  
  
"Why are you even here, Max?"  
  
Heh, jinx.  
  
"Why'd you even come after me? You gonna use this against me too?"  
  
Normally there'd be spite in those words, and the fact there's not makes a cold feeling settle in the pit of his stomach.  
  
"No!" He replies, a little too quickly, to both your surprise.  
  
He can feel your stare boring into him, and some little part of him hopes you can't read minds.  
  
"I-I... I just... Look, I don't know, okay? You were acting all weird and stuff so I followed you." He rubs at his neck, then puts his hand back in his hoodie pocket. "You've been different lately. Like the whole fire thing."  
  
"The fire?"  
  
Oh shit. Should he lie? Is there any point in trying?  
  
He lets out a sigh, scuffs his shoe again, and forces himself to look at you.  
  
"Yeah. You were staring at the burning tree and it was freaky. It kept getting bigger and you weren't even moving. So I-"  
  
"You were the one. The one who chucked that rock at me."  
  
Your eyes are wide, and a sense of relief settles over him that there's at least  _something_ in them. Curiosity, probably.  
  
"That's me. Your knight in shining armour."  
  
Is now the time for jokes? Probably not. But he's using humour as a self-defence mechanism. He usually relies on being a little shit and hoping people will leave him alone. But that'd be even worse than joking.  
  
"You..." Your face twists. "Why would you- I don't-"  
  
"I wasn't gonna leave you there to just, I don't know, burn up! Jesus, I'm not that awful."  
  
That's debatable, but it feels like the truth. He couldn't just run and save his ass, knowing you were back there, possibly dying.  
  
"But you  **hate** me."  
  
What the hell gave you that idea?  
  
Oh. Probably the uh, constant trying to get revenge for the toilet thing.  
  
You're an annoyance, or you were—whatever—but he doesn't hate you. You're more tolerable than some of the other people at the camp.   
  
But fuck if he's gonna say that.  
  
"I hate everything. You aren't special." He scoffs. "Besides, if anyone found out I didn't help, I'm pretty sure I'd be in trouble."  
  
Why can't he be a normal human and not act so dismissive? Right, 'cause he was never taught how to deal with this shit. Not by his school, or his peers, or his... family.  
  
"Anyways! That's why I came. To make sure you don't like, kill yourself. Or something."  
  
The look you're giving him makes Max think that was maybe the wrong thing to say. He opens his mouth, but any words he has disappear when you narrow your eyes.  
  
"I don't get it. Why are you suddenly acting like this? Like you, like you give a shit?"  
  
Well, he did say he'd rather face the anger than the emptiness.  
  
"I-"  
  
"You just, you don't make any sense! You terrorise me for punishing you for some shit  _you_ did to me first, then you rescue me, then terrorise me some more and then you come to check on me!" You groan in frustration. "What is your deal, kid?!"  
  
He resists the urge to back away. He can see your eyes glistening, and he really doesn't want you to cry again.  
  
It's funny, because for a while that's what he did want. In his initial rage at what you had him do. But seeing it in real life is different. It makes him feel things he doesn't want to feel.  
  
"Listen... This is about that picture, right?"  
  
You nod.  
  
"Ugh. I fuckin' knew Neil didn't put it in your cabin when he said he did."  
  
The look of confusion on your face would be amusing if this weren't all so fucked.  
  
"Look, I drew that thing ages ago. When I first called you 'sunshine'." He doesn't miss the way you visibly flinch. "I told Neil to go put it in your cabin, since I'm pretty sure David was like stalking me that day to make sure I didn't do anything."  
  
He's nearly certain that David knows something is up between the two of you, but he can't accuse Max without proof. So he tries to keep an eye on either one of you to make sure nothing happens.  
  
"Neil's the only one besides me who can pick locks. Says he learned it when he was bored or some shit, I don't know. Anyways, so he was meant to put it in there way back when and he fuckin' said he did it but he clearly didn't." He growls. "That shithead. I knew you would've had more of a reaction to it."  
  
"S-So... you did it a while back?"  
  
"Yeah. I don't know what's going on with your thing about the nickname and shit, but I was just trying to provoke you." He admits. "I just wanted to annoy the shit out of you, and I knew that it'd get some kind of a reaction."  
  
"Wait... how did you know?"  
  
Well, if he's gone this far, what's the point in hiding anything.  
  
"You remember when you hit your head 'cause of David's stupid zip-line shit?" He takes your silence as an affirmation. "I followed the both of you back when he helped you. And then I followed you back to your cabin."  
  
He fidgets, an unpleasant tightness forming in his chest.  
  
"I heard you uh, mumbling to yourself. Talking about how you're 'the worst' and 'just awful'. I figured you were being dramatic."  
  
You look mortified. He doesn't know what to make of that. He never really thought that you actually believed it, but the possibility of that being true is dawning on him.  
  
"Then you laughed to yourself and said something about how someone was right or something, that you're 'just a bundle of sunshine and rainbows'. And, I don't know, I guess it stuck with me. I thought if nothing else 'hey, I'll piss her off'."  
  
And now Max has no idea what to do because you're crying again. How could he ever, even for a second, have wanted  _this_ ?  
  
It's not satisfying. He doesn't feel better now he's seen you like this. Something about all of it is just off.  
  
Then it hits him.  
  
It's not just the scenery that's similar. Backstage, trying to keep it all in, feeling useless.  
  
You remind him of himself.  
  
And that's fucking terrifying.  
  
He can see parts of himself in you. He  **really** hopes this is just his ability to empathise kicking in for the first time.  
  
Because if not, and you're more similar than either of you know...  
  
"Oh my God." You laugh, and it actually sounds somewhat normal. Besides the hiccup of a sob that comes afterwards. "Th-That's it. That's where you got it from?"  
  
He nods, dumbfounded. He's not sure what you're even talking about.  
  
The nickname? But why would you be laughing about that?  
  
Another laugh bubbles from your throat, and you bring your left arm up and scrub at your eyes. Max can no longer tell what he wants. Is this better? Did he help in some fucked up way?  
  
"Wow." You sigh in relief(?) and shake your head. "That's funny. Well, I mean, it's not really funny but also it is. This whole time... and it was my fault. In a weird roundabout way."  
  
You fix him with a glare, and he shrinks down.  
  
"You ever follow me again and I'll kill you, Maxie."  
  
Okay so he has no idea what's happening any more. You've been through so many different emotions tonight that he is both bewildered and afraid.  
  
He watches as you slump back, and this time it isn't like the relaxed pose you had before. Back then it seemed like your body was separate from your mind and was honestly kinda freaky. Your hands are in your lap, legs properly crossed instead of the weird way you were sitting before.  
  
"Fucking Christ." You sob, and oh God, why won't you stop crying. "This is just... I don't even fucking know."  
  
"I uh." He swallows. This might be the first time he's felt nervous in a while. "I don't... I'm... sorry?"  
  
He intended for that to cool the waterworks down, but you actually seem to be crying more. He feels so,  _so_ , not okay with all of this shit.   
  
With no clue what to do, he sits down next to you, back leaning against the wall behind you both. You don't make any move to stop him, or even to look his way.  
  
"I don't know what's going on." He says bluntly. "I-I don't know why you're like this, what your deal is, and I'm just... I'm sorry, okay?"  
  
Max would rather die than have to be this sincere all the time. It hurts. Why can't all problems in the world be solved with sarcasm and ignoring emotions?  
  
"I'm sorry for all of it!" And now he's panicking. "The fucking photo thing with the snake, the dirty looks, the nickname, everything!"  
  
You let out a choked noise and for fuck's sake how is he making this worse?! He's apologising! That's meant to be a nice thing, or whatever!  
  
"I-I didn't- This, I never meant-"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He shuts up immediately. Even through all your weeping he could make that out.  
  
You lift your head up, and look sideways at him.  
  
"No one's... N-No one's ever really apologised to me like that before. I mean, sure, f-for little things. But never for something this important."  
  
Well, it seems empathy really has awakened in him, because his heart hurts and all he can think about is David and the pizza place.  
  
He had felt the same way, until that moment.  
  
"To think... A fucking kid half my age is the first one to ever,  **ever** , say sorry f-for making me feel bad." There's a tremble to your voice, and he only hopes you don't start crying again. "Just... fuck."  
  
"Yeah." He agrees quietly, unsure of what else to say. "Fuck."  
  
That pulls a chuckle from you. A real one, for once.  
  
"You asked what it meant to me. What..." He can see you visibly wince. "What 'sunshine' means to me. You still wanna know?"  
  
Honestly? He isn't sure. But he can't back down now.  
  
He nods silently.  
  
You breathe out shakily, and close your eyes.  
  
"I made a friend. My first friend. In senior year of high school. Pretty pathetic, right?"  
  
Max already feels uncomfortable. You really  _are_ more similar than he'd thought. He's not exactly Mr. Popular back home.  
  
"And this friend. I, uh, I told her a lotta shit. All my problems basically. Because I thought, hey, isn't that friends do? They comfort each other and shit. Like I'd even fucking know."  
  
He hopes this isn't going where he thinks it is.  
  
"And so I told her basically how my parents don't care enough to try to understand me, to try and listen to what I'm going through." Your voice is picking up speed, agitation clear. "I told her that I most likely had depression, and that nobody gave enough of a shit to try and get me help. I told her that hey, sometimes it hurts so much, I gotta let the hurt out in another way, y'know?"  
  
He does. He wishes he didn't know what you meant, because that means he's been saying to you, someone who's-  
  
"And then, get this, she just up and stops talking to me!" You laugh, and he's not happy to note you're back to faking it. Though he can't exactly blame you.  
  
"She, she just starts drifting away because she made friends with some popular kids and I'm scared because  ** _of course I am_**  because she knows aaaaaall this personal shit about me and could just tell it to anyone at any time!"  
  
You must notice the way he flinches at the sudden movements you make, because you quickly slump back down.  
  
"And I snapped. I lashed out at her." Your voice is much quieter and it's really not any better. "I got suspended, which let me tell you, my parents were  _so_ happy about."  
  
He hates talking about family, but he'll endure it. He hasn't got much choice.  
  
"And then what I feared most happened. She told someone. One of her asshole 'friends'. He humiliated me in front of loads of people, and then called me by that name. Because 'I'm all sunshine and rainbows'."  
  
Suddenly the weight of his actions hit him. He's only a child, he couldn't have known. He didn't. But still...  
  
"So everyone starts calling me sunshine for the rest of the year. Even people who aren't in on the 'joke'." Please don't break down, please don't break down. "My grades suffer and I skip class a couple of times, which means of course my parents just give me disappointed looks all the time. Because that's what you do. You don't ask what's wrong you just assume your worthless daughter is being a slacker."  
  
This is so much worse than he could've imagined. You wipe at your eyes again, and he can't even hope that you won't cry. You deserve to.  
  
"Then I go to the first college that accepts me because I barely graduated at all and I'm lucky anyone even wants me. And then I fuck that up too. Because that's just who I am, Maxie. A collection of fuck ups in the guise of a human being."  
  
Jesus. You really do think that shit about yourself.  
  
"So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Well done for unlocking my Tragic Backstory™. Hope you had a fun time."  
  
You do the humour thing too. He's really hating all these similarities.  
  
The way you've moved to sit now is exactly how he sat back here when he had to go through his bullshit. Knees against your chest, arms around them. Not the defensive position you initially had. You're just sad and trying to contain it.  
  
Max has no idea why he does what he does next, but damn does he sure do it.  
  
He leans in and hugs you. Not the half a second hug he gave David. He wraps his tiny arms around your right side, as far as they'll go, and attempts to actually try and comfort you with physical proximity.  
  
"I know what it's like to have shitty parents."  
  
It's a confession, almost. Like he should be ashamed. Like it's his fault. That's probably because deep down, he believes he is.  
  
And he'll keep that belief deep down inside him for as long as he can.  
  
"Hell, they didn't even care enough to sign me up for an actual camp. Just wanted me out of their way, I guess."  
  
You stiffen, whole body rigid and tense. Oh no. He's said too much.  
  
His attempts to pull away are thwarted by your considerably larger arms winding themselves around him and holding him even closer.   
  
He is  _not_ blushing. His heart is  _not_ thumping. Anyone who thinks he even somewhat likes this is absolutely going to get murdered. Because he doesn't.  
  
He just not used to it. After all, he hasn't been hugged by anyone in a while.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Oh, no, fuck  **no** , you can't be the one apologising. Not like this. He is not going to fucking cry as well. That's not happening.  
  
"I'm sorry you've got shitty parents too, Max."  
  
If he keeps internally screaming, there's no way he'll cry, right?  
  
"The fact you can understand even a little of what I've been through..." Your voice is trembling again and that is not helping him right now. "It isn't right. You're just a kid."  
  
He feels something sliding into his hair, and realises it's your injured hand.  
  
"Just... a kid."  
  
You begin to gently card your fingers through his hair. The one that aren't wrapped up, anyways.  
  
It doesn't really feel that nice, but he lets it happen. He pretends not to know why.  
  
But once again, he does. He really does. Because this is the closest he's ever felt to being comforted in a  _long_  time.  
  
"Yeah, well..." He fumbles for words. "Lots of people got parents that're awful, even when they're younger than me."  
  
"That doesn't make it feel any better though, does it?"  
  
He wants to know how the fuck you know exactly what he's thinking.  
  
As if reading his mind, you reply.  
  
"I told myself the same thing as a kid."  
  
How the fuck did you keep how alike the two of you are under wraps? Was it obvious? Did he just never notice?  
  
Despite how messed up some of the other camper's families might be, they at least gave enough of a shit to send thoughtful gifts and come see what their kids had been up to. He gets the feeling your parents wouldn't have either.  
  
He's not crying. That's definitely sweat.   
  
The way you're playing with his hair is actually becoming way more soothing than he'd like. He feels weak, and vulnerable, and it's awful.  
  
But it's also not.  
  
"Man." You chuckle. "Our lives are just so..."  
  
"Fucked up?" He mumbles into your hoodie. He definitely didn't push his face into it to hide his tears. That don't exist.  
  
"Yep."  
  
Max isn't sure how long the two of you sit there, with you cradling him and him acting like he doesn't know why he isn't shoving you away.  
  
He feels your grip on him loosen, and assumes that your arms must be getting tired. He wiggles out, stands up, and tries to covertly rub his eyes. All whilst also praying to whatever deity is out there that the low light of the room will prevent you from seeing how red they must be.   
  
"Hey, Max?"  
  
He puts his hands back in his pockets, and turns around to face you, attempting to be nonchalant.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You tell anyone about this, and you're scrubbing those fucking toilets again."  
  
He blinks at your sudden threat, then scoffs.  
  
"And if  _you_ tell anyone about this, I'll uh..." Shit, quick, think of a comeback. "I'll make you sunny-side up eggs!"  
  
Not only is that a dumb joke in a normal situation, but holy fuck after hearing all that the first thing he did was make a joke about it. He really is a real piece of-  
  
Your laughter interrupts him.  
  
"Oh m-my God. That's..." You snort, bursting into a small fit of giggles. "That's such a shit joke. Sure your folks didn't sign you up for comedy camp, Maxie?"  
  
Your teasing grin lets him know that's a retort and he deserves it.  
  
He should probably still be hurt, right? But it's weird. Joking about this shit with you feels... okay? It's like a secret. Like you're both in on something nobody else knows.  
  
Which, he supposes, you both are.  
  
He rolls his eyes, but can't get rid of the small smile that forces it's way onto his face.  
  
"We better get going, before Davey sounds the alarm that we're missing."  
  
You laugh again, and rise up from your sitting position.  
  
"Yeah, that sounds like something he'd do."  
  
"Oh, trust me. He has."  
  
"You'll have to tell me about it sometime."  
  
Max clicks his tongue, faking annoyance.   
  
"Ugh, if you really want me to, I _guess_ I can tell you all the times David's been an embarrassing, overbearing shit."  
  
He prides himself on managing to make you laugh again, and doesn't pretend like he's got no idea why this time.  
  
He likes you.  
  
Wow, this is so not what he had planned when he started plotting his revenge.  
  
But he supposes it turned out all right.  
  
As the two of you walk out, side by side, he looks up and sees your smile for the first time.  
  
Yeah, it definitely did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOW THIS WAS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. is it bad i relate hard to max? it probably is right? eh, whatever, its fine
> 
> anyway, man, i really hope y'all actually like this and how it fits in the story. honestly i planned it for a bit later but things dont always go the way u think they will. its important to adapt!!
> 
> i say whilst continuing to fall into all my routines and habits. but my self hypocrisy is an issue for another time and place
> 
> now that the sad feelings are outta the way, we can get back to objective a: banging that sweet sweet cinnamon roll davey
> 
> SEEYA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER


	10. Ten's a Crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO FINALLY MY BACKUPS MADE OUT OF PARANOIA CAME IN HANDY WHEN MY NIECES DELETED THE PAGE I KNEW IT I WAS JUSTIFIED IN MY ANXIETY
> 
> anyways hi how r u i had a nice thing written here about being late bc i got into haikyuu and i love all my volleyball sons but yknow they DELETED it but whatever im not bitter at all
> 
> boy do i hate kids. so glad i decided never to have them when i was like 8
> 
> enjoy the chapter folks and thanks for all your comments and kudos and views and yes!!! especially the people who are like 'im sure you are reading this but u dont like to comment back' because yes i am reading them and i love them and i love YOU random citizen
> 
> man im tired

Okay. So. You've just relived your frankly scarring past, told it all to a kid half your age, said kid who you thought despised you until about half an hour ago, and the both of you had a weirdly intimate hugging session that somehow wasn't that bad?  
  
As the both of you are walking, you catch Max's eye and see a tiny smile twitch onto his lips. Could he be this nice all the time? You hope he doesn't go back into asshole mode as soon as you're with the others. Or well, not as much of an asshole as he'd been over the past week. 'Cause you seriously doubt he could be in this camp for more than two minutes without making some snarky remark. And you don't blame him.  
  
Not now that you know his parents weren't exactly the caring type.  
  
The thought still makes your chest hurt. Though, it's more of a burning sensation now. The sadness has faded into anger. If they had bothered to take care of him, maybe he'd be a half-normal kid. But at this rate he could turn out like you.  _Worse_ than you.   
  
Fuck. That.  
  
You stroll back to the mess hall in a strangely serene silence. Once or twice one of you will make a remark—usually about David—but other than that, you're pretty quiet. There's less of a need for words around each other once you've revealed such private details about your lives to each other. This is definitely the closest you have ever come to having someone you can relate to. Kind of sad that he's a child, but hey, at least he has someone now too.  
  
Wow, are you looking on the bright side for once? Holy shit. Go you. Man, you should tell other people about your feelings more often.  
  
Well. Maybe not just yet. One thing at a time.  
  
As you get closer to your destination, a small and familiar figure comes into view  
  
"Max! Nikki and I were wondering where you ran off to." Neil gives him a weird look. "Are you... okay?"  
  
"Terrific." He deadpans, and you can't tell if it's the truth or not. "What, you couldn't eat lunch by yourselves?"  
  
"Uh. No, well, yes?" He blinks, eyes switching between focusing on the two of you. A small frown creases his brow. "Wait, where were you?"  
  
You place a hand on Max's shoulder, and narrow your eyes at him.  
  
"I caught little Maxie here trying to escape. I mean, geez, booking it to the edge of the woods? Not exactly subtle."  
  
He catches on immediately, and scowls up at you.  
  
"Whatever. Would've worked if your stupid legs weren't so long." Then he smirks. "And the next time, I'll make sure not to be so noisy."  
  
Okay he is far too good at lying. It's concerning, but at the moment it's also useful. Not that Neil is particularly hard to trick. He's definitely buying it.  
  
You push Max towards him, and then go inside the mess hall proper. Lunch is absolutely over by now, and you hope you not being there didn't cause some sort of disaster to happen. Again. You cannot have another fire so soon after the last.  
  
It would appear only Ered, Dolph and Preston are still inside. The former has headphones on and is clearly to listening to some kind of rock song. The latter two are engaged in a debate about the arts.  
  
"Nein! Theatre is is no way superior to painting itself! There is nothing more wonderful than the stroke of brush on canvas!"  
  
"Have you ever SEEN a musical?!"  
  
"Only one of yours, and if they're anything to go by, all of them are  **SCHEI **ß** E**!"  
  
"Ooookay boys!" You put yourself between the increasingly angry kids, planting your hands on the table they're sat at. Then grimacing as you remember the current state of your right one. "What's going on here? Why are you arguing?"  
  
"He started it!" Preston accuses. "He said that my last play was utter 'müll'! I don't even know what that means but it's clearly not a compliment!"  
  
It's definitely not.  
  
"He is the one who retaliated so childishly!" Dolph growls. "He said that mein drawing of mein favourite dog was 'so bad that even garbage would shudder in it's presence'!"  
  
Wow that is pretty harsh. And slightly hilarious.  
  
"Listen, listen, there's no need to get so worked up about it!" You attempt a disarming smile. "Just, uh... chill?"  
  
You had meant that to be an order but it turned out like a suggestion. Oh well.  
  
"Hmph. As long as  _he_ stays away from me, we'll have no problems."  
  
"And as long as  _he_ doesn't insult mein art again, we'll be fine."  
  
Boy are these kids serious about their shit. You kinda envy how devoted they are to their interests. You lost any sort of passion about anything a while back.  
  
"Yeah, okay, well just don't start throwing stuff or fighting. 'Cause if I have to go get Gwen we'll all regret it."  
  
You remember the last time she had to break up a fight. It was between Harrison and Nurf, and it was more of a one-sided beat down but either way she was downright  **scary**. Probably because she'd been forced to abandon watching one of her favourite soaps.  
  
Preston huffs and sticks his nose back into his scripts, whilst Dolph pouts and turns to go back to drawing.  
  
Well, that went about as well as it probably could have. At least it's no Nerris and Harrison duelling incident. You still aren't sure how that fire started, and you don't care to look into it.  
  
You make sure Ered's okay, and ask her if anything went down after you left. She shrugs and says she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary after you 'totally like flipped and stormed out'. Which was put nicely.  
  
Though, she does show some concern. She asks if you're okay and actually looks a little worried.  
  
"I'm fine." You assure her. It feels less like a lie than usual. "Just had a bit of a moment."  
  
"Period?"  
  
Well, that's blunt.  
  
"Uh, nope. Just. Normal emotions and hormones. Thanks for asking."  
  
She nods and goes back to completely shutting out everything around her. That would be a nice skill to have.  
  
Before you can even turn around the door slams open. The sudden noise makes you leap about two feet in the air, and you whip round faster than lightning.  
  
"Ah, there you are."  
  
And of course. Things were going well for you, so of course the universe had to turn it all around.  
  
"David." You say, without even stuttering. "I take it you were, um, looking for me?"  
  
"I was."  
  
He sounds and looks concerned, which makes you concerned. What's he so concerned about? What's with the concern? _WHY THE CONCERN, DAVID?_  
  
Weirdly, he looks around, noting the kids in the room. Obviously making some kind of important decision in his head, he beckons you to follow him. Which you do.  
  
This silence isn't so comfortable. You're back to being anxious, nervous, and just generally Not Okay. What could he want? Why was he looking for you? Is it to do with earlier? Or did you fuck up with something else?  
  
Oh, and why are the two of you inside your cabin?  
  
He pauses, and sighs deeply. And you know what kind of sigh it is. You've heard it so many times, though never from him.  
  
Your gut clenches, and what could you possibly have you done to make David— **David** , of all people **—** disappointed?  
  
Then you see it. Or rather, them.  
  
The beers. On your bed. Not under it. Like they should be. Like they were.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
He turns around to face you, looking more serious than usual.  
  
"I think you can understand what I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"David, listen, I-"  
  
He holds a hand up, and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, his face is almost... stern. It makes you gulp.  
  
"I didn't think I'd find something like this in here. I was just searching for a document I'd misplaced, and happened upon them."  
  
His gaze falls to the side, and you can practically feel the displeasure radiating off of him. It's not great.  
  
"Look, I'm going to be straightforward here. Are you an alco-"  
  
"No!" You blurt out immediately, and then realise that makes you look even guiltier. "I-I uh. I'm not. I just like the taste, is all." Well it's not a lie.  
  
"Right." Some of the tension in the air eases, though it's still pretty stifling. "And you got these yesterday, in town, I assume?"  
  
You nod, unwilling to speak more than needed.  
  
"Did Gwen-"  
  
"No!" Another outburst. This time it is a lie, but fuck you can't let her take any of the blame. "I bought them. It was all me."  
  
David does not look like he believes you.  
  
"But you're underage."  
  
Ah. Now this you can quickly solve.  
  
"Nope. It was my birthday yesterday." You grin. Sort of. It's a wobbly one. "I'm twenty one. Now legal, in every single way."  
  
Why. Why did you say that. That. That was definitely a flirt. That was flirting. Subconscious flirting. Very weird and awkward subconscious flirting. As he's probably about to fire you or something.  
  
At least, seeing as it's David, that little remark will fly right over his he-  
  
He's blushing.  
  
Well. Shit.  
  
Now you're blushing. Because he is.  
  
"Uh..." He pulls at his collar, and boy is it strange seeing him be just as uneasy as you. "Hap... Happy birthday?"  
  
You let loose a _v_ _ery_ attractive snort-giggle. The tension seems to seep away through the cracks of your old and rotting floorboards.   
  
"L-Listen!" His cheeks are still pink, and his lips are quivering slightly. "Having alcohol around here, i-it's not allowed! What if one of the kids were to find it?"  
  
"Sure would be a sight to see any of them drunk."  
  
You physically clap your good hand over your mouth. Fuck. You're blaming that one on Max. He got you so comfortable earlier, and now it's backfiring.  
  
David looks shocked. You've never acted this way in front of him before. At first you were just too uncomfortable to be so casual with your sort-of boss, then you had to deal with a crush, then your anxiety about said crush, and so on.   
  
"Sorry." You mumble. "Th-That just kinda... came out."  
  
He blinks, and tilts his head to the side. Then he steps closer. And then your heart starts to race, as you start to remember  _oh yeah I'm in love with him lol_ _._  
  
"You seem different." He says, and you cannot for the life of you decipher what tone of voice he's using. "Did something happen?"  
  
Nah, you only had a heart-to-heart with someone you thought hated your guts and wanted to torture you or whatever. No biggie.  
  
"I'm just uh, in, in a good mood?"  
  
"Uh huh." He says, clearly unconvinced. But you catch the smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth. "Well. That's certainly not a bad thing."  
  
Okay you are so confused right now. This interaction has taken so many turns in about three minutes that you're honestly a little dizzy.  
  
He coughs, gesturing back to your bed and the case of beers.  
  
"Now. About this whole... thing."  
  
You hold your breath.  
  
"Look I... I don't want to do anything. So I'm going to forget this ever happened, okay?" He looks at you, and you nod almost immediately. That is more than okay.  
  
"Good." He sighs, with relief this time. Then fidgets, suddenly solemn again.  
  
"I'll ah. Have to confiscate these. And if I find any more, then I may have to punish you more severely."  
  
That was definitely not flirting. That was definitely innocent words sounding so  _very_   inappropriate given your current feelings towards the speaker and hoo boy well if you aren't back to blushing like some teen after their first kiss.  
  
You swallow, and nod again, not trusting your mouth to let out anything but gibberish.  
  
He picks them up, gives you a small but still slightly tentative smile, and makes his way out of your cabin.  
  
As soon as he's out you fall back on the bed. Today has been a roller-coaster and Jesus Christ it's not even evening yet.  
  
Come to think of it, what is the time? You roll over a little and reach for it. You make sure to keep it inside the cabin at all times, because you know of those little shits would steal it. You are not having them break into your Tinder or something.  
  
Ugh. It's not even three. That's earlier than you thought. It felt like you spent hours with Max, though it was probably only closer to fourty or so minutes.  
  
You push your head into one of your pillows and groan. Well, you can at least check other stuff while you're here.  
  
Since you thought about it, what about Tinder? You somehow doubt that you have any matches (besides David) out here and you're not counting any of the other people you've previously matched with to send you a message.  
  
You open the app, and after a moment of loading, you're greeted by that pic of David again. You have to admit, it's a pretty cute picture. His smile is probably one of his best features, behind his endless kindness and compassion. And wow you sound like you've never had feelings for anyone before.  
  
Though, in a way, you haven't. Not like this. It sounds cliche, but hey, those things are based on real life.  
  
_What the hell_ _._ You think, in a far better mood than you have been for a while.  _Swipe right._  
  
And so you do. And you regret it almost instantly.  
  
That is, until you spot the 'it's a match!' thing pop up.  
  
Huh?  
  
What?  
  
Oh my God. This means David knows you have Tinder.  
  
Oh my God. This means David  _matched_ with you on Tinder.  
  
Honestly what the fuck even is this day. You've been through about seventy different emotions in the span of five hours and Lord it is getting tiring.  
  
And yet you can feel your little heart thump with glee.  
  
He swiped right! On you! What the fuck!  
  
When? Since the night you discovered it? Surely not. He couldn't have.  
  
You think back to earlier, in the kitchen. When you joked with him about him maybe having a crush on you.  
  
Maybe it's just wishful thinking but... it really seemed like it could be true. Didn't it?  
  
He froze up and got all red and then said that weird thing with the emphasis on 'joke' and 'friend'.  
  
If you acted that way, it would for sure be because you'd been caught out. But he isn't you.  
  
Ugh, people are so confusing and this whole thing wouldn't be worth the effort if he wasn't so damn adorable and nice and you hadn't totally already fallen head over heels for him.  
  
At least you're getting better at admitting your feelings to yourself. The first step to being a more responsible and healthy individual. Or one step somewhere along the line.  
  
But one step is all it takes.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
It's Sunday, so there's no 'formal' activities. The kids mostly stick to their little mish-mash area of camps, or in the mess hall. It isn't like Saturday where they can just run around free, however. They're not allowed too far into the woods, and you check up on them a lot more. Occasionally David will ask if they want him to set up something for them to do, and they almost always refuse.  
  
Today is no exception.  
  
So, here you all are, watching over these ten monsters until it's time for dinner. You, David, and Gwen are all looking after 3 kids each. Since Max doesn't have any kind of camp, he sticks by Neil and Nikki's, pestering them.  
  
You got Ered, Harrison and Space Kid. Not a bad line up to be honest.  
  
For the most part, Ered's fine on her own. Though you're making sure she doesn't try a 900 again any time soon. The board slipped and nearly decapitated you last time. Not to mention she almost broke her leg.  
  
Harrison you're more nervous about. However, since the fire, he seems to have calmed down his little feud with Nerris. It's kind of heartwarming to be honest. Bitter rivals teaming up to save your ass.   
  
Space Kid is by far the worst one. If he looks like he's about to die, then you'll step in. Otherwise he can do what he wants. You haven't forgotten the fact he practically shit on you. That absolutely cannot happen again. You felt violated.  
  
You lean on your left hand, keeping an eye on them all. You feel exhausted, but you can't neglect your duties as a counsellor. It's bad enough you got caught hiding beer. If something happens to one of the campers on your watch, you will definitely be fired.   
  
Or, in his own words, _punished_  by David.  ** _Severely._**  
  
The tiniest thrill runs up your spine. Dammit, this is not the time to fantasise about stuff like that! Watch those fucking kids, 'cause if any of them die, you'll be fantasising from prison! Or your bedroom. Are the two really so different?  
  
You stifle a yawn, and take a deep breath. Only three more hours. It's easy. You don't even have to lift a finger.  
  
So easy. You could just close your eyes, right? Just for a moment. For a little rest. Nothing bad will happen.  
  
Idiot, no! Of course it will! This is  _you_ we're talking about! The moment your eyes shut for something other than blinking, one of them will probably spontaneously combust or something.  
  
Fighting to keep yourself from giving into the sudden exhaustion you feel, you stretch out and groan.  
  
Huh. That's weird. The back of your neck feels hot for some reason.  
  
You look behind you, and are surprised to see David staring at you. Intently.  
  
Uh. Okay. What did you do this time?  
  
Oh God. Does he know you're like, super close to slacking off? Does he have a sixth sense for that shit or something?!  
  
You give him a shaky smile and a wave, and suddenly he looks away. As in, the complete opposite direction of you.   
  
Well. This day just gets more confusing the longer it goes on.  
  
You turn back around to watch the kids, and run a hand through your dishevelled hair.  
  
Just three more hours and then you're done. Gwen's on dinner shift and you can go relax. Maybe beat a level of Candy Crush or something. People still play that, right? Yeah.  
  
You can feel him staring at you again. The burning sensation returns to creeping up your neck.  
  
Three. More. Hours.  
  
And boy. Is it hell.  
  
The entire time, save for when you look his way, David stares at you. You just know he is. Like those iguanas or whatever have a third eye to see shadows above them. You can detect when the guy you like is gazing at you from a distance.  
  
That makes you sweat so much. Like, an uncomfortable amount.  
  
You're pretty sure it's noticeable, at least up close. Space Kid innocently asks what those 'weird circles' under your arms are. And bless that kid but one day you're gonna drop kick him into his beloved space. At least then one of you will be happy.  
  
It's getting close to the start of dinner. You hope.  
  
Chewing nervously on your lip, you get up from your seat and make your way towards Harrison and his stage. Doing something is better than sitting around wondering why the fuck David won't take his eyes off you for a second. Are you really that much of a fuck up?  
  
Well, yeah, you are. But still. It's doing a number on this sudden confidence you got from Max.  
  
Speaking of him, he's also been acting a little off. Less of a shit than usual. You suppose it's to be expected now that he's gotten a few of his problems out of his mind, but you're on edge.  
  
After confirming that no, Harrison does not need your help and this trick is meant to work like that, you begin to walk back to the bench. Well, you would, if you didn't slam straight into Gwen. And than fall ass over tits.  
  
Graceful. Majestic. You are truly like a gazelle. That has three legs and a serious itch on it's genitals.  
  
You can hear some of the kids snicker, including Max that  _traitor_ _,_   but at least Gwen doesn't openly laugh in your face.  
  
After helping you to your feet and apologising for startling you, she gives you a Look. You are not sure what kind of Look. But you know it is a Look.  
  
"...Um, is everything okay, Gwen?"  
  
"No. Not really."  
  
Off to a great start.  
  
"Right. C-Could you maybe tell me what's wrong?"  
  
She crosses her arms across her chest, tilting back on her heels and pretending to be nonchalant.  
  
"Well... I guess I could. If you haven't figured it out, that is."  
  
You are so not in the mood to be teased.  
  
"Gweeeen." You whine. It's pretty pitiful.  
  
A lazy smirk is the only answer you get.  
  
Two can play this game.  
  
You make an exaggerated flourish, and bow.  
  
"Please confess to me what it is you know, O Mighty Gwendolyn!"  
  
It quickly changes to a look of disgust.  
  
"Ugh, Jesus, fine! As long as you promise to never call me that again."  
  
"Deal."  
  
You want to get back to watching the campers, because this sort of distraction has never gone well before, but you're also interested in what she has to say. Usually Gwen only wants to talk about her trashy magazines or TV dramas.  
  
"Does David seem to be acting weird to you?"  
  
"Yes." You say, without hesitation. "Though it could be because he uh... caught me. With the beers."  
  
"Oh, I know." And you definitely know this Look. It is the Look of 'he bitched at me for it'.  
  
You wince. "Sorry."  
  
"It's whatever." She waves it off, with a roll of her eyes. "But that's not it. That's not why."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why he keeps staring at you."  
  
"Oh." She noticed that. "Right. Yeah, I was kinda wondering about that."  
  
Gwen groans, as if in great pain.  
  
"Oh my GOD I cannot believe the both of you are oblivious morons."  
  
"Rude."  
  
You pout. Wait, what does she mean oblivious morons?  
  
"Wait, what do you mean oblivious morons?"  
  
"I mean, it's so abundantly clear to everyone but the two of you, that you both like each other!"  
  
It's said in a loud whisper. Which you didn't even know was possible.  
  
Also is she saying what you think she is? Is Gwen really just gonna come up here, and confirm all your thoughts?  
  
It would appear so.  
  
"Oh. Uh. Coo... Cool?"  
  
The unimpressed look makes you regret that reaction immediately. But your brain is still kind of processing everything.  
  
David... likes you. Like you like him. Gwen said so. Then again, Gwen reads a LOT of romance novels. She could be projecting. But what if she's not? She has known him longer after all.  
  
As you debate internally, your co-worker shakes her head.  
  
"I don't even know why I bother. Listen, I just came to say, make the eye-fucking a bit less obvious okay? Even if it is mostly on his side."  
  
"Right. Uh huh. Yeah." Wait did she say fucking? What?  
  
Gwen throws up her hands in exasperation.  
  
"Stop staring at each other so... like how you are! It's practically indecent! If three's a crowd, ten's something else!"  
  
"I mean with you around it's eleven so-"  
  
"So then it's even worse!" She nearly yells out of frustration. You're just having a hard time thinking before speaking today.  
  
"Sorry. I'll uh, try not to eye... eye-fuck him?"  
  
"I mean, do it all you want, just not around the campers. Pretty sure Nerris is writing some sort of fantasy AU fanfiction about you two."  
  
"Wait." You hiss. "Are you saying that the kids know about... about... about whatever this is?!"  
  
"The ones with eyes do, yes. So all of them. I mean Christ, I think even Nurf's figured it out."  
  
Oh that's great. Just wonderful. The children half your age know more about your love life than you do.  
  
Gwen checks her watch, then shoots you the Look again. The first one.  
  
"It's five now. I'm on dinner shift, so..."  
  
You narrow your eyes, trying to catch her meaning.  
  
She looks like she's about to have an aneurysm.  
  
"So maybe I don't know... go talk to him? Or something? Anything to stop the staring."  
  
That sounds like both a brilliant and horrid idea.  
  
"Will do, Gwen."  
  
You just can't get the whole 'think before you speak' thing down, can you?  
  
As she shepherds the kids towards the mess hall, you notice that David has been so quiet that it's out of character. He'll usually help with it or something, but he's just standing to the side, watching them go.  
  
When he hears you coming closer, his eyes snap to you, his face an expression you've never seen before. It makes your stomach do all kinds of weird butterfly shit whilst your heart tries to punch it's way out of your ribs.  
  
This can only end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THINGS GETTING PRETTY HOT IN HERE. THAT MILD PG-13 SPICE. GOTTA LOVE IT
> 
> in all seriousness i am so exhausted and i need to sleep but i wanted to get this out so bad and i hope its okay and i hope i have the next one out sooner than this one and i love you guys man you're all so great for reading this and being patient n shit
> 
> adios amigos


	11. Monday Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuugh i hope this turned out better than it sounded in my head cause romance is not my forte even though i love it so much. probs doesnt help ive never been in an actual relationship lol but y'know. i just love me some cute shit and idk why.
> 
> unfortunately i may not be updating for a while after this as my housing situation is currently not great. if i get a chance i will definitely try to but as i usually write a chapter in one sitting it might be a bit hard. so dont worry if i go away for a while i will definitely be back i promise!
> 
> ANYWAY thanks for all your comments and kudos as usual!! hope you enjoy

You're just a girl, standing in front of David, praying for the sweet release of death.  
  
Gwen said to talk to him about this... thing you both seem to have going on. But she didn't tell you what you're supposed to say. So now you're both just sort of locked in a weird staring contest.  
  
God, you feel hot. You hope he can't see how sweaty and gross you are.  
  
Well, maybe if he does he'll lose any semblance of attraction to you and then you won't have to go through this?  
  
Somehow you doubt it'll be that easy.  
  
"Um. So. David." Good start, no stuttering. "I was, uh, wondering if you... I-If you..."  
  
Okay you're losing it. Keep calm and cool and don't look into his beautiful eyes and  _this line of thought is not helping_.  
  
"I was wondering... If you maybe... Uh, maybe, perhaps..." Oh for fuck's sake.  
  
To his credit, David seems to be patiently waiting for you to finish. He's leaning back against the table of the 'science camp' with folded arms. That intense expression is not calming you down any though.  
  
"I was just... just wondering why you were um, st-staring at me."  
  
That is not what you were going to ask but any confidence you once had has been shot to the fucking moon.  
  
He tilts his head to the side, and looks slightly confused.  
  
"I was staring?"  
  
Jesus Christ no wonder Gwen called you both oblivious idiots.   
  
You wring your hands, and there isn't a doubt in your mind that you're blushing right now and he can absolutely tell.  
  
"Sorry." He chuckles, and the sound goes straight to your chest and makes your dumb little heart flutter. "I suppose I did keep looking your way."  
  
If that isn't the understatement of the year. You force out a quiet laugh, and tug at the sleeves of your hoodie.  
  
"It's just that..." He lifts a hand up to his hair, and runs his fingers through it. "W-Well I um. Do you have your phone on you?"  
  
That is not what you were expecting him to say. You shake your head, not really trusting your ability to form a sentence at the moment.  
  
His face falls. Fuck.  
  
"Oh. I, um. I had th-this whole thing planned and that... It's really not working out how I-I wanted it to."  
  
You have no idea what's going on. What 'whole thing'?  
  
"Oh dear." He sighs, looking embarrassed. Well that makes two of you. "This isn't... L-Look, you matched with me on Tinder, right?"  
  
Shit, is that what this is about? You gulp and nod your head, still unsure if you could get two words out without fucking up somehow.  
  
"Right. After I-I saw that I um... I sent you a message."  
  
You are never leaving your phone behind ever again. This all could've been so much easier.  
  
"You see, after you hurt your hand I... I was forced to confront myself on some things." His smile is a little strained, and his face is slowly turning redder and redder.  
  
"What things?" You blurt out, and immediately regret your own birth. Why can't you be normal in moments like this?  
  
He rubs at his neck, eyes darting about nervously.  
  
"I-I had a little talk with Gwen. And she um, gave me some advice! So here I am. Trying to use it." Another chuckle dies in his throat.  
  
Of course he did. That's why she seemed so sure of the two of you being on the same page about this stuff. Though you do wonder what kind 'advice' she gave him. You've seen some of the magazines she reads.  
  
"See, I sent the message because I thought it would be better than this. This being me rambling, and uh, not being able to look at you and-" His voice is getting higher and the words faster.  
  
"And I was just wondering if maybe, maybe you would like to-"  
  
"Y-Yes!"  
  
Great. Just. Amazing. You gave him an answer before he even finished his question. God, how desperate can one person be? He must think you're such a weirdo.  
  
But, it's David, so of course he doesn't.  
  
He looks a little puzzled for a moment, but his eyes quickly light up and his smile becomes a wide grin.  
  
"You'll go on a date with me? R-Really?"  
  
Oh fuck.  
  
The way he said that was so cute. Such a soft but excited tone and Lord you have fallen so hard for him that you didn't think you could go any further down this rabbit hole. But since you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling like an idiot, and your chest is almost painfully tight makes you reconsider that fact.  
  
"Um. Y-Yeah." You manage, but it's more a squeak than actual words.  
  
Somehow his grin gets even bigger  
  
"Tuesday!"  
  
You blink, and he must see your confusion.  
  
"Tuesday is when we can uh. Go out!" He stands up straight, coming closer to you. "Gwen said she'd cover for us then. I mean, her actual words were a little more..."  
  
If you thought his face was red before, it seems to surpass any known shade of the colour as he recalls their conversation. You don't even wanna know. You can imagine it wasn't exactly PG.  
  
"I-I understand. Tuesday, Tuesday's good." More than good. "So, ah, where will we g-go?"  
  
The town's pretty dead. The bar could make for a decent date, possibly. But that doesn't exactly seem like David's idea of a good time.  
  
"Well, I thought that maybe we could go camping together!"  
  
The enthusiasm with which he says that shouldn't surprise you, and yet it does.  
  
He is... something else. Only David would want to go camping for a first date. This is the guy you've decided to have feelings for.  
  
"Uh... sure?"  
  
The way his entire face brightens even more at your hesitant acceptance is adorable.  
  
It's worth it, you decide. Could be fun. You've never actually gone camping before, not even when you were a kid. If nothing else it'll be a new experience.  
  
And maybe you two will share a tent. Cuddled up. Alone.  
  
Yeah okay you shouldn't get ahead of yourself here. You can barely talk to him, let alone do anything... intimate.  
  
As if reading your thoughts he reaches out and squeezes your good hand in both of his own. Your face flares up and the contact sends small flashes of lightning down your spine.  
  
"I'm looking forward to it." His smile is softer now, and his voice less loud.  
  
Your mouth goes dry. He's really close. Like,  _really_ close  
  
"M-Me too." Aren't you the eloquent one?  
  
Unable to look away, you are able notice the way his eyes dart down to your lips. It was barely for a second, but you saw it all the same. It snaps you out of your mildly dazed state, and you pull away.  
  
If he kissed you, you're pretty sure you'd actually pass out. No exaggeration. And that would be fucking mortifying.  
  
No. There's plenty of time. As long as you don't fuck this up.  
  
He looks a little forlorn at the loss of your hand, but it quickly passes.  
  
"I'll see you on Tuesday then!" He pauses, then laughs sheepishly. "I mean, I'll see you before then obviously, but I meant- I was trying to..."  
  
Good to know you're both capable of being awkward.  
  
You giggle, and give him a nervous smile.  
  
"I, uh, got it. See you Tuesday."  
  
You both part your ways. He goes in the direction of the mess hall, presumably to check up on Gwen and the kids, and you head for your cabin.  
  
Two days. Two days and you'll be going on a date with David. Your first date in like, forever.  
  
Well, since it's camping, at least you don't have to worry about what you're gonna wear.  
  
Only about six hundred other things.  
  
Thank God for small mercies, eh?  
  
On your way back to your cabin, you pass David's. They're pretty close together after all.  
  
The door's ajar. You should probably check on that. He's not the kind who'd do something like leave it open.  
  
You peek inside warily. Spending the past month around these little fucks has taught you to go about your life with caution. More caution than you already were due to your crippling anxiety anyways.  
  
There's nothing out of place. Something is definitely up.  
  
You creep inside, taking care to look around for any hidden traps. Max would normally be suspect number one for that shit but, after what happened earlier, maybe not.  
  
Is this an invasion of privacy? Gwen and David both seem to have no problem going in and out of each other's cabins, but you're new and maybe there's different rules?  
  
Whatever. This is all just to check on things and make sure nothing's wrong.  
  
You scope out the room, carefully poking at anything that looks vaguely suspicious. It's all clean and neat, and kinda makes you feel like a slob.  
  
Your own place isn't a complete mess, but there's definitely a few things out of place and you have no intention of ever scrubbing the floor like David seems to. Seriously. You're pretty sure it's sparkling.  
  
In the midst of your investigation, you find yourself at his desk. You don't rummage through the papers, for fear of messing them up and causing the camp to be shut down or something. That'd be just your luck. You start to finally like it, and then it gets taken away from you. The very thought makes your stomach twist.  
  
However, you do notice the board propped up against the wall. It has pictures pinned to it; photos of the kids and counsellors.  
  
Your heart picks up again as you realise how much David really does love this place. He puts so much into it, and does his best to make every day a fun one. He doesn't always succeed, but hey, at least he tries. You admire that determination. That certainty of knowing this is what he wants.  
  
Nope. No thinking bad about yourself. Not now. Because then it'll start a whole cycle of _oh, I'm not good enough for him_ and _there's no way the date can go well when I'm so awful_ et cetera. You have two days. You are  **not** going to overthink this. He wants to give it a shot, and that's enough.  
  
No backing out.  
  
You continue to examine the board, and let out a small huff of laughter as you realise there's not a single picture of you on it. Which makes sense, since you haven't actually let anyone take one of you. Not counting Max and his little escapade.  
  
But there is something familiar on it. The postcard of the lake.  
  
It stands out because it's the only photo of the landscape, and because it's pinned in the centre. All the others arranged around it randomly.  
  
As if he couldn't get any cuter. That little gesture clearly meant a lot to him, and God you are in such trouble. Doesn't this guy have any flaws? Even when he's being too enthusiastic and excitable he's pretty damn adorable.  
  
Meanwhile you are just a whole bundle of issues tied together in a pretty ribbon made from insecurities.  
  
And there it is! There's that overthinking. That little nagging voice of  _I don't deserve someone so perfect_ _._  
  
Two days is a long time when you're prone to habits like that.  
  
You only pray they'll pass quickly.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Spoiler: They aren't.  
  
It's Monday morning and you are just. One sluggish fucker.  
  
Last night wasn't too bad. You ~~snooped~~ checked around David's cabin for any traps, went back to your own, rested for a while and then got dinner. None of the kids bothered you, and Nerris even came to ask if your hand was okay. She then offered to cast a healing spell, but you told her to save her mana for something more important.  
  
Listen. You're probably not supposed to pick favourites. But she's absolutely up there.  
  
David handled the final activity alone, and Gwen dealt with clean up. Since you... well, you know. She basically sent you back to your room, like you're a kid. Granted her words were 'go get some more rest and heal up' but still.  
  
It was then you remembered David said he sent you a message. You almost tripped over your own feet racing back to see exactly what that entailed.  
  
You haven't ever been a dramatic person, but when you burst into your cabin and grabbed your phone, it really did feel like some action movie scene.  
  
Navigating the screens with two less fingers was a little hard, and in your haste you opened the damn camera app twice, but you eventually got onto Tinder.  
  
And boy. That's where things got a little difficult.  
  
See before this, but after his 'confession', you had mainly been running on a sort of adrenaline high. The fact of knowing David actually  _like-likes_ you kept the invasive thoughts at bay. Mostly.  
  
But his message was so different from what you were used to. You haven't ever been in a relationship where you really felt much for the person. The reasons for high school are obvious, but in college you just fooled around.  
  
Seeing what he wrote hit you like a ten ton truck. This could be the start of a real relationship.  
  
That means, when you eventually fuck it up, it'll matter. You might lose him.  
  
Fear and anxiety so often like to hold you close. And as you read and reread the message it felt as if they were choking you.  
  
_Hey! So this is going to sound pretty weird, I know. Well, not too weird, I hope.  
Gwen convinced me this was a good idea. So I'm definitely going to fire her if this goes wrong.  
__That was a joke. Obviously.  
I would like to know if you would consider going on a date with me.  
Please, please don't feel any pressure to say yes or anything because I know this very sudden.  
But recently I've been getting some signals that maybe you like me. At least, I think I have.  
And I like you. I like you a lot.  
I don't really know how to put this into words. I've never been much of a writer.  
I just want you to know nothing will change if you say no.  
But if you say yes then I would be honoured to take you on a date.  
I was thinking maybe camping? I'd love to show you the wilderness without any of the kids around to bother us!  
Not that they're a bother. It'd just be nice to be alone for a while, you know?  
I think I've said enough so just get back to me when you can!  
And thanks. For always being there.  
  
_ It was innocent. Innocuous. Sweet. So very David.  
  
Yet you were filled with a sense of dread.  
  
If you're both alone together, that's even more of a chance for you to mess it all up. There'll be no escape when it's just the two of you. No excuse to rush off to.  
  
And then there's the flip side that is you'd be alone with him for once. The very thought made butterflies flutter around your stomach. Not to mention sent a little shiver down your spine.  
  
The last line of text also made your heart decide to do some sick back-flips. He probably just meant it in a general sense, but no one ever so plainly expressed their gratitude to you. Only him.  
  
That entire night you barely slept a wink. Even less than usual.  
  
'Usual' is just enough to function. Maybe five whole interrupted hours, if you're lucky.  
  
Last night was more like two. If you're rounding up.  
  
Not to mention, you kept waking up. Probably because of nerves. And occasionally because of dreams.  
  
It's not often you dream so vividly it seems real, but everything had to go wrong at once didn't it.  
  
If that doesn't sum up your damn life.  
  
"You doing okay?"  
  
You snap back to the present at the unexpected question.  
  
Since you couldn't sleep, you saw no reason to fumble about in bed, and got up for the day instead. You hadn't expected anyone else to be awake at five-thirty in the morning, but the world loves to prove you wrong.  
  
Thankfully, the person who enters the mess hall isn't the one you're currently afraid of seeing.  
  
"Gwen?" You mumble, rubbing your eyes.  
  
"Yep." She takes the seat opposite yours on the table.  
  
"Why're you up so..." a yawn cuts you off "Ahem. So early?"  
  
She pulls a magazine out of her jacket.  
  
"Could ask you the same thing. Don't you usually get up at like, seven?"  
  
"I uh... Couldn't sleep."  
  
She flips through the pages, and hums in affirmation.  
  
"David was nice enough to let me get an early night, so I woke up sooner than expected."  
  
At the mention of his name you visibly tense up, and lay your forehead on the table. It's cool to the touch, and makes the world seem a little less fuzzy.  
  
Gwen notices, because you'd have to be blind not to, and sighs.  
  
"Are you nervous about your date with him?"  
  
You groan aloud.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." She says, a note of amusement in her voice.  
  
"Gweeen." You groan. "It's not a laughing matter."  
  
"That's a matter of opinion."  
  
She can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.  
  
"Look. It's just a date, there's nothing to fret about." You can practically hear the roll of her eyes in her tone. "He's taking you camping for Gods sake. It isn't like you're going to some fancy important place."  
  
"Ugh. That's not even the problem."  
  
"Then what? Afraid you'll do something that makes him hate you, or something?"  
  
Doesn't she love to hit the nail on it's head.  
  
"Please." She snorts. "As if that could ever happen."  
  
You turn your head to peek up at her, squinting.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
This time you can see her eye-roll.  
  
"You really haven't got _any_  idea just how much he likes you?"  
  
You swallow.  
  
"Uh.. n-no?"  
  
She chuckles, and puts the magazine down on the table.  
  
"Wow. This really is like one of my romance novels."  
  
You're not sure if that's a compliment.  
  
"I'm going to be blunt with you, okay? David isn't the kind of guy who'd take someone out on a date just because. His last relationship ended a little... suddenly. Ever since then he's been very distant about that stuff."  
  
Huh. You haven't heard anything about it. Which makes total sense, as once again, you're the new girl. He's not about to spill his life details to you.  
  
That's what the date is for. Getting to know each other.  
  
"So, I know that he must like you a lot. Plus even before he admitted his own feelings, he wouldn't shut up about you."  
  
You blink in surprise.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really." She deadpans. "It was honestly kind of annoying. 'She's so smart and funny. And so good with the kids!' Blergh."  
  
Her impression of David is spot on. But, did he really say that kinda stuff about you?  
  
Your face flushes, and you bring your arms around it to hide how stupid you must look.  
  
"You know, at first I thought he was trying to say you were better than me."  
  
Huh. You guess it could be taken that way.  
  
"But I realised pretty early on he'd never do something like that. And that he had a crush on you. And you on him."  
  
You giggle nervously, and avoid eye contact.  
  
"W-Was it that obvious?"  
  
"Yep. That's why I called the two of you oblivious idiots. 'Cause you are."  
  
Despite the irritation on her face, there's warmth and affection in the insult.  
  
Your stomach decides now is the perfect time to grumble. Loudly.  
  
With a sigh, you pull yourself back to a sitting position, and stretch out.  
  
You really don't feel like going to make yourself anything. You're just so tired. The mere thought of having to get up makes you yawn.  
  
"Hm. Wait here."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Gwen gets up from her seat, and goes into the kitchen.   
  
You tap at the table impatiently. You can hear her doing something, probably making herself some breakfast.  
  
Why'd she tell you to wait? She got more to say about the matter?  
  
You slump back over the tabletop, resting your head on your arms. You'll take any moment you can get to do nothing today.  
  
Especially since tomorrow you'll be going out with David. You cannot be falling asleep every other minute around him. What if he thinks you're boring him or something?  
  
What if—  
  
Gwen interrupts your spiral of anxiety by setting down something next to you.  
  
"You look like you need something to pick you up."  
  
With some resistance, you manage to push yourself back up, still leaning on the table for support.  
  
You rub at your eyes again, and examine what it is she's brought.  
  
There's a bowl filled with cereal, and a cup of coffee.  
  
"This is for me?"   
  
"No, it's for the fucking invisible guy next you." She says, sitting down again. "Of course it's for you, dumbass."  
  
"Harsh." You pout. But it was a stupid question. "But, uh, thank you?"  
  
It's weird for Gwen to do extra work to help someone else out. Or at least, for her to do it for you. Without any ulterior motive.  
  
"If you don't eat, you'll probably pass out, and then I'll never hear the end of it from David."  
  
That makes more sense.  
  
"Thanks anyways." You give her a tired smile, and take the cup into your hands.   
  
You're not a big coffee drinker, despite being a major insomniac. It's never really been your thing. But Gwen was kind enough to make it for you, and you're not about to turn it down.  
  
But it's pretty bitter. You grimace, she sees, and points to the small bowl of sugar between the two of you.   
  
You put two spoonfuls in and stir. When you're certain it's mixed, you take a sip. It's definitely better.  
  
She also made breakfast for herself, some slices of toast drowning in butter. You don't think you stomach one of those, so cereal was definitely a safe choice.  
  
It's some sort of chocolate-coated-crispy-puff-thing. Definitely knock off because there's no way this camp can afford branded.  
  
Knowing your track record, you pace yourself with eating. You do not want to start this week by throwing up. That's not how this is going down.  
  
You do chug the coffee though. Once you get used to it, it's not so bad. Gwen was smart enough to bring the carafe out here, so you pour another cup for yourself.  
  
After the third she gives you one of her Looks.  
  
"Maybe you should chill out on the coffee, yeah?"  
  
"Hm?" You perk up, blinking rapidly. "What do you mean? It's fine, isn't it?"  
  
"You've almost emptied the whole thing by yourself, you know."  
  
"Have I?" Upon closer inspection, it would seem you have. "Sorry! Did you want some? It's actually pretty good."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment on my skills." She says dryly. "And no, that's not what I meant."  
  
You shove a spoonful of cereal in your mouth, and chew on it as you think over her words.  
  
"What did you mean then?"  
  
"I mean you probably shouldn't drink four cups of coffee when you aren't used it."  
  
You pause, drumming your fingers against the table. And tapping your foot. Sitting still is hard.  
  
"I'l be fine!" You decide, strangely optimistic. The world seems less fuzzy now. Brighter. Almost too bright. "It's all fine, yeah, fine."  
  
Gwen does not look like she agrees.  
  
"You're an adult, so it's not like I can stop you. But if this comes back to bite you in the ass later, I'll have no pity to spare."  
  
That would normally make you at least a little worried.  
  
Eh, it's fine, it'll be fine. So the caffeine is making you a little hyped. If anything, you'll be better at your job today!  
  
Yeah. Yeah!  
  
You cheerfully pour yourself another cup, ignoring the judgemental expression on Gwen's face.  
  
There's no way this can backfire!  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
You were so full of hope, so naive.  
  
It's currently noon and you are crashing  _hard_  from your caffeine high.  
  
Those four cups were all mistakes. All of them.  
  
Maybe the first would've been fine. But all subsequent ones have fucked you.  
  
Gwen is mouthing 'I told you so' from across the room at you.  
  
It started raining, so Nerris' magic activity was moved to the mess hall. Originally, it was supposed to be some sort of collab between her and Preston at the ampitheatre. Though that's kind of impossible now.  
  
The two kids seem devastated. You wish you could comfort them, but your splitting headache takes priority.  
  
You feel even worse than when you first woke up. God you're stupid. Of course this would happen. You may not drink coffee but you know every sort of drug has a side effect.  
  
The campers are all sitting at the tables, looking bored. David is passing out paper and crayons, telling them to tap into their artistic side and pass the time.  
  
He does have a habit of treating them like they're toddlers, not pre-teens.  
  
"The fuck am I meant to do with this?" Max's face twists in disgust. "Draw a stupid pony or something?"  
  
"Language." David chides. "And why, I think that's a wonderful idea! Horses are elegant creatures."  
  
"You are so lame."  
  
"Max, why can't you be more like Nikki? She seems very enthusiastic about this!"  
  
Said girl is sporting a manic grin, and scribbling onto paper wildly.  
  
"I'm drawing a shark!" She declares loudly, making your ears ring. "They have lots of teeth and like to kill things! They're so cool! I want one!"  
  
"Each to their own!" David laughs nervously. "Though, maybe don't be  _exactly_  like Nikki."  
  
You're sat beside Neil, since he's the quietest kid you know. He doesn't strike you as the artsy type, but is definitely writing something down on his paper.  
  
The noise of it is grating on you though. Every little sound is so much louder, and you're so tired, and everything sucks.  
  
You groan, and try to block out the noise with your hands. It doesn't work and in fact just hurts your already burned fingers. They were feeling better too.  
  
He pauses in the middle of whatever-the-fuck he's doing and looks up at you.  
  
"Are you... hungover?"  
  
You sigh and put your hands back on the table, looking off into the distance.  
  
"I wish. That would mean I actually got to be drunk."  
  
It crosses your mind you probably shouldn't be discussing this with a kid but whatever. You crossed the boundaries of unprofessional behaviour long ago.  
  
"I guess working at this camp would drive people to drink."  
  
That might be the first time you've heard him tell a joke. It's enough to make you giggle, and then immediately regret it. The motion causes your stomach to churn.  
  
"Uh, you don't look so good."  
  
"Oh yeah?" You mutter. "Did your scientific evaluations tell you that?"  
  
He narrows his eyes.  
  
"You sound like Max."  
  
That was absolutely meant to be an insult.  
  
"Is there something... going on between you and him?"  
  
Well, that wasn't what you were expecting to hear.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Yesterday he ran off after you. When the you both came back, he was in an unusually pleasant mood. Despite both your statements that you caught him running away."  
  
The way the kid is staring at you makes you feel uncomfortable. Especially since he's not entirely wrong.  
  
"You jealous I'm stealing your best friend?" You quirk an eyebrow, and manage somewhat of a smirk.  
  
"Wh-What?! No!"  
  
To your surprise, Neil's face turns red, and he quickly shoves himself back into whatever he's working on.  
  
Okay, you may be oblivious, but that's a reaction even you understand.  
  
You're not interested in teasing him over it though. You're young enough to remember how it felt when adults did stuff like that. Never good, is the answer.  
  
"Well, don't be. Pretty sure he still hates my guts."  
  
"Sure he does." He mumbles, frowning to himself.  
  
He is just itching for you to dig deeper isn't he. Unlucky for him, you're in absolutely no mood for some weird conversation about Max, and stand up to go sit with someone else.  
  
A mistake. You immediately stumble backwards, your body fighting against any type of sudden movement.  
  
At first, you're so dizzy that you don't even realise you didn't hit the floor. Or the wall. You're still standing. Supported by... something.  
  
Oh. Oh no. Someone.  
  
Let it be Gwen, let it be Gwen,  _please be Gwe—  
  
_ It's not Gwen.  
  
David's hands are holding you in place, stopping you from falling over. Placed respectfully on your waist, though that touch is enough to feel like it'll burn through your official Camp Campbell uniform and brand your skin.  
  
You want to rip yourself out of his grip, but that would make this situation even worse. And also you might throw up if you move like that again.  
  
"Are you okay?" And even though you can see his face, you know he's making those worried puppy dog eyes at you.  
  
"Y-Yeah." You stutter out. "Uh, I-I'm fine."  
  
But his hands don't move.  
  
He's trying to kill you. David is an assassin sent by Mr. Owens because of that one time you stole a popsicle from his freezer. There's no other explanation.  
  
You can feel some of the campers eyes on you. This is not the place for you to break down about David. Yet it is imminent.  
  
"Hey, Davey, I think she can stand by herself."  
  
Max? Helping you out? Again?  
  
Maybe today won't go so badly.  
  
Immediately, he pulls his hands away, as if he was touching a hot stove.  
  
"R-Right!" He laughs, though it's too high-pitched to be real. "Sorry, guess I checked out for a moment there!"  
  
"I-It's cool." It most definitely is not. "I ah, do the s-same thing."  
  
You want to curl up and die a little, but at least the kids aren't looking at you any more. Except for Max. Who's glaring.  
  
That is questionable but you've had your fill of talking with children half your age for today. You make your way over to Ered, who's sitting in a corner listening to music.  
  
You would've sat with her in the first place, but she was blasting rock music and your head was already killing you.  
  
At this point you just don't care.  
  
She obviously doesn't give a shit about the drawing thing, and barely acknowledges you with a nod as you take the seat opposite her.  
  
You had planned to spend the rest of the time here, in relative peace, mulling over your terrible decisions. But apparently God isn't having it.  
  
David has evidently finished his task of handing out art supplies, and takes the opportunity to sit down beside you.  
  
Your skin still feels hot from where his hands were touching. It flares up when he shifts a little closer.  
  
"Hey, you really don't seem all that okay. Gwen said you drank quite a bit of coffee earlier on."  
  
The tattle-tale. One of these days you'll get her back for always discussing you with him. Somehow.  
  
"I'm totally fine. J-Just uh, got a bit of a migraine. That's all."  
  
"Do you want any painkillers?"  
  
" **No**."  
  
That came out harsher than intended.  
  
"Oh. Um, okay."  
  
You wince at his slightly hurt tone, and know you have to clarify.  
  
"I don't. Take pills." You manage through gritted teeth. This is so not the time to be talking about this shit.  
  
"I understand. Some water then?"  
  
You go to refuse again, but that actually sounds pretty good.  
  
"Please."  
  
He's gone as soon as you get the word out. And back before you have time to really calm yourself.  
  
You gulp down the glass as quickly as possible, and sigh in relief. You do feel better, if only a little.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"No problem!" He seems more awkward than usual. "I'd do anything for you."  
  
You are so glad Ered is the only one in earshot because the squeak you let out at that is pitiful.  
  
David, to his credit, also seems embarrassed. Like he didn't really mean to say it aloud.  
  
"I-I uh... I mean, I would, but-" He cuts himself off, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I just m-meant, because you're clearly in pain and..."  
  
_Just get through today,_ you thought. _It'll be easy,_  you thought. The universe loves proving you wrong.  
  
"I got it, David." You sound about as tired as you feel. Which is very.  
  
"Sorry." He mumbles, and you feel like an asshole.  
  
You are in no condition to deal with this situation like a responsible adult but hey isn't that just life?  
  
"It's fine. I-I..." You take a breath, trying to mentally prepare yourself. "I feel the same."  
  
Even out of the corner of your eye, you catch how his eyes light up and his face turns pink. That favourite small smile of yours is back too.  
  
What a bastard. How dare he be so cute. Doesn't he know there's kids about and you're an incredibly anxious mess? You can't even do anything.  
  
His right hand is edging ever closer to your left one on the table. It's so obvious but he's trying not to make it obvious. Probably because of the campers. You doubt David's the kind to limit his affection in private.  
  
You put all your energy into not flinching when he finally lays his hand on top of yours. The contact sends that lightning flying down your spine again, and the touch is less like burning and more like tingles.   
  
Okay. You can deal with this. Maybe.  
  
He pushes his fingers to lace through yours, and sits just a teeny bit closer.  
  
"I can't wait for tomorrow." He grins at you, eyes still sparkling happily. "I'll get to show you the joy of camping!"  
  
You thank whatever deity is out there that David isn't the teasing type. 'Cause that would've been the perfect time. And you would've died.  
  
"S-Sounds good t-to me." That stutter is real bitch sometimes. "I'll uh, do my best to learn about it from, from you."  
  
"I suppose I do have a lot to teach you!"  
  
Coming from anyone but him, that would without doubt be a double entendre.  
  
You mind may know otherwise, but your body still decides to react anyways. Stomach and chest working in tandem to kill you from the inside.  
  
Suddenly, you don't feel so tired any more.  
  
Tuesday.  
  
Tomorrow.  
  
Just get through today.  
  
And never,  **ever** drink coffee again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much for one sitting lmao this literally took me like 4 days and im still not happy with it but OH WELL
> 
> idk when i'll see u all next but i hope it is soon and i hope this wasn't as shit as my many issues are telling me it is since it's the only chapter for a while (maybe)
> 
> au revoir and ttyl


	12. Warring Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY HEY IM BACK
> 
> for how long tho that is the real question lmao
> 
> god i meant to start this ages ago but literally things have been hectic. got evicted. had to stay with a friend. got a new place. money problems. got sick first day i moved in. still aint got my shit and theyre threatening to like burn it if i dont collect it soon so yeah. doing pretty good.
> 
> in all seriousness, im fine, pls do not worry about me but!!! i did appreciate the concern it was very nice of all of you. in return, i give you my masterpiece. finally. some of that fluffy romance shit. hope its worth the wait tbh because i been gone a long while
> 
> enjoy!

Tuesday. Tuesday is here.  
  
You are so not ready.  
  
You woke up feeling okay. Which is unusual.  
  
Should've known it was a trap. Your brain was never going to let you get through this day without nearly throwing up. It's not even nine yet, but you're dreading the date.  
  
Yet every time you think of it, your heart races. And you don't think it's entirely out of anxiety.  
  
You and David leave at ten on the dot. You doubt there's any way for either of you to be 'late' given you live in the same place and are getting into the same car parked in the same place.  
  
Well, at least you don't have to worry about deciding what to wear. It's camping, so you've actually incorporated some of your counsellor uniform into it. By that you mean you're wearing it in it's entirety.  
  
You'd be more worried if you weren't one hundred percent sure David actually likes the uniform and is probably going to do the same thing.  
  
Though, you did spend a little more time on your hair than usual. Normally its brush-brush done. Today you tried out a few styles.  
  
You did end up deciding to stick with your normal one but at least there was an attempt. That's more than usual. Which is also nerve-wracking because it means that he must mean an awful lot to you if you're worrying this much about it. Not that you don't have a few insecurities about your looks—everyone does—but it's never been your primary concern about yourself.  
  
No, your personality and tendency to just be awful bother you far more than your appearance.  
  
Ugh. And you're back to feeling bad about yourself. You really don't think you deserve David, or this chance with him. He's so amazing. Just a genuinely nice human being. How often does one of those come along?  
  
After all, he's the first one you've ever met.  
  
You fiddle with your shirt buttons nervously. You're still inside your cabin, but that can't last for long. Breakfast is a necessity. You know David will know if you haven't eaten then he'll get worried about it, which will make you feel even worse and then a never ending cycle will be in motion.  
  
With a sigh, and a final look in the mirror, you make your way over to the mess hall. You are definitely  _not_ dragging your feet the entire way there. Because that would be immature and ridiculous. And because you can do this. It's going to be fine. It's all good.  
  
As you step into said building, you notice that it is decidedly not all good.  
  
You can feel their beady little eyes on you immediately. They know. You know that they know. How do they know? At a guess, Gwen. Another would be the little shits eavesdropping on you and him yesterday.  
  
Your gaze snaps to him. The only one who would do such a thing.  
  
Max.  
  
He smiles at you, innocently.  
  
That fucking bastard.  
  
You think of maybe turning tail and running away from the whole situation. That would be a sound strategy. Clearly the most reasonable way to deal with it all.  
  
With your second sigh of the day, you force yourself to walk inside, attempting to ignore their looks. You sit way at the back, at the same table as Gwen.  
  
"They-"  
  
"Know?" You finish for her. "Yeah, noticed, thanks."  
  
She lifts a cracked white mug to her lips, shrugging.  
  
"Wasn't me."  
  
"Noticed that too."  
  
With a raise of an eyebrow, and a sip of her drink, she subtly urges you to continue talking.  
  
"It's nothing." You wave it off with an obvious lie. "Just don't let them uh, follow us or anything. I could do without having to break off the d-date 'cause a kid interrupted."  
  
"I'll keep an eye out." She remarks dryly, resting her head in her free hand. "You'll probably be up to things they shouldn't see anyway."  
  
"Gwen!" You hiss, mortified. You know you're blushing, and you hate it.  
  
Her only reply is a smirk, and a long,  _deliberate_ sip from her mug.   
  
Your blush intensifies, and you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You are not good with intimacy. Not when you like the person.  
  
Having his hand on yours almost killed you yesterday. How the hell are you ever going to deal with more than that?  
  
You're ashamed to admit you can still sort of feel where he caught you before you fell over. The skin around the area still tingles and flares up a little, as if in memory.   
  
None of this is helping the fact your entire face is the shade of an extremely ripe tomato.  
  
You lean forward with a groan, trying to keep your volume down as you do so. You're pretty sure some of the kids are still watching you. Waiting. Like lions. The moment you show enough weakness, they'll pounce.  
  
"Gonna get something to eat." You mumble, before making for the kitchen.   
  
Quartermaster is in there, but he pointedly ignores you. You're a little scared. He probably found out about his snake or something.  
  
Hey, maybe he'll kill you before you have to go on this date and fuck everything up. Isn't that a silver lining?  
  
"Uh. Just g-getting breakfast." You stammer out, throwing him a nervous smile as you fill a bowl up with Major Munch. Which is absolutely, in no way some knock-off version of a better cereal.  
  
You sniff the milk before adding it to your bowl. Never can be too careful in this place. You once ate half a packet of chips before realising they were nearly half a year out of date. No wonder they tasted funny.  
  
Your attempt to hurry out of the kitchen is annihilated by a new arrival. You were so worried about QM, you didn't even hear the door open and close.  
  
"Isn't it a lovely day?" The Traitor sings out, with that shitty sweet smile still in place. "Birds are singing, bees are buzzing... But, then again, you'd know all about the first two. Wouldn't you?"  
  
It takes you a moment to get what he's saying, but when you do, you wish you hadn't. Your blush returns in full force as you wonder if you knew this much about adult affairs as a kid.  
  
You conclude that yeah, much as they tried to hide it, you did.  
  
"Y-You!" Yeah. That showed him. Wait, shit, Quartermaster's still here.  
  
Or... he's not?  
  
The guy's just. Gone.  
  
Like, there's no way he went through the doors. You would've noticed this time.  
  
That is a problem to be addressed at a later time. Right now, the prime one stands before you.  
  
Hands in his hoodie pockets, Max leans back against the wall.  
  
"Yep, it's me. Your favourite, sunshine."  
  
Oh good he's still using the nickname. Somehow, it actually doesn't bother you so much this time. Perhaps because you know there's no real malice behind it.  
  
"You're nobody's favourite." You fire back.  
  
Maybe that was too far.  
  
But, all he does is laugh. It doesn't seem forced or fake.  
  
"I guess that's true. Someone else is your favourite, huh?"  
  
You grit your teeth and narrow your eyes at him. The effect is possibly ruined by the fabulous scarlet colour your face is, but what can you do? Not get flustered at every little jab? Yeah, right.  
  
"You told them all."  
  
"Please, it's not like the two of you tried to hide it very well."  
  
That's... true, actually. He did kind of hold your hand in public. And then there's the whole thing that happened on Sunday which you don't want to think about right now.  
  
"Whatever." You've already been defeated at this point. "What do you want this time?"  
  
He shrugs, looking away from you.  
  
"Just wondering what possessed you to choose himof all people." Max is clearly avoiding your eyes, and it's a little weird 'cause usually he's all for staring you down. "I mean, he's... he's **David**."  
  
He says that like it explains everything, and to be honest it kind of does. At first glance, David is a very specific kind of person and that would make for polarising opinions on him. But you've grown to know him, to know there's more there than just cheer and happiness.  
  
Not that those two things are in any way bad, but it would get tiring dealing with endless optimism even in a hopeless situation.  
  
Even as all of this races through your mind, your reply is almost instant.  
  
" **Because** he's David."  
  
Well. That's super fucking embarrassing. You didn't even have to think about it.  
  
Max's attention is solely on you once more. His eyes are wide, and he looks bewildered by your sudden answer.  
  
"Uh. I-I mean- It's just th-that h-he's ah, so nice and-" You pause midway through your reasoning.  
  
Why are you explaining yourself a preteen?  
  
"Nice, huh?" It's said quietly, and something about the tone of his voice makes you think you weren't supposed to hear it. You're not sure why, but that's definitely the feeling you get.  
  
He shakes it off quickly though, standing up straight once more and giving you a lopsided grin.  
  
"Whatever. Have a nice date with  _Davey_." He says, with a salute as he turns around to walk away.  
  
What was all this about? You're so confused. You thought that when he confronted you, it was because he's a little upset about you going on a date with David. For all his griping about the man, he seems to be attached to him in a way.  
  
Another thing you thought he'd do is tease you more.  
  
"One more thing." He drawls, and you can practically hear the smugness dripping off his words. "Make sure to be safe."  
  
Oh. Oh he did  _not_ just-  
  
"Make sure not to get eaten by a bear or something." He adds, before finally taking his leave.  
  
But the both of you know that's not what he was referring to.  
  
You exit some five minutes later, after finally calming yourself down. Once again your brain said **RUN** and your heart also said **RUN** but you managed to ignore them both and stay.  
  
You sit back down at Gwen's table, and it takes you a moment to see that someone else has joined the two of you.  
  
"Good morning!" David exclaims, with his usual enthusiasm.  
  
"You already said that." Gwen says with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"Well, to you, but not to our dear co-counsellor here!"  
  
"A-Aha..." You giggle nervously, looking anywhere but his face. "G-Good morning to you too, David."  
  
You busy yourself with getting breakfast down, and keeping it there. Not a great impression if you throw up the first date.  
  
Then again you've already hit your head and nearly knocked yourself out in front of them all, and that didn't seem to deter him.  
  
Thankfully, Gwen seems to actively try and keep David busy by making small talk. She's not usually so interested in conversing with him, especially before noon, but is clearly doing so for your sake.  
  
You take back every bad thing you've ever thought about her. Gwen is a goddess. And a surprisingly good wingman. Wingwoman?  
  
Normally you'd try to eat as fast as possible and skedaddle, but you have a feeling that would any draw attention. You manage to keep a relatively normal and pace and even join in with what they're talking about once or twice. With one word answers, of course. No need to push yourself.  
  
As you wash up your bowl—because leaving that to the Quartermaster whilst he's pissed at you seems like a real bad idea—you note that it's getting close to the time. Of the thing. Yeah, that thing.  
  
_I'm gonna fuck it up. I'm definitely gonna fuck it up. There is no way on God's green earth that this goes well and I don't fuck it up._  
  
Those are just some of the thoughts currently passing through your mind. So yeah, doing just fine.  
  
You suddenly get the urge to drown yourself in the sink. With a great amount of effort, you resist it.  
  
Third sigh. It's barely been two hours, and you're already regretting the fact you woke up at all. Not that this is any way uncommon for you, but it's usually over the fact you hate yourself and life. And not the fact it seems to be going well enough and now you're afraid you'll just destroy it.  
  
Happiness never lasts forever. That's why it's so scary.  
  
Reluctantly, you make your way back into the mess hall. It's empty. Right, nine-thirty, first activity of the day. You think Gwen mentioned it was adventure camp stuff. Fuck that. Not after last time.  
  
The fact David isn't here makes your gut twist with a mix of emotions that you haven't got the energy or will to figure out.  
  
Half an hour. What are you meant to do? Overthink this and ruin it before it even happens?  
  
Seems likely. But it's not what you want. You have to keep yourself occupied.  
  
You check your phone. Barely any signal, as always, but it's there.  
  
You try to read the news. But it's too depressing. You don't wanna be thinking about war and death when you go on your first date with someone you actually care about.  
  
Games it is then.  
  
You manage to pass ten minutes before your phone dies and you realise you forgot to put the fucking thing on charge.  
  
So now you're just lying face down on one of the tables, praying for sweet release. That's when you hear someone come in. You don't bother to look at them.  
  
"Um..." Such a distinct voice, you'd recognise it anywhere. "Are you okay?"  
  
You pull yourself up and look at the kid, forcing a neutral expression onto your face.  
  
"I'm fine, Nerris. Did you need something from me?"  The question of 'shouldn't you be with Gwen'is left unsaid, but heavily implied.  
  
She tugs at her cape, and smiles at you bashfully. That's when you notice the paper in her hands.  
  
"Gwen said I should probably sit the activity out, since the last time we did snorkelling in the lake I tried to use a spell to breathe underwater that backfired."  
  
She doesn't elaborate. You don't ask.  
  
"So I finished my drawing from this morning!" Her hands shake a little as she holds it out to you.  
  
You take the paper, and look at the picture.  
  
Oh.  
  
Oh God.  
  
"When I heard about you and David I was like 'Wowzers! A real life example of true romance!'" Her smile turns into a beam, as she becomes more excited. "So I had to commemorate the event with something! A charm didn't feel quite right, so I took advice from Dolph and created a work of art!"  
  
It's a drawing of the two of you, clearly dressed up in traditional outfits for a prince and princess.  
  
To be fair, she's nailed the expressions. You're both holding hands, and David looks delighted. Meanwhile your face is coloured red and you have a squiggly line for a mouth. It's entirely accurate.  
  
"Nerris I... I don't know what to say." It's the truth. The picture is definitely cute and flattering, but it also makes you feel so embarrassed. "This is so... unexpected. But, uh, nice!" You manage a small grin.   
  
"You like it?" There are practically sparkles in her eyes. Bless this sweet child.  
  
"I... I love it." Because, hey, life cannot possibly get worse for you at this point. There's no point in dragging the kid down with you. "Thank you."  
  
"I'm so glad!" She lisps, clapping her hands. "I have to get back to Gwen now, but I hope you have a nice time! Oh, and Harrison told me to tell you that if you marry David, he wants to be the entertainment!"  
  
Jesus Christ. They're talking about the two of you getting married.  
  
"Th-That's... I'll, uh, discuss it with him later."  
  
She waves goodbye and skips back outside.  
  
Once again, you show restraint by managing to not slam your head against the table. Repeatedly.  
  
Instead, you take another look at the picture.  
  
It is undeniably adorable. She took the time out of her day to make this, just because she thought it'd make you happy. The thought makes a fuzzy, warm feeling spread through your chest.  
  
The kids are all little shitheads, but you guess that sometimes they can be okay. And this reaffirms the fact she is, without a doubt, your favourite. Sorry Maxie-boy, you were wrong.  
  
But man. The very fact they're talking about you and him marrying is super awkward. You can only hope David hasn't heard about it. Or if he has, that he keeps it to himself instead of trying to joke about it. Because you will clam up and then things will just spiral downhill.  
  
You check the clock. Nine-fifty-four.  
  
Heart pounding, head spinning, you make your way to the car. Wait. Wait. David cannot see this picture.   
  
Because—you've just realised—to the untrained eye what the two of you are wearing in it kind of looks like... well, like wedding clothes.  
  
Ha ha.

Oh no.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Well, your hand is feeling and looking better. So one thing is going right today.  
  
You didn't bother to wrapping it, because somehow a hand covered in plastic wrap feels like it'd spoil any kind of romantic mood.  
  
Not that you haven't kind of done that already.  
  
You're in the car alone with David, and it's just. Yeah.  
  
It had started off okay but, true to character, you fucked it all up.  
  
He was chatting animatedly about how happy is to "Show you the beauty of nature!" and "The many wonders of camping!"  
  
You ruined it all by only giving grunts of affirmation of one word replies consisting of 'yeah' or 'uh-huh'.  
  
Soon after that, the two of you lapsed into silence. And not the comfortable kind.  
  
Right now you're stuck between deciding whether to barrel roll out of the car or just plain old slam your head in. You choose to stay stock still instead, because you really don't have the money to do either of those things.  
  
A sudden cough catches your attention, as he attempts to clear the awkward air now surrounding you.  
  
"I'm... I'm glad you came. I thought for a bit that you might bail." He says, laughing a little towards the end. It's clearly out of nerves, not amusement.  
  
Oh God. What do you say at a time like this?  
  
Fuck it. Truth is best.  
  
"I-I actually uh, considered it." You manage to get out. "I was pretty anxious, but I r-really wanted to... to come."  
  
He laughs again, more easily this time.  
  
"Me too. I was scared I came on too strong." He admits, giving you a smile. "That was a problem with Bon- Ahem. In my last relationship."  
  
You decide against asking about the correction he makes, despite how it arouses your curiosity.  
  
"Well..." You hesitate before finishing your sentence. "I-I'm pretty sure I liked you  **way** before you like me anyways, so that was never a problem."  
  
You freeze at your own admission. God, that probably sounded so desperate.  
  
Yet his smile only widens.  
  
You ignore the way his cheeks flush, distracting as it is. Can't get ahead of yourself.  
  
"Oh, really? Seems unlikely." His voice takes on a slightly teasing tone. "Unless you believe in love in first sight."  
  
Back to being tomato red. Just him even saying the word love is enough to make your heart rate spike into fucking space. Not to mention the fact it kind of sounds like he just said he loves you.  
  
No, can't have been. Probably not. Definitely.  
  
As the meaning of his words sinks in, his own face takes on the same hue you imagine yours must be, and he sputters.  
  
"I, er, ahaha..." Cue nervous laughter. "Not that I- That I was in-  _Am_ in- Do you like the Farmer's Almanac?"  
  
The question catches you so off-guard, you're almost convinced you hallucinated it.  
  
David presses a button on the tape player (how old this thing?) and a static laden voice broadcasts out of it. He fixes his gaze on the road, clearly unwilling to talk any more.  
  
_**Welcome to the audio audition of the Farmer's Almanac, year of our Lord, 1976.**_  
  
Good God. You barely even know what an almanac is.  
  
And over the next twenty minutes, you find out.  
  
You find out that it's an outrageous amount of boring and useless information. Useless, because it was recorded for nineteen-seventy-fucking-six.  
  
Yet, even though he has extraordinarily bad taste in entertainment, your feelings for David refuse to lessen even a little bit. If anything, they've grown. Yeah, figure that shit out, Sherlock.  
  
Neither of you spoke a word more until you reached your destination. When he said 'we're here' you had to stop yourself from sighing with very obvious relief.  
  
Both of you get out the car and, as David starts removing things from the trunk, you take a moment to stretch.  
  
And that's when you feel it. That prickling heat.  
  
The sensation of being watched.  
  
Midway through stretching upward, you glance at him, only to almost wish you hadn't.  
  
The look in his eyes is so unnervingly intense. 'Eye-fucking', Gwen called it. Fitting, though a little crude.  
  
It sends sparks of electricity crackling down your veins, making the tips of your fingers and toes feel numb.  
  
If it was anyone but David, you would say the way he's looking at you is almost—cringey as it sounds—lustful. But he's so pure and sweet. Sometimes you even have to remind yourself he's older than you.  
  
"You, uh, need any help with that?" Somehow you got that out without your voice breaking, which is an impressive feat.  
  
He seems to snap out of whatever stupor he was in, and nods.   
  
You don't miss the way his throat bobs as he swallows.  
  
After the two of you are done unpacking the stuff from the car, you actually take a look around where you are.  
  
Wow. Nature is beautiful. Especially so when there's no kids running around ruining it by setting the forest on fire.  
  
Despite your growing affection for them, you cannot help but be overjoyed to spend some time away. Even if it is just more of the same.  
  
"Do you know how to pitch a tent?"  
  
The sudden question makes you jump, and you turn to face David before giving your answer.  
  
"Uh... Well, I think I helped my dad it once when I was like, eight." You say with a shrug. "Haven't done it since then though, sorry."  
  
He never tried to go camping with you again after that. You guess you were too much of a burden or something. Too useless.  
  
"That's okay!" He's seems to be back to normal. "I don't mind doing it. I actually find it kind of fun."  
  
He pauses, shifting a little.  
  
"That probably sounds weird, huh?"  
  
"Not at all."  
  
You're both surprised at how fast you reply. You have got stop doing that. Think first, speak later.  
  
"I mean, everyone has different interests." You let your lips twitch up into a small smile "As long as you enjoy it, who cares what others think?"  
  
His whole being brights as if you're a sage who just offered him some incredible wisdom.  
  
"Right!" He chirps brightly. "I'll get to pitching the tent then. Maybe you could scout around for some stuff to make a fire with?"  
  
Tent. Singular.  
  
You break out into a cold sweat.  
  
"Ah... David?" You say questioningly.  
  
He stops what he's doing and looks at you expectantly.  
  
"You... You meant to say  _tents_ , right?"  
  
"No? Oh. Oh are you not okay with-" His face contorts in a way you've never seen before, but you suspect it'd be called a grimace. "Oh goodness, I-I should've asked I'm so sorry! I just, we do have another tent but it's small and has a hole in it and a weird smell from the last time it was used and _you_ wouldn't want it and  _I_ didn't want it and that was so selfish of me I should've-"  
  
"David." Your voice is more authoritative than usual. For some reason, you can be bolder when he's the one who's panicking and anxious.  
  
He stops immediately, staring at you like a deer in headlights.  
  
"It's fine." It isn't, it absolutely isn't, but you are not gonna let him blame himself for this. It's not fair for him to feel bad when it's your own insecurities causing the problem.  
  
He looks unconvinced, but nods slowly.  
  
"W-Well, it's a pretty big tent." Once again, he laughs nervously. It's become a recurring thing. "It can fit at least three, if not four, people."  
  
That soothes you a bit. At least you won't be cuddled up together.  
  
And  **why** did you think of that because now you can't get the image out of your brain as it's permanently seared there, you fucking moron.  
  
"That's even better." You don't know how you aren't a stuttering wreck but keep it up.  
  
His tight smile eases into that soft one he only seems to show around you at certain times.  
  
"Right! Should get to work."  
  
And so the both of you do. As he sets up the tent, you go a little further out of the clearing to find tinder and kindling. You may not be able to help with much else, but some of the survival skills your school had a day about stuck with you.  
  
After going back and forth a few times, you've amassed a nice stockpile of twigs, leaves and branches. And some rocks, though obviously not as many.  
  
You briefly consider attempting to help David, but he looks to be in his element. So you decide to just get on with building the fire.  
  
Not to burn it straight away of course, since it's still light and warm. But you might as well make yourself useful.  
  
You find a small trowel-looking tool in one of the few boxes around, and dig a small pit with it in not too far from the tent.  
  
Then you line the stones around the edge of it, since you're not looking to burn yourself again.  
  
Next is the tinder, placed in the middle. Then the kindling is stacked on top of it in a sort of tee-pee way.  
  
And ta-da! One fire. You hope.  
  
If this thing doesn't work for some reason you're gonna be really embarrassed. Hot shame will fill you at your inability to do anything. You'll have no choice but to find the nearest river and fling yourself into it.  
  
No, you're  _not_ overreacting this is a completely legitimate response to failure.  
  
You look despairingly at your now dirty hands. It wouldn't bother you usually, but you're hyper-aware of everything about yourself right now.  
  
Spending a while searching through another box results in finding a package of baby wipes. David is a life-saver.  
  
After that's all done, you go to check your phone for the time out of reflex. But you don't have it. Because no charge.  
  
Ugh. Right. That.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"Oh. Uh, just wondering about the time." He really needs to stop nearly making you jump out of your skin.  
  
"Are you bored already?"  
  
You pale.  
  
"No! No, I was ju-just curious!"  
  
"Sorry." He smiles at you, sheepishly. "I was joking."  
  
"Oh." You let out a relieved laugh. "You. You got me."  
  
Let's also ignore the way he looks at you when you laugh for real. Because it's entirely too cute and you may die if you focus on it.  
  
"I'm just about done here, so if you could get the sleeping bags, that'd be great!"  
  
"Sure."  
  
You bring the bags over, marvelling at how fast he got this thing up. You were half-expecting a pop out tent of some kind, but that didn't seem David's style.  
  
No. This is like, a proper tent. And quite spacious. You feel much better about having to share it.  
  
"Do you want the red or the blue one?"  
  
"I don't mind, you pick!"  
  
Of course he doesn't.  
  
"Fine. I call blue."  
  
You chuck the other one at him and take yours out, unrolling it and setting it down right at the back of the tent.  
  
David seems to be in thought.  
  
"Something wrong?" You echo his words from earlier.  
  
"Huh? Oh. Uh. Nope!"  
  
Yeah, 'cause that's not suspicious.  
  
He busies himself with putting his own sleeping bag down more near the front.   
  
"So... what now?"  
  
"Now we relax! Well, nearly. I just have to grab a few things!"  
  
He makes his way back to the car, and grabs some stuff from the backseat. You never even saw him put anything back there. Who knew he had it in him to be stealthy?  
  
When he comes back and sets it up, it suddenly hits you this is a date.  
  
He's put down a picnic blanket, with a cooler and a basket in the middle. He gestures for you to take sit down on one side, and he sits on the other  
  
"Are you thirsty?"  
  
"Uh, y-yeah, I guess."  
  
He grins at you, and opens the cooler. Your eyes widen.  
  
"Beer?"  
  
You don't mean to blurt it out, but it's honestly shocking.  
  
David chuckles.  
  
"I did confiscate it off of you after all. But it felt like I'd be wasting your money if I threw it away, and I knew it wouldn't keep so... This seemed an okay place to get rid of it."  
  
That is so weirdly thoughtful of him.  
  
To your surprise, he takes two out, handing one over to you.  
  
You take it, tilting you head as you ask. "You drink?"  
  
"Ah, not really." He confesses. "Only sometimes, but not usually beer."  
  
It doesn't come as a shock. If he were to drink any alcohol, you'd guess it'd be wine.  
  
"You don't have to. If it's just to make me more comfortable, or whatever." You don't want him doing this just for you.  
  
"I want to." He assures you, still grinning. "In my mid-twenties I should probably finally get around to letting loose. If only a little."  
  
Huh. It's strange to hear him talk like this. So freely admitting he can be tightly wound up about the camp.  
  
You crack open your can, and for a moment are tempted to chug it. But this is not college. So, you take small sips.  
  
David seems to watch you, before deciding to do the same. You notice he sniffs it, and his nose scrunches up a little.  
  
You have to bite back a laugh. Adorable.  
  
Then he takes a massive gulp.  
  
The regret on his face is instant, as he seems to shudder and recoil from the taste.  
  
This time you can't help but snicker.  
  
"It's not for everyone, I guess." You quip, amusement obvious.  
  
"No! It's, uh, good!" He lies. "I like it!"  
  
You mimic Gwen from earlier, taking a long sip of your own drink, quirking an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Well... I'm sure it'll grow on me!"  
  
You shake your head, unable to stop smiling.  
  
"It's sweet of you to try and like what I do, but you don't have to, ah, push yourself."  
  
He taps the can nervously, eyes flicking between it and you.  
  
After a moment, he sighs and sets it down.  
  
"Sorry. I'm not much of a drinker."  
  
"I figured. It's fine." You find yourself less nervous, the twisting feeling in your stomach dissipating with each sip. "I'm not gonna complain, it just means more for me."  
  
He reaches into the cooler again and brings out a can of orange soda. That seems more his style.  
  
"Not water? Shame on you." You tsk, finding yourself in a teasing mood. "Soda is so unhealthy you know."  
  
To make it obvious, you take a large gulp of the beer, and then smirk at him.  
  
He laughs, and God you are so hopelessly in love with this man that it's sad. Once again, your heart thumps against your ribs so hard you think it might break them.  
  
"I know, I'm so bad."  
  
"Yeah. A real bad boy."  
  
You must imagine the way he stiffens as you say that, going from almost-relaxed to rigidly straight.  
  
"Y-Yep." He goes to drink his soda, before realising he hasn't opened the can. His face flushes once again, a delightful pink colour.  
  
Man, when you aren't too caught up in your own head to deal with his reactions, they are wonderful.   
  
"Aw, are you nervous, Davey?" You say in a sing-song voice.  
  
The blush deepens, but instead of him stammering like you predicted, he takes a sip of his soda and shrugs.  
  
"Yes, I am. Who wouldn't be, if they were going on a date with someone as amazing as you?"  
  
And your newfound ability to tease him and revel in it is washed down the fucking drain. Holy shit. How can he say that with a straight face?!  
  
"A-Ah... Th-That's, um..." You squirm, and take another gulp of beer. Liquid courage. Even though its like 4 percent. It'll take you at least five to even start getting drunk.  
  
He eyes from the side, and oh  **God**. Is he. Is he actually  _smirking_?  
  
No way. No way in hell. That's a smile and you're just making it out to be something else.  
  
David couldn't possibly be trying to fluster you on purpose.  
  
That's it. You chug the rest of the beer, and grab another.  
  
His only response is a chuckle. It sends a shiver up your spine. It's different to all the others.  
  
It's low, and soft.  
  
"Y-Yeah, well, wh-who also wouldn't be nervous dating you? Because, you're like, so handsome and nice a-and stuff."  
  
Eloquent as ever.  
  
He rubs at the back of his neck, the blush coming back. Or maybe it never left? You stopped paying attention after the compliment.  
  
"Handsome?"  
  
"Well, duh."  
  
That slipped out before you even had a chance to swallow it down.  
  
Getting drunk does not sound like a bad idea right about now. If only to lessen the complete embarrassment you're beginning to feel.   
  
After finishing the second beer in record time, David suggests the two of you eat something. Even though breakfast doesn't seem like that long ago, you readily agree. If only because filling your mouth with food means less of a chance for you to say some stupid shit.  
  
He brought the obvious foods, like sandwiches and fruit. Then there's some things you guys can grill over the fire later, as well as marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers.  
  
You haven't had a s'more in forever. Honestly, you kinda wanna bypass the rest of it and go straight for that. But he took the time to make the sandwiches, so the least you can do is eat them.  
  
It surprises you that he somehow knew your favourite kind, until you recall an offhand remark you made during a conversation when you first came here.  
  
He remembered it from way back then?  
  
God, he's going to kill you with his kindness.  
  
You finish up the food, and take a sip of your third beer in the space of maybe fourty minutes. Maybe you should pace yourself. It's probably barely past noon.  
  
Then again, as David places his hand on top of your free one resting on the blanket, maybe not. At first you wince because that was the one that got burned, but any pain is quickly replaced by an actual burning sensation. Just. Everywhere.  
  
Good to know you're still weak to any and all physical affection. That's just. Super.  
  
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, and isn't it just your luck that the moment you choose to look at him is also the moment he chooses to lick his lips.  
  
If that ain't a sign from God, fate and the universe.  
  
You take another sip to hide the fact your face is hotter than the fucking sun, and it ends with you choking.  
  
"Are you okay?" The concern in his voice would be touching, if it weren't so humiliating.  
  
"Fi-" You cough, and pull your hand away from his. "F-Fine!"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"It's, it's all g-good." You cough once more, and thump your chest. "I'm cool."  
  
Never has a statement less true than that been spoken.  
  
And the both of you are back to mildly awkward silence. Fun times.  
  
Getting drunk is seeming more and more like the best goal. Drunk you always better at not being dumb.  
  
Which, you're pretty sure, is not a good thing. Usually people's drunk selves are the ones that make stupid decisions. Well, drunk you still does, but they seem less traumatising when you're off your face.  
  
There's no way this could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> famous last words AMIRITE
> 
> damn i am just. so fucking done w myself i closed the tab like three times and had to start back from checkpoints and its like WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, ME
> 
> anyhow i hoped this chapter was okay and that u enjoyed my attempt at ~romance~ cause lol have i ever been on a date? No. No is the answer
> 
> i just *clenches fist* love me some cute shit
> 
> also that PG-13 spice getting hotter. raising the level from one to TWO chillies on the packaging. oh yeah.
> 
> time for bed as its 7am and i have yet to sleep and i have to go collect my shit in like four hours so ya know how it be. bonnuit or bonjour or bonsoir WHATEVER IM TIRED


	13. Of Bears and Exes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT THIS IS LATE AF AND IM SO SORRY
> 
> life has just decided to be a real piece of shit lately. i got no excuse other than that. like, half our belongings got chucked away cause of the fucking people who we used to rent from and we dont even have a proper oven and only just got a washing machine and it's been a Wild Time
> 
> whilst that happened, we did get some of it, and then the people we trusted turned out to be complete bastards and im not gonna go into detail but they ended up destroying some of it so! had to deal with that too and it was Fun
> 
> anyways im super sorry its been so long but i hope this chapter is good enough that no one cares too much. ill tell you down at the bottom if i ended up rewriting it like sixty times which i bet i did
> 
> ALSO I KEEP FORGETTING TO MENTION BUT THANKS FOR ALL UR COMMENTS, KUDOS AND JUST READING IT IN GENERAL TBH!!! i appreciate everyone who is here and everyone who has commented has been so kind and it warms my heart
> 
> hope u enjoy!!!!

After the fourth beer David chuckles and then suggests maybe you slow down a bit.  
  
You laugh, mostly because you're nervous as all hell, then reach for a fifth.  
  
This is it. This is the one.The one that's gonna tip the scales just that tiny little bit into tipsiness.   
  
The rational part of your brain is saying  _hey, maybe this isn't such a good idea after all_ but it's quickly silenced by the rest of your mind yelling  _CHUG CHUG CHUG_ like you're back in college.  
  
You sip at the beer, noticing the wind picking up a bit. It's definitely getting stronger as the time passes, and you hope the tent is strong enough so that it don't get blown the fuck away in the night. But you trust that David is knowledgeable about this kinda stuff, and since he doesn't seem worried, you shouldn't be either.  
  
His focus isn't on you for once, and that gives you a chance to sneak a sideways glance at him. He's gazing up at the sky, that gentle smile curved onto his lips. It makes your heart pick up speed, lightly thumping against your ribs. At least it's not attempting to break out of your chest any more.  
  
You've gulped down half the can before you can even remember, and shifted a tad nearer to where he's sitting. The movement obviously doesn't go unnoticed, as he also makes an attempt to scoot closer together. Normally you'd be halfway into a panic attack brought on by overthinking, but the beers have kinda numbed that. Not to say your anxiety ain't trying. Gotta give it credit.  
  
You and David are now close enough for your shoulders to brush whenever one of you moves. It's a pleasant sensation. Doesn't make you uncomfortable, like this proximity usually would.  
  
He starts to chat about how he's learned to read to clouds to determine the weather. When it'll rain, how much, whether or not it'll pass certain areas. It's hardly the most riveting discussion you've ever been a part of it, but you couldn't care less what he talks about. The way his eyes light up as he goes on about his interests is more than enough to entertain you.  
  
"-and so the thin layer of cloud you can see right now is called a cirrostratus-"  
  
You feel yourself going off into a daydream looking at him. His grin as he tells you about something he's taken the time to learn, the way the muscles in his arms move and tense with certain gestures, just... everything, really.  
  
"-which means in the next twelve to twenty-four hours, we might get some rain! Don't worry though, it should only be a light shower because the-"  
  
He's perfect. That is what you've concluded. David is a perfect being. So kind and happy. A radiant beam of sunshine in your gloomy life.  
  
You wince inwardly. Sunshine. The word brings you sharply back to reality, though it doesn't have the same bite it used to. You blink a couple of times, trying to break out of the spell you've been stuck in.  
  
That's when you notice you've been leaning towards him this whole time. Your body is positioned rather awkwardly, facing towards him. Speaking of faces, yours is way to close to his right now. Yet that doesn't send the surge of alarm it normally would through you.  
  
Oblivious to your predicament, David carries on chatting about this and that. You've stopped paying attention to the words. All you can notice is the way his lips are moving. They look soft. He probably uses balm to keep them from getting chapped. Since he's outside so often. How else could they look so nice?  
  
Your tongue darts out to run over your own. You really are so close. If you just tilted forward a bit more-  
  
"-so, even if it rains, the tent will definitely..." Midway through the last word, his voice falters enough to catch your attention. You can feel his eyes on you, but yours remain fixed to his lips.  
  
"D-Definitely..." He tries again, but to no avail. This is bad. You need to look somewhere else. _Anywhere_ else. Please?  
  
"Uhm..." A noise leaves his throat, midway between a giggle and a cough, and that's enough to redirect your gaze to his the rest of his face.  
  
Shit. You're even closer than before, not half a ruler's length between you. This is bad. Or good. Your mind can't really decide at the current point in time.  
  
David seems to be racked with indecision himself, glancing between your eyes and lips like he isn't quite sure if he's meant to do something or not.  
  
You bite at the inside of your cheek, your slight giddiness warring with the bells ringing out in your head telling you to stop before this goes too far. But it is a date. A kiss would hardly be out of place, right?  
  
Though it's not quite that simple. It's more what comes after the kiss that scares you. The implications of such an obvious show of affection.  
  
Suddenly, there's a warmth around your left hand that wasn't there before. David is holding it in his own palms, and rubbing small circles into it. Heat rushes to so many places in your body you couldn't list them if you tried.  
  
"Could I maybe... Do you want to...?" The actual question is left unsaid, hanging in the air that suddenly seems a lot more humid than a minute ago.  
  
You swallow thickly, throat suddenly dry despite all those drinks you've had. It's up to you. Of course it is, David would never make a choice like this for you. He's too considerate for that.  
  
You forgo using words. You're pretty sure if you tried to speak right now you'd either end up saying something so stupid you'd have to run away in shame, or not be able to form any at all and end up babbling nonsense.  
  
So you nod. Before you can fret about the situation too much.  
  
That favourite smile of yours finds it's way to his lips once again, just before they close the distance and press against yours.  
  
He's gentle. So gentle. But it still manages to make you feel like a hot poker has prodded at the bottom your sternum, sending unbelievable warmth rushing through your chest. It literally leaves you breathless, because there's no way you can think about a trivial thing like  _breathing_ when **David** is kissing **you**.  
  
David. Kissing. You.  
  
You were right; his lips are soft. Probably nicer to kiss than yours. But he doesn't seem to be complaining.  
  
One of his hands travels up from your own, gliding over your arm. Even though he's touching your clothes, that doesn't stop the sparks that seem to fly through skin as if the contact was much more intimate.  
  
Then, a tongue licks at the seam of your closed lips.  
  
Your eyes fly open and you wrench yourself backwards, crashing back down to reality.  
  
Immediately, you can see his face go through several expressions. Shock, confusion, dismay and concern. In that order.  
  
Fuck. You shouldn't have done that. You're not sure if you're thinking about the kiss or the pulling away thing. Either. Both. Whatever.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't-"  
  
"N-No!" You manage to croak out, and grimace at how weird your voice sounds. "It's n-not... That was... It was nice."  
  
'Nice' doesn't quite do it justice, but there's no way you can admit that this chaste kiss without tongue was probably the best one of your life. Certainly the most memorable.  
  
David's expression twists. He's clearly conflicted about something.  
  
"But still I-"  
  
"Really nice!" You interrupt, once more. You can't have him blaming himself for pushing you out of your boundaries. It was your own fault. Of course he was going to try and go a little further, why wouldn't he? You're both adults. Not fumbling twelve year old's at a lame school disco.  
  
He blinks. Then lets out a huff of laughter. Not quite a snort, but close.  
  
"Agreed."  
  
And God, how can this boy make you go from so awkward to feeling comfortable with only a single word. He's truly a miracle worker.  
  
"...sorry." You say. It's quiet, but he still manages to catch it.  
  
"Don't be."  
  
He adjusts his position, and takes your left hand in his again. His grip is loose though. For if you want to pull away.  
  
The gesture causes a wry smile to spread across your lips. Always so thoughtful.  
  
"I would never make you do something you aren't ready for, you know?"  
  
His words are so earnest you can practically hear the sincerity dripping off of them. And boy, if your face wasn't red before, it sure as hell is now. He has be the most sweet, kindhearted guy ever, doesn't he?  
  
"I-I know. I uh... I just wasn't expecting it."  
  
Sounds dumb out loud, but it's the truth. You didn't exactly think that far ahead, too scared you would end up worrying about it and ruining everything.  
  
Not giving your a heart a moment to rest, he brings a hand up to your cheek and cups it. The look on his face is nothing short of loving. You're pretty sure your brain is going to short-circuit at this rate.  
  
"If you're ever uncomfortable, please tell me."  
  
Aaaand there it goes. Bye bye brain, nice knowing you. Even if you were completely useless at producing serotonin, dopamine, and many other extremely useful chemicals.  
  
"Y-Yeah. Of course."  
  
That's a straight up lie though. If you told David every time you were uncomfortable with something, you wouldn't be able to  _anything_ together. Not just uh, 'physical' stuff either. Even being on this date is forcing you outside your cozy little bubble.  
  
Basically anything beyond your duties as a counsellor and brief, friendly interactions with people is pushing it.  
  
His finally takes his hand away from your face, though you notice how his fingers briefly drag along the underside of your jaw.  
  
You have to repress a shudder. It's most assuredly not one of disgust.  
  
"How about a hike into the woods?" He asks. "A nice walk would be refreshing, and I don't think there's anyone around who's going to trash our site."  
  
"Uh-huh. Sounds good." You mumble, slightly dazed from everything that happened in the past five minutes.  
  
"Then, after we get back, we can see about starting that fire. It won't be dark, but that doesn't mean it might not be cold!"  
  
"Yeah." How eloquent. It takes you second to snap out of it. "Uh, I mean yes, right."  
  
He stands up, taking a moment to stretch. And from down here you now realise why he was staring at you earlier.  
  
You watch as everything about him shifts. His shirt is usually tucked tightly into his shorts, but with the movement it's tugged upward, and manages to get free.  
  
You barely see a peek of anything under there before swiftly turning your attention elsewhere. If he takes one look at your face he's going to know exactly what just went through your head, and that would be a fucking calamity.  
  
Your utter embarrassment is not helped when you wonder if your shirt did the same as his, and if he saw anything at all. That tipsiness is wearing thin, so you quickly reach for your forgotten beer and down the rest of it. Only two more left, sadly. Hopefully you can make it through tonight and tomorrow morning without needing any aid.  
  
If you start praying now, maybe God will have mercy on your soul. Then again, maybe not. He's never taken pity on you before.  
  
The urge to groan and slap yourself has to be suppressed. Why are you like this? Why can't you just act normal around him? What does he even see in you anyway? You wouldn't date you. Not in a million years. Too much emotional baggage and you're basically the Worst™. Ugh.  
  
"Well then." He continues, thankfully unaware of your inner turmoil. "Shall we get going?"  
  
He holds out a hand and you gratefully accept. If you tried to stand up by yourself, you're pretty sure your legs might give out.  
  
David is a lot stronger than his skinny frame would let on. He pulls you up with ease, a bright smile on his face. Seeing his usual cheeriness in place helps to wash away some of your nervousness.   
  
He laces his fingers through yours, and sends a pointed look your way. A silent  _is this okay?_  
  
It is, and also isn't. But you squeeze his hand in affirmation, and watch as his eyes light up and his grin widens. Yeah. This is better than pulling away out of fear.  
  
Much better.  
  
As he leads you off into the wooded area surrounding your camp, you think on all the mushy love songs and romantic movies that used to annoy and frustrate you. You feel like can understand them a little bit better now.  
  
If you were confident enough, you would sing about this shit from the rooftops too.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
The hike, though short, was certainly eventful. David sure knows his stuff about nature. He talked about all kinds of things you'd never notice when alone.  
  
And watching his excitement as he explained it all to you was on the top ten list of most adorable things ever, just below 'animals that shouldn't be friends but are anyways'. A tough one to beat.  
  
He never stopped holding your hand the whole time. Even when it got all sweaty and kinda gross. But he didn't appear to mind, and you didn't really care either.  
  
The highlight was definitely when you came across a pair of deer. The two of you managed to get really close to them without them noticing, and he said it's something to do with the wind direction and their sense of smell. As well as the amount of noise you both made.  
  
Which is why it was hardly a surprise that they bolted off when you slipped down the incline you were perched above with him. Of course—since he refused to let go of your hand—David was dragged down with you.  
  
Before you had time to panic about what just happened, he started laughing. Soon after, you joined in. It was so infectious.  
  
What a sight you both must have been. Rolling about on the forest floor, fingers entwined, cackling about nothing.  
  
After getting up, you finally had to stop holding hands for a second. Just to brush down your clothes and such.  
  
You felt a lot less anxious than you had in a long time. You were even bold enough to run a hand through David's hair, helping to brush a twig out of it. It would've been impossible to ignore the way he tensed up, then melted under your touch. That sent those increasingly familiar sparks of lightning shooting down your veins.  
  
You think you're getting used to it. Maybe.  
  
A blush still worked it's way onto your features. But, determined to capitalise on this moment of fleeting brazenness, you took his hand in yours and were the one to lead him around for a bit.   
  
He followed obediently, though quieter than before. You refused to look back, already able to tell he was staring at you with those puppy-dog eyes again. Seeing that for real might have actually given you a heart attack.  
  
You would point at things that caught your eye and ask what they were. He was actually able to name quite a lot of the flora around the area, which was impressive. A lot of it looked much the same to you.  
  
Then, for a while, you strolled in comfortable silence with one another. The only noises being the chittering of various insects and birds.  
  
You were kinda sad when it ended. It'd been so peaceful. You'd actually felt content for an extended period of time, not stressing over the little things like you usually do.  
  
If you really wanted, you know you could've pouted and asked to keep walking just a bit longer. You doubt David would've say no.   
  
But with great power comes great responsibility. You cannot so freely abuse the fact he seems unable to deny your requests. That would be wrong.  
  
Also your legs  _were_ starting to feel sore. Just a little.  
  
So now you're both back at the site, and after offering you a bottle of water—which you downed in about six gulps—he's lighting up the fire.  
  
You check the time on your phone, and it's just barely four. Sunset usually happens at like seven, seven-thirty. Though there is a slight chill in the air, so you can see the appeal of a warm fire.  
  
Not to mention some s'mores. You've been thinking about those babies ever since you noticed the ingredients for them. The best part of camping, truly.  
  
You grab the crackers, chocolate and marshmallows from the basket, and head over to the fire.   
  
David has managed to successfully start it up, and is currently gently fanning the small flame. He's got more patience than you, that's for certain.  
  
Whilst he's still doing that, you look at the pile of sticks you collected earlier, and choose the two sharpest, cleanest-looking ones.  
  
Then you sit down near him, and pop a marshmallow onto each one. You fuck up the first time, and the marshmallow somehow splits apart. Your mind immediately hits you with the thought of what a useless fucking moron you are, but to your own surprise, it's quickly shoved down. You simply try again, and don't mess it up this time.  
  
It has never been that easy to will the berating away. You don't even attempt to question it, simply pleased that everything is going well enough.  
  
When David stops tending to the fire, you hold a stick out to him, and he gives you a grin as he accepts it. Good to know that even after everything, your heart still can't get used to that sight.  
  
The two of you chat about little things; he starts with the story about the day Nikki and Neil came to camp. Up until then, Max had apparently never really gotten along with anyone. Which you can see. Not counting them, the only other camper he really hangs around with is Space Kid. And that's definitely more a 'I-Tolerate-You' thing than an actual friendship.  
  
You're glad he at least has them.   
  
Now that you think about it, it's kind of like how you have Gwen and David. For all her rolled-eyes and complaining, Gwen seems to do a lot for you. And David is himself. Even when he barely knew you, he was always kind. That's just how he is.  
  
It's funny that the camp has changed from somewhere you dreaded being, into a place that feels more like home than where your actual family is. Some of the kids treat you with more respect and compassion than your own parents, and if that isn't fucked up then what is?  
  
You shake them from your mind. You won't them the thought of them ruin this for you.   
  
But you have burned your marshmallow. With a regretful sigh, you replace the charred confection, and resolve not to lose concentration this time.  
  
Some of the stories David's telling you though. You have to be careful you don't snort-laugh. Not sure if you're ready to show that side of you to him yet. That's definitely a thing people do when they're 'dating', not just 'on a date'.  
  
You finally craft a s'more, and it is even more delicious than you remember them being. Or you're really hungry. Eh, whatever. As long as it's good.  
  
The next tale he tells is probably your favourite. Apparently, Preston wrote his own sequel to Romeo and Juliet. You are so upset you weren't there to see it, 'cause it sounds like it was fucking amazing.  
  
Nikki barely got any screen time as Juliet, because one of the flower scout girls stole her place somehow. They later found Nikki hanging upside down backstage, once everything else calmed down.  
  
"Oh, and I haven't even told you the best part yet!" David chuckles, in between bites of a s'more. "Max, the sneaky little fellow, somehow got ahold of my phone! Of course he used it for less than educational things, and almost got me in trouble!"  
  
"Sounds true to character."  
  
"Not to mention he messed around with my Tinder." He shakes his head, and sighs. "In fact, that's actually how I met-"  
  
He pauses mid-sentence, face falling slightly. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he's probably talking about an ex. Maybe that one he nearly mentioned earlier on. Bun-something? Ban?  
  
"Met who?" You ask, genuinely curious. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."  
  
"...my last girlfriend." He says, looking off to the side. "Bonquisha."  
  
 **Bon** quisha! Makes sense. Sort of.  
  
"Huh. Cool name."  
  
"Yeah... I called her Bon-Bon."  
  
That has to be the most David thing you've ever heard. Even as a small twinge of something  _which is definitely not jealousy ahaha_ pulls at your gut.  
  
You're not sure if you should ask any more, since it seems a little rough on him still. You hope he doesn't still have feelings for this lady. If it were anyone else you might be worried.  
  
But as he looks back in your direction, and shows you that perfect little smile, you know there's no chance of this date being some rebound thing.  
  
He tells a few more stories, and you both finish off a couple more s'mores. It's actually starting to get dark now, and during a pause where he has to leave because 'nature is calling him', you check the time. Six-twenty already? It feels like barely an hour has passed.  
  
You suppose it's a good thing that time passes by so fast when you're together. That means it's fun. You hope it is, anyway. You've only got your own experience to go off of.  
  
You can't help but wonder if he had more fun on dates with this Bonquisha than with you.  
  
Nope! Put that thought to bed. You do not need to be comparing yourself to a woman you don't even know. That's not going to help all those self-esteem issues you have.  
  
When David returns, nature decides it's your turn next, and you excuse yourself.  
  
Pissing in general isn't exactly on the list of 'enjoyable things to do', but it's even worse in the woods. You can't help but wonder if some sort of bear or something is going to sneak up and attack you. The only reassuring thing is that you're pretty sure bears aren't the stealthiest of animals.  
  
Coming back is sort of embarrassing, as David cheerily holds out some hand sanitizer, because he knows what just went down. Obviously. It's not like you went out there to find fairies.  
  
At least he doesn't care. He's probably done this loads of times.  _With Bonquisha_ your mind helpfully adds.  
  
You let out an audible groan, and immediately regret it.   
  
He turns to you, looking perplexed.  
  
"Just kinda tired." You mutter as an attempt at explaining. "I didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
Fortunately, he seems to buy it.  
  
"Haha, me either!" He grins bashfully.  
  
It helps calm you that he still seems so excited to be here with you. You're not boring him.  _Yet_.  
  
Wow okay. Seems like your brain has decided it's going to be a dick for the remainder of the evening. That's cool.  
  
"We probably have the same reason."  
  
That is evidently the wrong thing to say, though you cannot for the life of you figure out why.   
  
But David's face goes from a soft pink hue to fully ripened tomato in a matter of seconds. It'd be funny, if you know what the hell was going on.  
  
"David? You... You okay?"  
  
"Fine!" He squeaks in a voice that suggests the opposite.  
  
"...Are you sure?"  
  
"Yep!" Another squeak and a nervous chuckle, as he runs a hand through his hair. "I-I'm good. It's all. Good."  
  
This is one of the most confusing interactions you've ever had, which is saying a lot given your track record.  
  
"Uh... Okay?" You scratch at your neck, an air of awkwardness settling around the two of you.  
  
"I should check that the car's locked!"  
  
And with that obvious excuse, he's gone.  
  
You're not quite sure what just happened.  
  
All you said is you probably both couldn't sleep because of the same reason. Which is true, right? You were both excited and nervous about the date? That was what he meant, right?  
  
Right???  
  
He takes his time with checking the car. Though you're pretty sure that's not what he's doing. And by pretty sure you mean 'one hundred percent, would stake your life on it' sure.  
  
When he does return, it seems he's in a better state of mind than before you set him off. Which you still don't understand, but also don't want to ask about. In case it happens again.  
  
Instead you strike up a conversation about the kinds of animals that live around here. It seems to work as a distraction, because soon any former awkwardness is brushed away by David's love of tutoring you about the beauty of the natural world.  
  
Every now and then one of you adds to the fire, to keep it burning. As the sky turns from a bluish-orange to shades of red and purple, you are thankful you collected so much wood earlier.  
  
You're both sitting right beside one another, for warmth and because it's nice to be so close together again.   
  
A hand brushes past the small of your back, and you flinch on instinct. The brief contact was enough to feel like an iron hot brand, since you're unused to being touched in such an area.  
  
"Ah, sorry!" David apologises, and you don't have to see his face to know he feels bad about it. "I-I didn't mean to-"  
  
You don't want things to go back to being awkward, so there's really only one thing you can do.  
  
You press close to his side, and lean your head on his shoulder. His mouth instantly snaps shut, and you can actually hear him swallow.  
  
Unable to look his way, you fix your eyes on the fire. The way embers flick off of it, dancing and swirling in the air before disappearing is mesmerising.  
  
A hesitant and shaky arm winds it's way around your back, hand resting cautiously above your hip. Where he touched you when he caught you before. The memory alone makes your face flare up.  
  
Confident he's not looking at you, you sneak a glance up at David's face. His eyes are turned towards the sky, which is getting darker with every minute. The first stars will be visible soon.  
  
"...pretty." You murmur, without thinking.  
  
Great. Now he's looking at you.  
  
"What is?"  
  
 _You._   
  
"The sky! It's. Uh. Pretty." Well that didn't sound fucking stupid, good job.  
  
"It is." He agrees, to your instant relief. "But you know what's even prettier?"  
  
Oh. Oh no. This is not going to be some cheesy as fuck romance movie line, right? You don't think you're capable of handling one of those.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"When the stars are out! It's like you can see the whole milky way!"  
  
Thank God for David being David and turning it into something about the outside world. You love him.  
  
...Yeah. You do.  
  
That's scary. Emotions are scary. Being in love with someone is scary. Depending on people is scary.  
  
Being alone is scarier.  
  
You can't help but laugh softly, poking at his ribs. He lets out a small yelp of surprise, and frowns.  
  
"That was your cue to say some super corny line about how 'I'm prettier than all the colours in the sky combined' blah blah blah."  
  
The tips of his ears turn rosy, and he looks a little flustered.  
  
"I'm teasing you, David." You go to poke him again, but he catches your hand.  
  
"That's not very nice." He says, though the tone is playful instead of reprimanding. "How would you like it if I teased you right now?"  
  
"Dunno. Why don't you find out?"  
  
His eyes flicker with something you can't quite make out after you say that, and he quickly drops your hand.  
  
"M-Maybe another time."  
  
Okay well there goes your cool demeanour. He absolutely just thought of something... something that your parents probably wouldn't approve of you doing with your quasi-boss.  
  
Boy. Is it hot out here, or is just you?  
  
Well, actually, it's not even you. The air is getting nippy, and your legs are starting to get cold. Though being so close to David helps, you have to pull yourself away from him to stoke the fire once more.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
"A little." You admit, poking at the wood to make sure it all catches. "It's no big deal though."  
  
"We can use the blanket, if you want." He suggests. "From when we were eating earlier?"  
  
Oh. That's a pretty good idea.  
  
"Okay, sure."  
  
"You're fine with it?"  
  
For a moment, you're puzzled by what he means. But then you envision it. Both of you cuddled up beneath a blanket. Together. That gives you a moment's pause.  
  
But only a moment.  
  
"Y-Yeah. I am."  
  
You retrieve the blanket, and settle back down next to David. He curls an arm back around your waist, pulling you just a little closer than before. Your attempts to fight back a blush are probably in vain, but at least you're trying.  
  
It's a little small to completely encircle the two of you, but it's close enough. His free hand holds the two ends together, whilst both of yours are placed squarely in your lap. You have no idea where would be appropriate to put them right now.  
  
Do you put an arm around him too? That seems awkward. If you do, where does it go? Not shoulders, but maybe around the chest? Waist is far too risky for you to try. Knowing your luck, you might miss and go just a bit too low.  
  
Should you put a hand on his leg? No, wait, that's even worse. Wow. None of these options seem great.  
  
Maybe it's just that you're rusty at the whole physical affection thing. Not like you've got a whole lotta practice. This is a bit different from being forced to politely hug all your relatives at a family gathering.  
  
You decide to just lean into him once more, nuzzling against his body to get comfortable.   
  
You can practically feel the sheer glee radiating off of him at that. It's enough to make you want to curl into a blushing ball and scream internally.  
  
But, embarrassed as you are, you can admit it feels nice.  
  
This is going to take a lot of getting used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JESUS CHRIST THIS TOOK ME LIKE SEVEN HOURS OF STRAIGHT WRITING AND IM OS DEAD I STARTED AT 3AM ITS NOW HALF PAST TEN IN THE MORNING AND I NEED TO SHOWER AND SLEEP
> 
> i am so sorry for the wait and also for any typos but i physicallly cannot review this rn my brain is just fucking mush
> 
> also lol what is romance? what is date stuff? i got second hand embarrassment writing this bc im like NOOO OMG WHHy but i hope it turned out cute and fluffy and not too awkward but awkward enough to make sense
> 
> im tired. and rambling. i should sleep. love you all byE


	14. Safety First Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IM SORRY
> 
> okay so. i know its been a While. oh my God im SO sorry i literally didnt mean for this to take 5 months BUT HERE WE ARE FOLKS
> 
> jesus CHRIST i dont know if anyone is still reading this or cares but if you are HOW PATIENT ARE YOU???? ABANDON ME IM GARBAGE but also pls dont i swear ive got this shit planned out just. busy schedule
> 
> baaaasically what happened is as follows:
> 
> 1\. got kicked outta my house of 20 years. as in me whole life lol. so that was fun  
> 2\. got put somewhere SHIT with DAMP and my room is so small that my bed takes up 90 percent of it (not an exaggeration)  
> 3\. FINALLY they're moving me to my chosen neighbourhood after me literally harassing them since like november last year  
> 4\. BUT I GOTTA DECORATE ALL OF IT THEY WOULDNT GIVE ME MONEY FOR FLOORING AND IM THE POOREST PERSON EVER  
> 5\. so i've had to use all my spare time basically crying down the phone at benefits to Help Me, Please, I Beg and them taking pity on me i guess cause they've agreed to give me a loan and some free furniture
> 
> SO BASICALLY I'VE HAD A HECTIC TIME FRIENDS, AND IT'S NOT EVEN OVER but lord knows i've wanted to write this for ages. its been nearly half a year so forgive me if my writing style is slightly different, it changes a lot bc i am still young and new
> 
> anyways onto the chapter!!!! hope u have a nice time reading it.
> 
> god im sorry it took so long and thanks to everyone who still reads/likes/comments on this shit jfc

The whole 'cuddling' thing is going great. Amazing. Almost too good to be true, really.  
  
You've never really been this close with anyone before. Certainly not since high school and all the shit that came with it. The thought actually makes you shiver, though luckily it's cause is easily disguised a the cold.  
  
That's what David seems to think, since the arm encircling your waist goes higher, and he rubs his hand across your upper arm. An obvious attempt to warm you.  
  
However it actually makes your blood run cold. You were already thinking about high school, and that's dangerous territory. The fact you can feel his fingers pressing into the permanent reminders of how  _weak_ and  _pathetic_  you are doesn't help much.  
  
You clench your jaw and tense up, fighting every instinct to pull away and retreat. Your brain is torn between screaming endlessly in panic and repeating 'this is fine' as it sets itself on fire, so there's no point looking to it for help in your valiant attempt not to royally fuck this moment up.  
  
As he always seems to, David notices that something is wrong. Whether it's the fact he can feel the muscles in your arm stiffen under his touch, or the grim look set upon your face that tips him off, who can say?  
  
"Are you okay?" He asks.  
  
His voice is gentle. Soft. Warm. All things are still quite foreign.  
  
"Fine." Comes your terse reply.  
  
You don't have to look at his face to know he doesn't believe you. You wouldn't believe you either.  
  
His touch lighten, to the point where you can barely feel it at all through your clothes.  
  
"Is this..." He fumbles, searching for the right words. "Do you not want to...?"  
  
He leaves the question open-ended, being a considerate as ever.  
  
"That's not it." You shake your head, gaze focused forward. "I like. This."  
  
"Are you sure? If you're uncomfortable-"  
  
"It's not because of you."  
  
A sigh escapes your lips, and you finally manage to peer at him from the corner of your eye.  
  
He looks worried, and your heart sinks a little. Your mind manages to get enough of it's shit together to tell you  _you're a fucking waste of space_ before it goes back to trying to make you panic. Thanks for that vote of confidence, brain.  
  
"I'm just" You swallow, fighting back the urge to vomit. "not used to this. Touching, I mean."  
  
David's expression goes from one of worry to a mixture of confusion and concern.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
You suppose it's within his character not to understand. He seems like someone's who always given and received affection rather easily. The former more than the latter, if you were to hazard a guess.  
  
One of your hands comes up to scratch at your neck, as you look down at the ground. It's hard to maintain eye contact when ninety percent of you wants to curl up into a ball and die.  
  
"I've never really... I haven't uh..."  _Been held? Cuddled with another person? Had someone touch me intimately in years?_   "You know..."  
  
Obviously he doesn't because he's not a goddamned mind reader. Lord help you and your inability to express your feelings in articulate sentences.  
  
The confusion overtakes the concern for a moment, which is made clear by the slightly puzzled noise he makes. Then he makes an even more interesting sound, akin to a squawk, and immediately retracts his hold on you. Your eyes flick back to him on reflex and find him red-faced and rigidly straight.  
  
"I-I see." Does he? Does he really? Because you think some wires might've gotten crossed here. "That's uh... G-Good to know?"  
  
??? Literally what is going on. Something's up.  
  
"David." You say slowly, almost afraid of him running away. "What did you think I meant just now?"  
  
"Huh?" And the confusion's back. Well at least you're not the only one. "Wh-What do you mean?"  
  
"Well... I was talking about how I haven't..." C'mon, you can do it! It's easy! Just have to admit you have had literally no physical contact that meant something since you were a child!  
  
He keeps looking at you, head tilted. It'd be adorable, if you weren't both so baffled.  
  
"I. I haven't done this sorta thing before." You mumble, rubbing at your arms self-consciously. Like he'll think less of you. "Cuddled or, uh, whatever this is. It's new. And scary. A-And nice. So... yeah."  
  
"Oh." He breathes out. You can visibly see the redness covering his face fade into pink, and he coughs awkwardly. "I-I see. That makes more sense..."  
  
"Than what?"  
  
Aaaaand the red's back. In full force too.  
  
You squint suspiciously. He didn't...?  
  
No. No way. This is  _David_ for fuck's sake. The man's about as pure as pure gets.  
  
...Right?  
  
Right???  
  
So there's no way that he- Nah, he couldn't possibly have thought-  
  
Your eyes meet his. They flick down, then up, unsure where to settle. His throat bobs as he swallows.  
  
Oh sweet baby Jesus he  **did**.  
  
Your face explodes. Literally. Okay not literally because that would be anatomically impossible and also very messy.  
  
But hey, who knows, it might actually be preferable to realising David thought you were talking about  _being a fucking virgin_.  
  
Because there is nothing else that warrants the level of embarrassment he's sending out. And with how you phrased the whole thing, it's the only reasonable explanation.  
  
If God could strike you down any time now, that'd be just Swell. Please. Please do it.  
  
You have zero idea how to respond to this situation other than your own face turning equally red and your body equally rigid. Because that is how to deal with things. Hell yeah.  
  
"I-I'm sorry! It was wrong and presumptuous of me to assume-!" He rambles, but you barely hear it through the drumming of your heartbeat in your ears.  
  
WAIT WHAT DOES 'GOOD TO KNOW' MEAN???? WHY DID HE SAY THAT?????? HUH????????????  
  
"You probably think I'm some sort of horrible p-pervert or something!" He sounds like he's on the verge of a panic attack. "B-But I'm not! I promise! Though, I guess one wouldn't normally admit to being one a-anyway so that's kind of redundant but-"  
  
"I'm not."  
  
It comes out much more flat in tone than you would think, given that you're about as red as a freshly-painted stop sign.  
  
David, the poet he is, replies with a flustered "Huh? Whuh?"   
  
"Not a virgin. And I don't think you're a pervert." Wow you are. Calm about this. Way too calm. Frighteningly so.  
  
"Oh. R-Right. Okay then."  
  
"College happened." You say, as though that clears everything up. "Been there, done that."   
  
You decide not to mention you have only vague recollections of the entire thing, don't even remember the other person, and aren't even sure you got off. Plus you were hammered. It's probably not the best time to reveal any more than what you have.  
  
The blush persists though, because of course it does.  
  
"M-Me too." He stammers, and you can finally feel him relaxing. "I am also not... that."  
  
You had figured, what with him having been in a previous relationship and all. Though, it's not like it's a requirement, so he could've been. But you doubted it. The way he's acted some times, with a playful glint in his eye, let you know he at least has some experience.  
  
"Good to know." You echo, throwing a small grin his way.  
  
He chuckles in response, ruffling his hair and averting his gaze.  
  
"Ah! The fire!"  
  
You blink as he jumps up, dropping the blanket he'd been holding around your shoulders, and rushes to throw some more wood onto the dwindling flames.  
  
And now you've realised how low they've gotten, you can feel the chill in the air. It's still a summer night, making it pretty mild, but even so there's a bite to it.  
  
"Hey, since I'm up, do you want a drink or something to eat? I'm pretty sure we still have some stuff left..."  
  
"A drink sounds good." You stretch, wincing as one of the bones in your right side audibly cracks. "Orange soda, right?"  
  
"Right."   
  
You flex your shoulder, aiming to get rid of the stiffness there. Your legs feel pretty dead too.  
  
"Sore?" David asks when he returns, sodas in hand. You nod and take the one he offers, rolling your neck.  
  
"A little. It's fine though. I've dealt with worse."  
  
"If you'd like I can ah..." He pauses, looking unsure. You notice the tips of his ears are still tinged red. "Make it less sore?"  
  
You blink, not catching what he means.  
  
"...A massage?"  
  
Oh!  
  
Oh.  
  
You nearly drop the can, and hastily open it to take a sip.  
  
"Just a suggestion!" He adds quickly. "It's fine if you're not, um, okay with it."  
  
"It's, it's cool." You manage to say, and force down the urge to chug the entire drink. "I'd ah, a-appreciate it."  
  
Oh God. Are you really agreeing to this? You're really agreeing to this. To have David's hands. Touching you. For an extended period of time.  
  
 _Well, it can't be as close and intimate a cuddling, right? Right._   
  
Yeah, sure. You keep telling yourself that, buddy.  
  
You nearly choke on your soda when you feel his hands gently touch your shoulders. You'd been wrapped up in thinking about how  **great** of an idea this way beforehand to notice him skulk up behind you.  
  
"Tell me if it hurts or anything, alright?"  
  
That is some prime innuendo material right there. But you won't lower yourself by pointing it out. Also because you've embarrassed yourself enough for one evening, thank you very much.  
  
He starts kneading the flesh firmly, though very obviously trying not to do it too hard. Though it flusters you at first, it's honestly pretty good.  
  
"If being a camp counsellor doesn't work out," You bite back a small groan as he hits a sensitive spot "then I'm pretty sure you have a career as a masseur."  
  
David laughs in a silvery way, further calming your nerves. This is good. You can deal with this.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
"No, no, no!" Max nearly screeches, pulling at his hair. "This is not how this was supposed to go!"  
  
He's already tossed the binoculars to Nikki, who's peering through them with great interest.  
  
"Oooh! David and Not-Gwen, sitting in a tree! M-A-S-S-A-G-I-N-G!"  
  
"Nikki, that's two letters too long to fit the tune." Neil complains, kicking at the ground in boredom. He's only there because Max asked him to be.  
  
"Well I can't use the real rhyme! They haven't done that yet!"  
  
"That we know of."  
  
That statement seems to piss off Max for some reason, and he growls.  
  
"They were supposed to-to-to, well I don't know! Just not" He gestures towards where your camp is set up "this!"  
  
"Why are you so worked up over them getting along anyways?" Neil asks, then shudders a little. He's not used to being outside at this time. "And can we go back now? If it gets any later the taxi people are gonna question why a bunch of pre-teens are out so late."  
  
"I just can't figure it out." Now his foot is tapping on the ground. Great. "What does she see in him?"  
  
"David's nice! He always says and does nice stuff!" Nikki chirps happily, finally looking back at them.  
  
"'Nice' isn't a good enough reason! There has to be something else to it!"  
  
"He's a pushover too!" She adds, grinning. "It'd probably be real easy to get him to do stuff for you. Like clean and cook!"  
  
"Huh. That's true..." Max mutters something to himself, and Neil wonders for about the sixth time that day why he agreed to this.  
  
Oh right. Because Max asked him.  
  
"Maybe it's because they're both annoying and awkward." He quips with a sneer.  
  
"Woooooow. Someone's jealous." Nikki giggles.  
  
"Jealous?" He narrows his eyes at her. "And just what the hell makes you think I'd be jealous?"  
  
"Pffft, probably the fact Max is paying more attention to them than you."  
  
Neil's eyes go comically wide and he splutters indignantly.  
  
"Quiet nerds, I'm trying to think!"  
  
Thank whatever is out there Max goes into his own little world when scheming. If he'd heard what she'd said, he'd probably disown Neil as a friend.  
  
Said boy sidles up beside Nikki as she goes back to spying on the both of you.  
  
"Listen. I don't know what you  **think** you're implying-"  
  
"Oh, I was implying that you l-"  
  
"Shhhhh!" He slaps a hand over her mouth, forgetting for an instant that Nikki is an absolute animal. She bites down on the meat between his thumb and fingers, and he yelps loudly and leaps away.  
  
"What the fuck are you two doing?"  
  
"Well I was  _trying_ to spy on them some more, but Neil wants to talk about-"  
  
"Nothing!" He quickly interrupt her, smiling just a little too widely. "We were doing nothing. At all."  
  
"Ugh. I don't have the time or patience to deal with whatever weird shit you two are going through. I have to focus on David and Sunshine!"  
  
"Right." Neil sighs, digging his shoe into the dirt once again. "Why is it you call her that again? I mean, she does have an actual name. It's-"  
  
"I know what it is." Max snaps. He unusually annoyed for some reason. "You wouldn't get it."  
  
"It must be 'cause she's so pretty, like the sun! And if you stare at for too long, you go blind! Ooh, that sounds hardCORE! I'm gonna stare at her some more!"  
  
"She's not pretty!" Max snaps again, face red from... anger? Yes, that must be it. Anger. "And David's ugly as fuck, so let's cross 'looks' off the list too."  
  
"Max, please. Have mercy on my frail body. It's too cold to be out here right now. Can't we just solve this when they get back to camp?"  
  
For a moment, it looks as though the shorter boy might take pity on his friend. He contemplates something, clearly deep in thought. Then snaps his fingers.  
  
"I know! He's brainwashing her!"  
  
"Now we're getting into the good stuff!" Nikki is once again pulled back into the conversation (if it can really be called that). "But how? Weird signals? Is he secretly an alien with space powers? Is David  _ **God**_ ?!"  
  
"Nope." Max brushes aside all her ridiculous theories. "Doing it whilst she's sleep. He's whispering some shit into her ears."  
  
"Subliminal messaging during periods of rest? Really?" He hopes his tone carries the absolute lack of interest he has in this topic.  
  
"Well, yeah! What else could it be?"  
  
Neil shrugs.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. That he's kind to her? That she's desperate for any kind of affection? That they're two very lonely people who's options are limited given they're stuck in the ass-end of nowhere?"  
  
Max glares at him.  
  
"What? It's true."  
  
"He's got a point y'know." Nikki chimes in. "I mean if I had to choose between David and Gwen, I'd pick David. He'd be easier to manipulate."  
  
Max pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing it as though to hold back a headache.  
  
"I am  _this_ close to just going over there and putting a gigantic spider in David's sleeping bag.  _This_ close." He holds his fingers apart by a minute amount.  
  
"Honestly, I'm not sure why you haven't done anything up until this point." Neil says.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean, usually you wouldn't wait for something to fuck up. You'd go and fuck it up personally. Whilst laughing."  
  
"W-Well that's because..." Max struggles, trying to find a reason to explain his odd behaviour. "They'd, they'd definitely catch us!"  
  
"When we first got here they were literally gone from the campsite."  
  
"And we had no idea when they'd come back!"  
  
"Fine. So what's stopped you from, oh I don't know, just setting the bush on fire and bailing? It'd certainly ruin their lovely atmosphere."  
  
"I can't do that! We just had the fire at camp. It'd be-" Max stops himself from finishing the sentence, fidgeting awkwardly. "Where's the fun in running away without getting to witness the carnage?"  
  
Neil raises an eyebrow. Now that's suspicious. It sounds like his dear friend who doesn't give a shit about anything, gives a shit about something. The something in particular being your feelings.  
  
He knows you were shaken by the fire. He's also aware Max helped you out, and so also knows. He knows that Max knows.  
  
Perhaps discouraged by Neil's incessant grilling of him, Max huffs and turns away.  
  
"Whatever. You're right, this is lame and it's cold. Time to go back."  
  
"Awww, but it's getting good!" Nikki complains, and to be honest Neil had almost forgotten she was there. She's never usually this quiet.  
  
"What? How so? Gimme!" Max pretty much snatches the binoculars back from her, and quickly forgets his previous words.  
  
 _Wonderful. Kill me._  
  
"Ohohoho! You're right, Nikki! This is about to get good!"  
  
"What does  **that** mean?"  
  
Neil doesn't care, he really doesn't. But his curiosity often get the better of him in situations like these.  
  
"Well... Let's just say I left a little 'gift' in one of David's bags. One I'm pretty sure they haven't discovered yet, and are about to."  
  
The smirk on Max's face is nearly maniacal. Nikki snickers. Neil is confused.  
  
"A gift?"  
  
"Call the cab, Neil. We won't need to stay here much longer." He's so relieved at those words, that Neil doesn't even question the sudden change.  
  
"I don't mind spending the night out here, living in the wild, taming the animals! Oh and spying on them some more!" Nikki offers, but Max shakes his head.  
  
"Nah. No need. Plus if you get eaten by a wolf or something, who'll be the first person they blame?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah that's true!"  
  
Neil quickly whips out Gwen's phone. They had to make do since David's gotten better at protecting his. Taking Gwen's possessions comes with a much higher risk, if she ever finds out. He dials the most recent number.  
  
As he's on the phone to the taxi company, he almost misses Max's final words to himself.  
  
"There's NO way she won't freak out. And he definitely will. Heh, I really am a genius."  
  
How ominous.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
You felt somewhat obliged to offer David a massage back once he was done with you. But you also weren't a complete masochist, and decided to spare yourself the indignity of attempting to even  _try_ acting like you have any clue how to give one. You're pretty sure he doesn't mind, given that he's David.  
  
"Thanks. Uh, it felt good." You look behind you to give him a small smile, and notice how he yawns.  
  
Oh yeah, it's probably getting late. Well. Later. Late to you is usually like four in the morning. But since you've been at Camp Campbell, it's grown to be more like eleven.  
  
God you feel old.  
  
"No problem. It was my pleasure."   
  
Okay um wow you did not need to hear him say the word 'pleasure' with that cute little grin on his face. In fact it should be illegal. Henceforth banned. Forever.  
  
"Are you tired?" You feel mildly proud you didn't stutter that out, even as your cheeks flush.  
  
"Ah..." He rubs at the back of his neck. "A bit. I don't mind staying up though!"  
  
Adorable. 'Staying up'. Like a kid.  
  
"Nah, it's fine. I'm pretty tuckered out too."  
  
"Bed?" He asks, all innocence and purity. God bless his soul.  
  
 _"Bed?"_   Your mind supplies him saying, in a smooth and sexy tone as he smirks at you.   
  
Shit.  
  
"U-Um yeah." You internally cringe at how your voice squeaked at the end there.  
  
"You can go in and get changed first. I'll put out the fire."  
  
"Right. Yes. That's a good idea." You stand up, stretching once again. Your legs are giving you a hard time for not doing so sooner, but fuck 'em.   
  
You march in the direction of the tent, sneaking a glance back at David as he bends forwards to deal with the fire.  
  
 _Nice ass_ _._  
  
WOW OKAY. THANKS BRAIN. NEEDED THAT.  
  
Your face is back to being red as a strawberry and you can only pray that you don't start sweating profusely. It'd be awful to try and sleep like that.  
  
Need to change. Pajamas. Right.  
  
You brought something heavier than you'd usually wear during summer. Because honestly, even the thought of sleeping in any less than a ratty shirt and sweatpants makes you anxious. Of many things.  
  
There's the whole  _'_ David could see something!' thing but also 'David could see... something.' thing. And yes, those are two definitely different things.  
  
You stretch one last time, getting rid of any last aches and pains from sitting still for so long. Your shoulders and neck feel  _amazing_ , courtesy of Davey-boy himself. You love him for sure.  
  
Speaking of, his bag is in here too. You're pretty sure it just contains his own set of pajamas (matching, if you remember correctly) and possibly some stuff like a hairbrush and deodorant. And a toothbrush. You doubt he'd forget it.  
  
But you did. Damn. Well, you're dealing with morning breath. The regret can eat you up inside later.  
  
Still... There's something weird about it. There's a small pocket on the side of the bag and it's piquing your interest. It's pretty small, so you've got no idea what'd fit into it. Keys maybe? A small phone?  
  
It's not technically snooping, right? You're not unzipping anything after all. Just. Looking. If he catches you, you can say it fell out or whatever. Yeah. That'll work.  
  
This is a bad idea. It really is, and you know it. But by God, your curious nature will not respond to reason. Like, no wonder you have anxiety when you do shit like this all the time. Just be boring and never do anything and you never have to be anxious. Seems like a fair deal.  
  
You can pinch whatever it is between your fingers and thumb, and do so to pull it out. It feel weird, in all honesty. Like some kind of packet? What the hell would David have that comes in it a pa-  
  
SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER. RED ALERT FOLKS, WE HAVE A CONDOM ON THE LOOSE.  
  
By on the loose, you mean in your grip. As you stare at it. Frozen on the spot.  
  
He has a condom. A  **condom**. Holy fuck.  
  
As you gape in horror and mild fascination at the offending object, you hear a rap on the outside of the tent.  
  
"Are you all done in there?"  
  
David's voice snaps you out of your shock, and for some reason—for some fucking reason—you shriek and throw it away from you. Like it's a dead animal, and not a perfectly normal method of contraception.  
  
It's more the implication than anything. If he's carrying one of  _those_ around then... then does he-  
  
You never get to speculate on that thought though, as David quickly busts inside the tent.  
  
"Are you okay?! What was that scream for?!"  
  
His eyes dart around the tent, and you Pray For Death as they land upon the only thing that sticks out besides your idiotic self.  
  
The small, square, blue packet currently lying on the floor.  
  
He frowns, and walks over to it. Your mind races through every possible thing you could say that might not immediately make you out to be a complete freak.  
  
"What is-"  
  
"I'MSORRYITHOUGHTITWASCANDY!"  
  
Fucking nailed it bro.  
  
David turns back to you for a moment, flabbergasted at the sudden outburst. But then he continues with what he was doing before, and picks up the Thingie™.  
  
Then, his face bursts into actual flames.  
  
Amazing. Iconic. He's become a human torch.  
  
"Wh-Wh-Wh-What is something like, like,  _ **this**_ do-doing in here?!"  
  
Huh. Well that's weird. It's almost like he's just as uncomfortable with the idea and implications of having a condom in this situation as you. Which is strange, since he's who brought it.  
  
"I swear!! I-I didn't mean t-to find it!" Is defending your snooping the right thing to do here? Should you be angrily interrogating him about carrying a condom around on a first date?  
  
"F-Find it?!" Oh goodie, you're both yelling in a panicked manner. This'll be fun. "Y-You _found_ this?! Like on the ground?!"  
  
"What?! N-No!" You are well aware that you backing away from him makes you seem even more guilty. "I-In! In your b-bag!"  
  
"In my WHAT?!" Now it's his turn to shriek, as his face glows a shade of red you didn't previously know existed. "B-B-B-But h-how?!"  
  
What does he mean how?! What are you even supposed to say to that?!  
  
Suddenly, a whisper of the past creeps into your mind.  
  
 _"Make sure to be safe."  
  
_ Ah. Of course.  
  
Everything falls into place.  
  
"I'm going to fucking  **kill** Max." You hiss between your gritted teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always i am sorry for any typos/misspellings but i am Very Tired and also some of my keys on my keyboard are sort of fucked and stuck so they sometimes just decide to not work which is always fun
> 
> but!!! i hope you enjoyed this. i certainly enjoyed gettin back to these dorks. love them so much. this chapter is somewhat shorter than i wanted but i felt like it was a good way to end and when i tried to continue it i couldnt find another spot to do so. we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good
> 
> i hope that my next chapter for this and my other fic will not take as long but by god i cannot promise anything. life has been throwing me curveballs for the entirety of 2018 and i am trying my hardest to dodge em
> 
> til the next time!!!


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